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  • Bodybags!

    http://www.mikebowden.deviantart.com/
    Last edited by mikebowden; 10-24-2012, 04:59 AM.

  • #2
    I like the figures and the rendering, but boy, does she ever get lost in the big guy's torso.
    My Deviant Art page
    My PUMMEL stats
    PUMMEL stats: 61 wins | 58 losses | 31 KOs
    2 Time Heavyweight Champion
    Light Heavyweight Commissioner

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    • #3
      I love a ton about this piece. The characters look great. Nice crisp pencils. The composition is problematic as Juggertha pointed out. There is no focus, and the female is hidden.
      Request an invite here to join a great facebook art critique group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/327854080642752/


      http://www.uggabugga.net/forum

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      • #4
        Mike great picture here. I can definitely see some influence of MAD! and Ramos here but not aping. I think the best parts of this image is 1 how you spotted your blacks. they help define and not muddy the image they ground each character with a solid lightsource. 2 you have great energy. which is accomplished by being tight where you need to be and knowing when to loosen up and break out of that and this is a great example of that. great gestures to the characters as well.

        As it has been mentioned she gets lost. From a contrast point of view her black shirt against his black shirt and skin over light pants but more importantly composition wise look at the silhouette of the figures. I took this into mspaint for forgive the crude nature but it should serve the purpose. She doesnt exist. I try to check my silhouettes for my comps.

        "A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still."

        Never argue with an Idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with exp.

        http://toddoss.deviantart.com/

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        • #5
          That is an extremely well done piece of work. Very much captures Jason's vibe look and feel.
          ‎"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Albert Einstein

          http://www.wix.com/ray_gun_monkey_art/criticalmassart

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          • #6
            Great pic, nice energy. I really like how you handled Mack's figure for the most part. His right calf and ankle look really thin, especially considering there's some loose fabric over them. For a guy who's build like a tank, they come across as somewhat spindly.

            Panda's guns are huge, and she's not even completely holding one of them. Desert Eagles are cool, but there aren't many people really dual wield them, and even then they get a lot of kick on full sized men. You also omitted the slide and shortened the barrels, which makes them look even more like little cannons. I think that's why Pearson has a glock as Panda's signature weapon, and typically shows her using her off hand to stabilize.

            That aside, to add a bit of excitement to them you may also want to show one of them with the slide ejecting the shell, it's more dramatic than just having the big muzzle flare because it feels kinetic to the viewer.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlMHGp5XmnI

            The last thing that I noticed is there isn't a defined flow to the motions of the figures. The blood spatter implies Mack's arm is sweeping up, but his posture and the shifting of weight off his left foot implies his body is moving downwards. With nothing around them to move relative to, it drains the pose of it's power. Panda's pompoms make it look as if she's falling backwards, but the back of her skirt doesn't jive with it. The overall gentle wafting of it gives the impression of the apex of a jump upwards, and her hair sweeps as if she's moving to the viewers right. All of it looks cool, but none of it adds a coherent direction to her movement so she's just sort of there.

            Sorry if it comes across as nitpicking, but you have a very strong grasp of what your doing already, so I'm just offering small suggestions that make help to push your images further. I absolutely love the weight of Mack and the face on Panda btw.
            it’s as if he figured that sheer repetition would wear them down, forcing them to submit to his strange, incompetent genius.

            Pummel: W 11 | L 5 | KO 8
            Rank: LHW

            http://elamin.daportfolio.com/

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            • #7
              Now, that's purty. I see Jugg's point, though.
              Money can't buy you happiness, but it will pay for the search.

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              • #8
                I like your style, Mike! While I agree with the previous compositional critiques, I hope to see more of your work here on PJ in the near future!
                HW(ret.):W42/ L29/KO16

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                • #9
                  classis descriptions

                  Do you do any sequential stuff?

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                  • #10
                    I got nothing to add other than nice lines and thanks for posting.
                    Fresh Droppings | Sketch Blog

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                    • #11
                      Thanks for the critique and nice comments too. Especially Solace! that was really in-depth. I'm going to pay a lot more attention to composition, movement and the details like the guns from here on. You're spot on about everything you said so I'm glad I showed this to get feedback. Sometimes working in isolation it can slow down your learning as you don't get that constant critique that you need to improve.thanks again guys.

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