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  • commission

    Here is a $50 commission for someone and their original character 11x17

    http://benjonesart.deviantart.com/


    PUMMEL STATS: 6 wins | 6 losses | 4 KOs
    Whatever, im not listening!

  • #2
    I really like that you attempted a challenging angle and perspective.

    The main thing that's bothering me is that cropped leg. It looks dislocated. The knee pointed inward that way... very painful looking.
    See my work on Game of Thrones seasons two, three and four blurays
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    • #3
      Yeah, other than that one twisted leg, I'm digging this. It's a tough perspective, so kudos for pulling it off.
      My Deviant Art page
      My PUMMEL stats
      PUMMEL stats: 61 wins | 58 losses | 31 KOs
      2 Time Heavyweight Champion
      Light Heavyweight Commissioner

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      • #4
        You know something was throwing me off on the pic but I just couldn't figgure what the hell was wrong and I think you guys might have nailed it. I looked looked and looked and just couldn't get lol. Well at least the commissioner loved it so im happy enough with the product.
        http://benjonesart.deviantart.com/


        PUMMEL STATS: 6 wins | 6 losses | 4 KOs
        Whatever, im not listening!

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        • #5
          Yeah, if they were happy, then it's all good.

          There's no perfect piece out there, but it's always good to double check with others to see if your eye is missing something.
          My Deviant Art page
          My PUMMEL stats
          PUMMEL stats: 61 wins | 58 losses | 31 KOs
          2 Time Heavyweight Champion
          Light Heavyweight Commissioner

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          • #6
            I really like the angle you got here, very strong image. I think if you took the ledge she's stepping on and overlapped her foot with it, you would see it looks like we are actually looking up at her. The face looks plain and uninteresting, maybe because it's so simple or too simple, looks awkward with the rest of her body. And her hair does not look like hair to me, it does not flow like hair, looks like long grass or something stiff. Hope these crits help, Your work is impressive please keep it up!
            https://www.facebook.com/MorganzaX

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            • #7
              Those extreme angles are so hard to pull off but you did it well! I agree about the leg and face but overall it's a darn nice job. A little tweaking before inks would have been great. I think the issue I'm having with the face is it looks almost like manga while the rest of the body looks more realistic. As far as the leg, below the knee should be turned to match the top or vice versa. I love the environment.
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              • #8
                Hey, Ben!

                Pretty decent idea for a layout! I like the POV shot, but you probably went a little overboard on a few things. If you're doing a wormseye POV, it's not likely that you would also need to resort to using an image tilt. That's rather extreme, and unnecessary. Too much of a double gimmick, in my opinion. The wormseye POV will add enough visual interest as is. If you feel like you absolutely need two gimmicks in one image though, I think you would have been better off with a slight image tilt. This layout makes your viewer's work too much to see your drawing. That's unfortunate, because your drawings is pretty decent for the most part.

                Her head is placed too far back on her spine. I saw this sort of thing a lot in comics drawn in the 1990s. If you draw the head too far back it sort of looks like the spine and head aren't aligned properly, and that gives the figure an unnatural and stiff look. If you move her head forward a little more, and make her head tilt a little less severe, you'll have a much more believable drawing.

                Her lower left leg is too short for this extreme POV. Since it is close to the "camera", it needs to be larger and longer.

                Her right arm probably needs to be a trifle longer also.

                Don't overdo the details on the Moon. All that hatching does this drawing no favors because the extra details distract the viewers from your figure. It's pretty simple. What is more important for the readers to look at? The figure (your subject) or the Moon? The figure has to be the area of highest contrast and importance, and your figure shouldn't have to fight with background elements for attention. It would have been better to keep the details of the Moon simple.

                Your inking is pretty good, Ben! Love her hair, and you have some nice textures on the mountains, and nice, thin lines on the clouds! The only thing I'm not digging is her face. It looks just a little flat. A lot of that is in the drawing, not the inking, but it's always a good idea to do what you can in the inking stages to help achieve more dimension and depth. A few shadows might help, or a little better basic drawing on the head. Right now her eyes are WAY too far apart, and that is causing a lot of the flatness. It also looks a little odd, because most of the time human beings have eyes that are spaced approximately one eye length apart. Your character's eyes appear to be one and a half to two eye lengths apart. That makes her face seem kind of odd. Be careful with facial details like that.

                The wrinkles in her sash are rather weird. They don't seem at all natural looking.

                I worked up a Photoshop overlay for you, Ben, and I hope you'll find it helpful. I drew the figure rather quickly, but you should be able to make things out. I spun the figure around so that it's vertical, making it little more convenient to see my visual suggestions. There are also a few notes as well, summarizing a few things. I hope my overlay will be benefit you, Ben. You picked a very tough angle to draw a figure, and for the most part, you did very well with it. Most artists struggle with this kind of Point Of View shot. I can't think of a tougher angle to draw a figure, and I admire artists who have the courage to tackle it. One of the things that artists have to do in order to improve their skills is to tackle the tough stuff. I'm glad to see you doing that!

                Hope this helps, dude!



                Loston
                Last edited by Bruce Lee; 04-16-2012, 01:18 PM.
                http://www.lostonwallace.com
                http://lostonwallace.deviantart.com


                I HAVE A NEW WEBSITE NOW!! FINALLY!! SHOW ME SOME LOVE, & CHECK IT OUT:
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                • #9


                  - Alrik
                  Last edited by alrik; 06-15-2012, 03:29 AM.

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                  • #10
                    Bruce Lee, you give some of the most thorough, helpful critiques that I've ever seen. Just wanted to say thanks for that.

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                    • #11
                      Whew anyone else feel all the air rush out of the room, it wasn't the air just my ego so nevermind the crashing noise down the hallway.

                      All jokes aside I can see where you guys are coming from and Bruce, damn son I haven't had a smash down like that since art school years and years ago. I can see where your coming from in most of those instances, with the exception of the lean I just love doing that but I do understand the problems associated with doing that. Well looks like a close but no cigar on this one, just have to better on the next time i try this angle which is a beast to do. Not sure on how many revisions I had trying to get it right and still failed lol.
                      http://benjonesart.deviantart.com/


                      PUMMEL STATS: 6 wins | 6 losses | 4 KOs
                      Whatever, im not listening!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by kevinwolff View Post
                        Bruce Lee, you give some of the most thorough, helpful critiques that I've ever seen. Just wanted to say thanks for that.
                        WORD!

                        ~BoS
                        PUMMEL LHW: 16 wins | 13 losses | 1 tie | 12 ko's | 0 no shows


                        DA

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by benjonesart View Post
                          ...Not sure on how many revisions I had trying to get it right and still failed lol.
                          I see no failure here at all man. Great attempt that will just make your next piece that much better. Keep up the good work!

                          ~BoS
                          PUMMEL LHW: 16 wins | 13 losses | 1 tie | 12 ko's | 0 no shows


                          DA

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by benjonesart View Post
                            Whew anyone else feel all the air rush out of the room, it wasn't the air just my ego so nevermind the crashing noise down the hallway.

                            All jokes aside I can see where you guys are coming from and Bruce, damn son I haven't had a smash down like that since art school years and years ago. I can see where your coming from in most of those instances, with the exception of the lean I just love doing that but I do understand the problems associated with doing that. Well looks like a close but no cigar on this one, just have to better on the next time i try this angle which is a beast to do. Not sure on how many revisions I had trying to get it right and still failed lol.
                            It was an honest critique, not a "smash down", Ben. That's what the laboratory boards on PJ are for. Regarding the tilt--that's sort of a matter of taste, for sure. As artists, we often draw things to simply suit our own personal preferences. That's a good thing, but I think it's a good idea to consider your viewers as well. The tilt and the extreme POV together just seems a little over the top to me when either one would suffice.

                            As for that angle, you did pretty well, I think, but as I mentioned, it's just not the easiest angle to pull off. Veteran comic artists struggle with it, so I wouldn't sweat it. Gene Colan was a master of POV shots. He constantly used wormseye POVs in his work, so I recommend checking out some of the comics he drew. You might find that helpful. His issues of TOMB OF DRACULA, DAREDEVIL, DOCTOR STRANGE, NIGHT FORCE, BATMAN, WONDER WOMAN, and JEMM, SON OF SATURN, and NATHANIEL DUSK, I highly recommend.

                            You know, with every drawing there's going to be successes and failures. The thing to remember is that failure can be a good thing if your learn from it, and it keeps you from making the same mistakes in the future. Looking at your drawing skills, the layout, the nice inking you do, and your willingness to take a few risks, I'd say your work is likely to continue to get better and better. I hope you will continue to share your progress with all of us here on PJ.
                            http://www.lostonwallace.com
                            http://lostonwallace.deviantart.com


                            I HAVE A NEW WEBSITE NOW!! FINALLY!! SHOW ME SOME LOVE, & CHECK IT OUT:
                            http://www.lostonwallace.com

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                            • #15
                              No doubt man I appreciated you giving it to me straight and not BS me with fluffy crap. And don't mind me man ive been drawing for a long time and never gave up, its in my make up to get better and better. Hell im not even looking for a serious return, this is just a passion and love for me to sit down and create cool stuff with pencil and paper. I take every comment to heart, judge it and try to use it to get better.

                              Kinda funny im sitting there studying your overdraw, which I printed out btw, and placed it directly next to the piece then pulled out another piece of paper to see how it felt when drawing it the way you did. I noticed a few other things I didn't like in a very critical light so its all good. Never be afraid to crit anything I do because im always watching and listening even when you guys don't see it =
                              http://benjonesart.deviantart.com/


                              PUMMEL STATS: 6 wins | 6 losses | 4 KOs
                              Whatever, im not listening!

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