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  • Sun God

    This is TRI/P 71. It's called Sun God.



    Tools: pen & inkt, markers, colored pens, coffee
    The netherlands are not a part of scandinavia !

    www.flickr.com/photos/jasperrrrietman

  • #2
    Nice idea - but took a bit of working out, IMO.

    The middle panel is clearly meant to show that the pyramid has been built so high that it is as high as the sun -- but the fact that we are viewing it as a 'close up' really detracts from the sense of 'grand scale' that would have helped with the flow of the storytelling.

    So, yeah, nice idea -- but a bit off with your flow and scale.
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    • #3
      SUN GOD!
      SUN GOD!
      HE IS THE ONE GOD!
      RA! RA! RA!

      I suspect what throws off the scale is that figure in the middle. Not only is he presented as more dominant than the sun itself in that frame, but he also breaks that really graphic thing you've got going on in the other two, so that calls even more attention. Otherwise it works, although I had to look a couple of times to really get the joke.
      "Skill is the result of trying again and again, applying our ability and proving our knowledge as we gain it." - Andrew Loomis
      My Sketchbook

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Nezumi Works View Post
        I suspect what throws off the scale is that figure in the middle. Not only is he presented as more dominant than the sun itself in that frame.......
        Yes. This could be right.
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        • #5
          Thanks for the constructive critisism! It's true that i had some difficulties determining the scale of the different elements; the builders, the pyramid and the sun. I wanted the sun to still feel big in the second panel, which is why i added the small figure towing the block towards it. But the scale in relation with the larger figure at the front, which i added for a more human, less detached feel, is off. Originally i wanted the 3 panels to be just 3 stages in the building of the pyramid, like how the 3th panel looks now. But that is something i've done quite a few times with these little 3 panel comics and i'm trying to change it up a bit, to keep the 3 panel thing interesting.

          That said, i am really fond of how the 2nd panel turned out. I think it looks the best of the 3.

          But yeah, scale and size were difficult to get right in this one. I agree that it makes it a bit hard to read.
          The netherlands are not a part of scandinavia !

          www.flickr.com/photos/jasperrrrietman

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          • #6
            Is there really anything to get? This one seems pretty straightforward compared to your others.
            SB!FBTrMABP: 10W-11L-7K.O

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