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First Time Writing and Drawing

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  • First Time Writing and Drawing

    So, I've finished one project with writer Justin Kyle, "Extrasensory", but the project below is one that I did on my own(although the lettering was done by my friend, and fellow indie comicbook up and comer Matt Garvey, who is an amazing writer). I'll be the first to admit that I've got some points to work on, but I would like to share these pages with you all of my short form comic, " Pieces". Feedback is always welcome, because I'm always aiming to improve













    Joseph Nathan Smith
    Penciler, Inker, and Colors
    [email protected]
    www.Facebook.com/straypen

  • #2
    Hi there! Thanks for sharing your work, it's always fun to see indie comics in all their variety.

    A couple of things I noticed:

    Try to be a bit more committed to your coloring style, either let it be very intentionally watercolor-esque in terms of bleeding and blending or more solid (within the lines). Traditional coloring styles really offset inking styles as well, so if you have the capability in your program, try playing around with feathering and opacity in your line quality. The lines feel a bit too straightforward and "computer", if that makes sense.

    I would love to see more development of the opening scene. As a viewer, I really have no reason to care about this woman, she barely says anything, mostly generic bland stuff. Why do we like her? Why do we want the main character to be able to return to her side? Maybe one more page would help to round out the dialogue and relationship between these two. I want to get the feels when I think about these lovers wrenched apart beyond their dimension.'

    The group of scientists/ generals(?) and the lab feels a little vague as well. I'm not sure if they are meant to be creepy, political, alien, college students, experts in their field, militaristic, or an independent research facility. Maybe a question response to the claim that the sequence was a success (i.e. "How do you explain the recent (X) incident?" or something) instead of each character praising the scene might give us more of a clue as to who these folks are and how to feel about them.

    Interesting concepts all around, looking forward to seeing how it develops!

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    • #3
      All of your advice is tremendously helpful, and, although I only initially intended the work to be kind of an experiment in writing and drawing my own work, as opposed to just doing art for other people's work, its because of feedback like yours that I believe I'll put more work into it, and extend the art/story.

      Thank you.

      Joseph Nathan Smith
      Penciler, Inker, and Colors
      [email protected]
      www.Facebook.com/straypen

      Comment


      • #4
        Please do! There is a lot of potential here, I can't wait to see where you take it next

        Comment

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