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Angler debut issue assortment

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  • Angler debut issue assortment

    So here's an assortment of pages I've been working on! This'll be printed in about a month, so check it out folks!
    Page 1:

    page 2:
    http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/20...snickerson.jpg
    Page 5:

    Page 7:

    Page 8:

    Page 11:

    Page 12:

  • #2
    C&C folks?

    I'd love some comments folks! Do you like the pages? See something wrong? Suggestions? I know they're broken sequentials, but I can't actually post them sequentially until it's finished. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller!?

    Comment


    • #3
      That's really good. I like the level of detail, especially the weapons and vehicles. Nice work!

      -S
      SPYING WITH LANA

      Comment


      • #4
        Nice level of detail. The backgrounds are convincing. Good perspective. The figures are sometimes twisted and joints don't connect like they should. Wrinkles aren't done well. Storytelling is pretty good until the last panel, where I can't tell what happened.

        PAGE 1
        Panel one - Bad cropping and composition. My eye is led to the back of an impossibly thin guy in a thin doorway creating a tangent.

        Panel two - Is this the same group as panel one? There are five here and four in the previous panel. The kid(?) look silk a midget and the guy holding him looks awkward and disconnected as if his limbs are broken. Foreshortening is bad on these two yet surprisingly good on the guy in the middle of the panel.

        Panel three - Who is this guy and what is he shooting at? He doesn't match anyone we've seen in panel 2.

        Panel four - Hmm… they looked like lovebirds holding hands in panel 2 and now… well I guess the honeymoon is over. Bad cropping, you lost a chance at anise dramatic shot of gun being pointed.

        PAGE 5
        Panel one - Now another guy has the woman? When did this happen? Kid is wildly out of proportion to the guy holding him.

        Panel two - Bad cropping on guy in foreground. His arms and hands not drawn well and gun looks very skinny.

        Panel three - two guy sporty cropped and framing nothing very interesting to see.

        PAGE 7

        Weak splash page. I didn't realize until just before I typed this that a blade is in the middle of the page. Nothing in the guy's pose suggests he threw it. He looks like he is grabbing air.

        Where are we at by the way. This hole doesn't match what we've seen before. It's in a corner near a window.

        What is the guy on the floor doing?

        The foreground guy's hand is very distorted and too large.

        PAGE 8
        Panel one - Nice helicopters. Some tangents create confusion with the buildings.

        Panel two - This is your best panel.

        Panel four - You need some reference for a guy getting out of a helicopter. This looks awkward.

        PAGE 11
        Panel 1 - Kid finally looks like he has kid proportions. Tangents with the foreground hand and elements behind it. At fairest glance this looks like two panels because there is a line down the middle.

        PAGE 12
        Panel one - Bad composition and cropping.

        Panel two - His chin should not be resting on the panel bottom.

        Panels three and four - Looks like you distorted the faces to fit the shapes of the panels so now they look squashed.

        Panel four - Oh I think I get it. This supposed to be smoke and he just vanished? Where did the smoke come from? I thought it was some kind of foam or insulation. It never looked like smoke to me.
        Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

        Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

        Comment


        • #5
          Awesome job on the helicopters and weapons! Very nicely done.
          Some of the action seems a bit confusing to me and maybe a little crammed (which I have a tendency to do also).

          Overall, good job.

          Who is publishing it?

          David

          Comment

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