Inks in the mist

[LEMullin]

Hello everyone,
I've been drawing a story that takes place in a misty atmosphere. Literally.
I didn't put the dialogues because they're still not finished and also because I would like you to tell me if you can follow the story without them.
Hope you're all doing well,
Luis.

[humble-tomato]

The bird face panel is confusing to me. Is it the girl's perspective of the man? If it is, it doesn't really connect with the previous panel.

[LEMullin]

The bird face panel is confusing to me. Is it the girl's perspective of the man? If it is, it doesn't really connect with the previous panel.

Yes, it's the girl's perspective of the man. You're right. I don't know how to make it work.

[humble-tomato]

I would say show her looking at the man, then show the bird face. But I think the bird face's neck pose should be roughly the same as the normal man's pose. Right now it looks like the bird is tilting the head down.

[LEMullin]

Okay, I get it. I think I'll give it a shot. Thanks!

[Bryan E.Warner]

is it misty an warm?....usually in my part of the world..if it's misty ( Foggy ) it's Cold...every one looks like they are dressed for summer till the jacket on page 5...just my first thoughts...

[LEMullin]

is it misty an warm?....usually in my part of the world..if it's misty ( Foggy ) it's Cold...every one looks like they are dressed for summer till the jacket on page 5...just my first thoughts...

Yes, I too guess it's usually cold when it's foggy. This one's a supernatural fog, though. A fog created by an evil demon.

[Bryan E.Warner]

Yes, I too guess it's usually cold when it's foggy. This one's a supernatural fog, though. A fog created by an evil demon.

I see...well Keep That Pencil Busy!

[LEMullin]

I would say show her looking at the man, then show the bird face. But I think the bird face's neck pose should be roughly the same as the normal man's pose. Right now it looks like the bird is tilting the head down.

I guess I got it right. Tell me what you think.

[Bryan E.Warner]

Much Better

[humble-tomato]

That works better, I think.

But, here is how I imagined.. I thought seeing the girl looking at the man was important as it's only her perspective.


or...something like this?

[LEMullin]

That works better, I think.

But, here is how I imagined.. I thought seeing the girl looking at the man was important as it's only her perspective.


or...something like this?

Ok, I see. Your solutions are both very good, very clear. Thank you!
Is there any storytelling book that you could recommend me? I struggle with it much of the time.

[LEMullin]

Much Better

Thanks, Bryan!

[humble-tomato]

Is there any storytelling book that you could recommend me? I struggle with it much of the time.

I'm afraid not. I tried looking and buying books when I was starting out as a storyboard artist, but I found studying comics, films, animations and trying out making mistakes are the best way.
As your mideum is comic, when you read your favourite comics, trying to see what the script might have been, and what challeges there might have been, and how the problem solving was made might help. Just do it casually, hopefully over time they will become yours.

[Bryan E.Warner]

Think of it as your doing a Silent Movie...no narration..your reader has to know whats going on with out telling...

[LEMullin]

Think of it as your doing a Silent Movie...no narration..your reader has to know whats going on with out telling...

I try to do it, but it's not easy!