Pages I made bearing in mind my last posts' critiques.

[LEMullin]

Hi! This thing here is five pages of a comic I make, called "The Flight of the Condor." I tried to pay attention to the critiques I got in my first post here, and I think I made some improvements. But who knows. I tried to improve the lighting, line weight, and storytelling.
Critiques are welcome, of course.

[EddieChingLives]

The lettering is pretty close to professional, but the space between the letters and balloons are too cramped. I would suggest making the lettering smaller or balloons bigger. Use lettering reference from your favorite comics to check.

Some of the figures tend to blend in with the background (most notably a character with the forest behind them such as the dude walking, and the introduction of the son.). Some white back light or rim light might help them pop out of the background.

Character consistency is very impressive.

The cartoonish character’s lines look a bit to bulky for my taste. It would be a little more pleasant to see the lines taper from thick to thin. Sometimes you can fake it by doing the “nook and cranny” technique.

You are telling a story effectively with consistent characters and line work, so you are definitely on the right track!

[Giltheartist]

so like batman from wish.com?

[Bryan E.Warner]

I see a Definite Improvement! Keep it up! always be moving forward....Keep That Pencil Busy!

[Joseph Dredd]

The storytelling is fantastic! I'm really impressed, that's really the hardest part.

My only crits:

1. At least three typos.

2. The women don't look young. They look old because there are so many lines on their faces and the face structure itself suggests older women.


I love the art style, tho. It reminds me me of Kevin O'Niell or Tim Sale.

[LEMullin]

The lettering is pretty close to professional, but the space between the letters and balloons are too cramped. I would suggest making the lettering smaller or balloons bigger. Use lettering reference from your favorite comics to check.

Some of the figures tend to blend in with the background (most notably a character with the forest behind them such as the dude walking, and the introduction of the son.). Some white back light or rim light might help them pop out of the background.

Character consistency is very impressive.

The cartoonish character’s lines look a bit to bulky for my taste. It would be a little more pleasant to see the lines taper from thick to thin. Sometimes you can fake it by doing the “nook and cranny” technique.

You are telling a story effectively with consistent characters and line work, so you are definitely on the right track!

Thank you! I made the lettering smaller and it was a big improvement. I'll try to keep in mind the rest of your advice in the stuff I'll start drawing soon.

[LEMullin]

so like batman from wish.com?

Hah! Exactly!

[LEMullin]

I see a Definite Improvement! Keep it up! always be moving forward....Keep That Pencil Busy!

Thanks! I'll try to!

[LEMullin]

The storytelling is fantastic! I'm really impressed, that's really the hardest part.

My only crits:

1. At least three typos.

2. The women don't look young. They look old because there are so many lines on their faces and the face structure itself suggests older women.


I love the art style, tho. It reminds me me of Kevin O'Niell or Tim Sale.

Thanks! I only found 2 typos. They're so hard to find... I eliminated some lines on the women's faces and they do look way younger.

[Bryan E.Warner]

Got it..an here I am in a different thread...Yes Viewers,,a time trip.