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Writing Contest #118 - Sequel

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  • #16
    Any suggestions/ideas for the next one from you (or anyone)?
    So many ideas, so little time...

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Chris2.0 View Post
      Any suggestions/ideas for the next one from you (or anyone)?
      Have over indulged in a guilty pleasure of urban fantasy recently ( had a Dresden marathon over Christmas ). I was going to say something Urban/Norse, but maybe broaden it to mythology themed ( Norse, Greek, Celtic, African ) / Urban mix?

      and excuse my befuddlement but what is the story with the mandatory link or am I missing something???
      Diary of a Super Fiend

      Collected Zepster

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      • #18
        I like the idea of updated mythology, with an urban bent. If I can't submit I will definitely make time to read/comment/vote.

        I don't know what the deal with the link is. I don't think my posts have had that. Maybe some bug from the new PJ format?
        Writing Blog

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        • #19
          Cool idea as always Zepster !

          And Writing Contest #119 - Urban Fantasy has been (double)posted!
          Last edited by Chris2.0; 01-12-2018, 11:28 AM.
          So many ideas, so little time...

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          • #20
            Characters of Note: PAIGE ORION, from BOTH the Rovers, Ep. 1 and Make Work, as well as VAN EFFEN from Rovers, Ep. 1 and Rooftops. Basic descriptions of both can be pulled from Rovers, Ep. 1.
            The PRINCE OF WAR: a large-bodied, heavyset individual looking 40-60, although you can’t tell this due to the fact that he’s wearing full fighting armor over his body (Powered Battle Armor/Iron Man Suit) only his head is exposed; his face is fleshy, and bearded, even though his facial hair is carefully styled and coiffed. He is an arrogant man, and you can see it in his expressions-normally he is in control of the situation, and even when he isn’t, he thinks that he can be. His powered armor is basic-no weaponry or sensors aboard that will make him clumsy or over-bulky, so that he can use normal seating. The left side of his face has some obvious cybergear across and including his left eye and eyesocket-he has a sort of cyber-monocle over that eye. (Brian Dennehy or John Goodman)

            TITLE: Rovers of the Phoenix War 2

            PAGE ONE3 Panels)


            PANEL 1: closeup on the PRINCE OF WAR’s face(see my description above); he is on his back on the ground, wounded/bloodied by a bullet graze to his forehead and a black eye and bloody(broken, maybe?) nose, shouting toward the POV. NOTE: the explosive caption/word balloon is shared by both PANEL 1 and PANEL 2.
            PRINCE OF WAR(explosive)
            Shoot!!

            PANEL 2: closeup on VAN EFFEN’s face(see description above); he is standing, has a cut on his cheek from being bludgeoned (from Powered Battle Armor fist…) although his eyes are on his foe, he’s shouting toward the POV in a remarkably similar way to Page 1, Panel 1

            NOTE: the explosive caption/word balloon is shared by both PANEL 1 and PANEL 2. (See above)
            VAN EFFEN(explosive)
            Shoot!!
            PANEL 3: (Large) Within a large futuristic stateroom/bedroom, there has been a major fight; at one side of the room, VAN EFFEN is standing astraddle above the PRINCE OF WAR, who is in his armor; VAN EFFEN has one of his pistols aimed at the PRINCE’s head, while the PRINCE is holding a piece of furniture like a club. In the other ground (Foreground if VAN EFFEN and the PRINCE OF WAR are in the background, or vice versa) PAIGE ORION is standing, gun leveled on the fighting pair at the far end of the room. If you can see his face, he looks…rattled.

            VAN EFFEN and PRINCE OF WAR (explosive, both shouting into same word balloon)
            Shoot him, Orion!!

            CAPTION: …so I’m betting that you would like to know how I got into this situation of shooting either my past boss or my present boss…

            TITLE: Return On Investment

            PAGE TWO: (5 Panels)

            PANEL 1: Zoom on PAIGE ORION’s face; a little drop or two of sweat running down his forehead/face

            CAPTION: Now what?

            PANEL 2flashback) PAIGE ORION as a preteen child, being captured by armored pirates in a very violent raid.

            CAPTION: When I was a child, I…

            PANEL 3: (flashback) PAIGE ORION as an eighteen-year old, with a katana, in the company of a group of other roguish men and women SPACE RAIDERS in an attack on space-line crew.

            CAPTION: …fell in with bad company. Raiders, and thieves…

            PANEL 4: (flashback) Young PAIGE and SPACE RAIDERS being captured by COURT OF WAR troopers, obviously after a big fight; PAIGE ORION is surrendering with a small group, while others are being slain in/after battle by the troopers. PRINCE OF WAR can be seen leading the COURT OF WAR troops, in his battle armor.

            CAPTION: …the Court of War cut me free from those raiders.

            PANEL 5: (flashback) PAIGE ORION, in COURT OF WAR armor, leading an attack on another merc group, at the front, katana and combat pistol flashing! Very dramatic, dynamic fighting scene!

            CAPTION: …and gave me a place to belong…I was trusted…

            PAGE THREE: (5 Panels)

            PANEL 1: (Small) version of PAGE 2, Panel 1, with PAIGE ORION in zoom view, still sweating, frowning
            CAPTION: …until I got captured.

            PANEL 2: (flashback) PAIGE ORION in a futuristic jail cell, alone. His expression is grim. He is obviously somewhat the worse for wear and tear, somewhat beaten on; outside the cell, a small group of wounded enemy troopers sits, talking to each other and him.

            TROOPER 1
            What’s the penalty fer p’racy, Jarg?

            TROOPER 2
            I think he’s goin’ to suck space!

            TROOPER 1
            Whatta you think, pirate boy?

            CAPTION: My situation was dire and extremely hopeless. It was looking like the end, when-

            PANEL 3: (flashback) Closeup on the TROOPERS from PAGE 3, PANEL 2, as the shadow of VAN EFFEN (who is not in the scene) casts over them; they are all looking up apprehensively, with some alarm and surprise.

            TROOPER 1(quiet, shaky)
            What the ‘ell..?

            TROOPER 2
            Can I help you…sir?

            CAPTION: -fortune caught me up. Sort of.

            PANEL 4: PAGE 2, PANEL 3 from a different view, and we can see who is standing over the TROOPERS, casting the shadow. It is VAN EFFEN, and he’s in combat gear (not space gear), pointing toward the cell containing PAIGE ORION.
            VAN EFFEN
            That man. He goes to me. Now.

            TROOPER 1
            Sir?

            VAN EFFEN
            I got papers on him from your CO. He’s mine.

            CAPTION: Afterwards, he told me ‘you owe me your life.’ I’ve worked for him ever since. Not exactly willingly, but as he said…

            PANEL 5: PAIGE in the present time (see PAGE 2, PANEL 1, only a bit further away) aiming his weapon.

            CAPTION: So who do I shoot?

            PAGE FOUR (5 Panels)

            PANEL 1: (small) a super close up on VAN EFFEN’s face, looking over at (POV) PAIGE ORION

            PANEL 2: (small) a super close up on the PRINCE OF WAR’s face, looking over at (POV) PAIGE ORION

            PANEL 3: PAIGE ORION from PAGE 3, PANEL 5, firing his weapon, grimacing. WEAPON EFX: TakTakTakTakTak!!!

            PANEL 4: (Large) PAGE 1, PANEL 3 POV, as PAIGE ORION’s shots hit the PRINCE OF WAR’s armor on his shoulders and chest (NOT a head hit), as the PRINCE OF WAR dodges into cover desparately

            CAPTION: …Guess I have made my choice…!

            PANEL 5: VAN EFFEN and ORION dodging down a corridor, in retreat, as PRINCE OF WAR TROOPERS with the PRINCE OF WAR behind, are chasing them. ORION and VAN EFFEN are talking. GUN EFX: Brrrrraaap!! TakTakTakTak!!
            VAN EFFEN
            Exit status?

            ORION
            Bay Fifteen, sir!

            PAGE FIVE (4 Panels)

            PANEL 1: ORION and VAN EFFEN running into a cavernous opening labeled ‘15’ as they put on/activate breathing masks. Again, VAN EFFEN is talking to ORION, who is looking actually somewhat happy, as if he hears something that cheers him up.

            VAN EFFEN
            Mission status?

            ORION
            Successful, sir! All files hacked out of their computer system!

            VAN EFFEN
            Excellent.
            CAPTION: …and I thought that was it…but…

            PANEL 2: A small, military shuttle is down in the now opened BAY 15 from PAGE 5, PANEL 1; side door of shuttle is open and there is a door gun covering them as PAIGE ORION and VAN EFFEN run up to it (probably from behind the two..?) VAN EFFEN is talking to ORION. Shuttle EFX: hssssssssss
            VAN EFFEN
            You hesitated.

            ORION
            What?

            VAN EFFEN
            You had a clean shot at the Prince. But you held up.

            VAN EFFEN
            Why?

            PANEL 3: VAN EFFEN looking at ORION after they have boarded the shuttle; in the background we can see that it is clearing Bay 15 and moving out into space.

            ORION
            I-I don’t know what you are talking about-

            VAN EFFEN
            Indeed. I guess that you may not.

            VAN EFFEN
            But know this…

            PANEL 4: same location as PAGE 5, PANEL 3, as the shuttle pulls away from the enemy base. VAN EFFEN staring icily at ORION as he talks, and maybe you can use the starry sky to emphasize the clarity in VAN EFFEN’s expression.
            VAN EFFEN
            …you owe me a death now, Orion.

            CAPTION: …and somehow, I can’t get out of it. One day I am going to pay…

            FIN

            1/15/18

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            • #21
              post mistake. ignore this please

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