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Would YOU buy this book?

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  • #31
    Again, thank you all for the crits and comments. I really need to post more often in the finished work section, but I've had my own insane time constraints so I know I haven't had time to redo anything, though learning from you guys always helps the next piece. I have a special thank you to the penciljack community in this preview issue for all the help you guys have given me over the past two years I've been here. Really, this book exists because you guys helped hone my skill and give me confidence. Keep it up! I'm looking forward to kicking butt in the name of PJ.

    Seriously, these crits are awesome.
    Cheers, Alex


    • #32
      Originally posted by teratophile View Post
      the "redo" i posted up there was the original. I had no idea the time frame of when it was supposed to be completed so it went from flats to that. There was a rush to get it printed before the con.

      I think photobucket made everything muddier and changed the color for some reason? It looked crisper initially. Even when alex made adjustments it looked relatively crisp opposed to the cover image at the top of the page.

      Paul, i used the color slider and came up with a similar color scheme...but decided against it. I do like what you did with the city.
      Do as I say.
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      • #33
        Fine. fine.
        Pummel: Wins: 35|Losses: 9|Knockouts: 26|Months Champion:7


        • #34
          looks a bit generic but i think better (dirtier) color can save this. think dan brown.


          • #35
            As far as marketing goes, I am going to echo a statement initiated by Necenarro. This is a great piece and a great cover, but I don't necessarily think it should be your 1st issue cover (I'm talking the actual 1st issue and not the preview issue.) For me, it actually works better as a preview piece "freebie" to be handed out at conventions (or bought at a signing table.) I even think the "Special Preview Issue" tag will help a lot simply because the mindset of a reader, publisher, etc. at a convention is different than your local comic shop. The convention is all about trying new things, getting an autograph from the creator, etc., so your audience will shell out the bucks to have you and your writer's name on it. However, at a comic shop you'll need to hook them with a cover that absolutely hasn't been done before or is intriguing enough for the average Joe to thumb through it.

            For some reason, I'm reminded of the Suicide Squad from the 80's. Take a look at the covers here:


            SS Issue #1 is pretty staid. Nothing's happening except for some headshots and text... but man, tell me you wouldn't want to pick it up and read it? Then take a look at Issue #2 (a helicopter shot as well!) Now we're starting to see the action shots on the covers.

            Issue #1 (different than your cover for the convention IMO,) must be iconic. Think Suicide Squad, think Justice League International (with the "Wanna make something of it?" cover) and even think Wolverine #1 (original limited series w/blades out, finger gesturing to "come here!") All iconic with no real action to speak of, but tons and tons of attitude.

            One possible idea? How about a group shot of a bunch of villains (with baseball bats, chains, guns, mob-types or "super") and the Falcon's battered helmet on the ground before them with the words, "In the corrupt and violent Sun City, the toughest gang lords, enforcers, hitmen and prostitutes all have one thing in common... they all just declared war on the Brass Falcon..."

            Okay, that cover may or may not work and granted, I doubt Brass Falcon will actually get his ass handed to him in the 1st issue, but you get the point.

            Hope this helps with the marketing.


            • #36
              Cover: I 'm fine with this image, I feel it as a cover. I grew up reading comics where the cover approach was very similar so for me it is not a "big panel" or not issue 1 introduction's a cover where you show the main character in a good way in action. (think at the first Spidey, DD, cap covers).

              Nowadays cover approach and taste is changed a lot (and I like it) think at the work Dave Johonson is doing for istance introducing graphic elements and so on, but I understood BF spirit is more linked to a past comic period

              The image is cool and above all you've been smart to put in the drawing your best strengths as drawing human anatomy.

              Comic potential selling: I really don't know, but what it's important is that you understand very well which your drivers are. I drew 22 pages + cover of Sgt Zero for free, so if you think about it can be considered not a smart move (and it could be), but in my main drivers earnings was not at top priority. The experience I did drawing a book , tuning my style and creating a professional sample I can show to the publisher have been part of my main drivers.
              The book didn't sell bad, but Anthony really did a huge Internet campaign very time consuming, so I think if your main priority is selling it won't be so easy.

              Just my opinion Alex
              Simone Guglielmini


              • #37
                Again, thank you all for the continued advice and insight. I might have been drawing for years, but my experience really producing for comics is limited and I'm absorbing everything you guys are throwing at me.

                I put a little more work into the cover using some of the advice given here. It may have thrown us off a bit time wise (we're cutting things VERY close), but I think it was worth it. I also think I found a way around the photobucket color issue, so here's the cover final:

                I'm still not 100% pleased, but then, I never am. Your crits have made me realize this isn't a good image for a premier issue, but it's what we're stuck with for now. It would be different if folks knew who Brass Falcon was, but whatever. Too late to lament about it and it does me no good. I know for the next cover.
                Cheers, Alex


                • #38
                  Hey - much improved!
                  Writer/Artist: Urban Shogun

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                  Urban Shogun #3 is now available!


                  • #39

                    I get where you're coming on time and product not matching up, ideally for me BF would be more "iconic" pose/action, but I think you get that. Good luck to you guys at the Con!
                    PUMMEL Stats * PUMMEL Spreadsheet
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                    • #40
                      looks much better. i can see the lines better, also. and the logo is not so bright blue anymore.
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                      • #41
                        pretty cool.
                        haven't read the whole thread, but on this last image, i would switch on the moon a bit more, he is not bright enough for my taste.
                        But, that is just me.
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                        • #42
                          I'd agree pretty strongly with Beastie's comment about the brass/gold outline and the logo. I would be very interested to see the original colors, obviously. Computers can **** with that? Are you sure its photobucket and not some other problem? Cause it seems odd it would mess with the colors that much. But then, I'm not expert one way or the other.

                          The logo specifically lacks a lot of professionalism. The font, the generic center gradient highlight -- it reeks of "I didn't put as much effort into this as I did the rest of it." That said, I have pretty specific taste when it comes to design, just like I do art.

                          Not on a technical level, but just in terms of what it is, I would not knock someone over to get to this, no. It reminds me of any ole' superhero book. Nothing makes me perk up and pay attention. Which is, granted, my personal opinion of non-Marvel/DC/well known creator-owned superhero books. I don't care about reading a story I could find in one of those books, but as written/drawn by creators I know and feature characters I know.

                          And while you can make the argument that I shouldn't judge it that way, the fact that the character is a superhero is by no means enough to get me to buy something. And that's all I'm getting here. What I assume I will get from this issue is a guy flying/jumping around, punching some generically written gangsters/villains, and generally doing superhero-y things. And while that may be enough of a hook for some, its not enough for me. I need to know what the story is, the premise of the book that, as a story, sets it apart from any other story. Not who the main character is.

                          Keep in mind I respect the crap out of your work, and you're one of my favorite talents on this board. And I'm judging a book by its cover.

                          EDIT: Just noticed the most recent posted art. And it defintely holds together better as a composition and with the colors. That said my points on subject matter and the design of the logo still hold true, in my opinion. Minus the comment on the gradient.
                          Colorist on Secret from Image Comics. Also writer/artist of sh*t they don't pay me to do.

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Beastie View Post

                            Having said that, if I cover up the title logo with my hand -- the character, the background and the brass frame all gel together much better. So it is perhaps the bold and bright saturation of the title logo that's throwing things out of whack?
                            I spotted that right off the go. The title just didn't have the same feel at the rest of the page. I'd consider re-working it.
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