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    "disunity" Issue 2 page 1

    Read my webcomic, "1980"

    My Deviant Art page

  • #2
    wow this looks really cool that city in the distance looks interesting.
    Robert Ahmad
    http://bedtime143.deviantart.com/

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    • #3
      Really cool. Theres a few things that could make this better. I would put some fog/clouds over part of the bottom of the globe city to make it seem like its further in the background. Make it transparent so you dont lose the details of the globe. Right now the city doesnt seem as massive as it should be.
      Also, the birds dont work. Theres a slight over lap over the city but not enough to suggest they r closer to us than the city. The lack of detail on the birds doesnt make sense since there's detail on the city and that is further back.
      Raised as a babe in drawing arenas to become the art warrior that I am today.

      http://gunkstudios.tumblr.com/


      Pummel: lightheavy weight rank- wins-27 losses-20 KO-11

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      • #4
        Nice work!

        The only thing that I'd lend as a critique is that cropping flying objects tends to ground them or kill their sense of motion. The ship and the birds, would have adjusted their placement and their scale to keep them on canvas.
        See my work on Game of Thrones seasons two, three and four blurays
        DeviantArt

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        • #5
          I dig this a lot, Ron! I'd suggest a coloring change though, if you're up to revisit that. (or even if you just draw this kind of scene again)

          It looks like the globe the city is built on is glowing blue? I can't quite tell, but if it is (the white center and the way the blue bleeds into the buildings makes me think so), you've got a contrast issue that's fighting you. it looks like you also have the sun in the sky behind the city- that bright white light is going to overpower any glowing element in the scene, no matter what. I'd suggest changing the sky so the sun isn't in the composition at all, and changing the sky from blue to anything else so that the blue of the city-globe is more eye-catching.

          I really dig this scene as a whole, though. Good work!
          Downer IllustrationTumblrTwitterDeviantArtDracula The Unconquered

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          • #6
            Thanks for all the feedback guys.

            Here's an updated version of the page:


            Still working on a few things here and there (like bringing a little of the sky color into the other elements), but I think it's close to the finished version.
            Read my webcomic, "1980"

            My Deviant Art page

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            • #7
              Looks really good! I love science fiction.
              The biggest mistake people make in life is not trying to make a living at doing what they most enjoy.

              ---Malcolm Forbes

              My website

              Never .jpeg a .jpeg

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              • #8
                I really like the spaceship flying through/emerging from the clouds!

                Only thing, to change IMO is the most foreground building on the planet, it´s missing the right perspective, somehow.
                You could tweak that by rising the building , instead of drawing a new one.

                Great colors!

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                • #9
                  One way to balance a composition is not having elements of the same size fighting for atention, the city and the ship, one of those should be made smaller, IMHO.
                  Middlweight | W:6 L:0 KOs:4 | Streetfights: W:2 L:0 kOs:1
                  LightHeavies | W:7| L :3 KOs: ​6
                  http://nabisga.deviantart.com/gallery/

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                  • #10
                    Finally finished with this page… i think.

                    Read my webcomic, "1980"

                    My Deviant Art page

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                    • #11
                      Anybody wondering how to take crits and turn them into fantastic improvement, take notes.

                      Now that's ​a chapter header.
                      Dino Nebitt
                      LHW: 3W-1L-0KO
                      SF: 1W-1L-1KO

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