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The most important page in my comic and I can't get it right. Suggestions?

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  • The most important page in my comic and I can't get it right. Suggestions?

    ​ Hey, all. This is one of those times when I come to you on my knees for advice. This page is just a little too ambitious for my current skill set, I think. I'm trying to subtly evoke a certain FEELING, like in my favourite manga scenes, and I just don't think I'm getting it.

    I want to evoke concern as they head up the mountain under the gathering storm clouds. I want it to feel ominous. And I want there to be a sense that they're about to be at the mercy of something much bigger than themselves.

    (Also let me know if the RUMBLE sound effect enhances or detracts. There are only going to be two sound effects in this entire story (this page and a page with a lightning strike). I'm hoping that sparing use of sounds makes their occasional use that much more powerful.)

    I've got 8 roughs worked up (basically just changing the character sizes in relation to the background), you can view them here:

    https://drive.google.com/drive/folde...1m?usp=sharing

    (Mods don't want more than 5 images posted, so I'm linking to them Also, it might be useful to view them shrunk down so the image fills your entire screen at once, which you can't really do here.)

    Here are two of the roughs:



    ​​
    Last edited by Joseph Dredd; 11-22-2021, 05:01 PM.

  • #2
    got examples of the scenes you're trying to emulate?
    Check out Film Grouch!

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    Amadarwin's unauthorized, unscathing, unfinished biography.

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    • #3
      I don't know if you've read Uzumaki, but there are a couple scenes where smoke is causing weird ominous cloud formations in the sky. Here's a pic from the live adaptation and one from the manga. Both have a heavy contrast between light and dark in the clouds. The live action one has that watery look, while the manga has blotchy, inky rendering. I think either approach could work for your panel as long as the heavy contrast is there and there is a disconnect between the rendering of the characters (linework, hatching, etc.) and the rendering of the clouds (bold, heavy rendering).



      sketchbook thread

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      • #4
        Okay, I've updated the link to something everyone should be able to access. That link will take you to the 8 roughs I've done trying to find the perfect positioning for what I'm trying to evoke. (But I'm open to changing everything if someone has a better idea.)

        Thank you to the mods for muddling through my mess!


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        • #5
          Originally posted by amadarwin View Post
          got examples of the scenes you're trying to emulate?
          Not off the top of my head, but the thing I love most about Manga is how they'll take an ordinary action, like someone stepping off a curb or drinking a cup of coffee, and make it look like the most dramatic and significant storytelling beat in the entire story.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by battlewraith View Post
            I don't know if you've read Uzumaki, but there are a couple scenes where smoke is causing weird ominous cloud formations in the sky. Here's a pic from the live adaptation and one from the manga. Both have a heavy contrast between light and dark in the clouds. The live action one has that watery look, while the manga has blotchy, inky rendering. I think either approach could work for your panel as long as the heavy contrast is there and there is a disconnect between the rendering of the characters (linework, hatching, etc.) and the rendering of the clouds (bold, heavy rendering).
            I'm going to use photos like this for reference, but kind of running the clouds in a circle because I think it looks spookier (also I want it to look localized, like they're climbing into it. I think it will look a lot like the Uzumaki live adaptation, thanks for posting it! (I love Uzumaki, but I have only read a few things he's done. They make me sooooo uncomfortable, I've never felt that from a comic before or since.)




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