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Swordsman Redux

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  • Swordsman Redux

    Hey guys, I've decided to try to get back into the groove of art making and posting, so here's a redo of a pic I did back in Fall '08:


    the Original




    The Redo




    Honest C&C welcome, more to come soon.
    Sorry, no time to talk. I'm busy drawing my books and stories! ;P

    dA:

    sadman2000.deviantart.com

    My Blog:

    http://www.penciljack.com/forum/show...?t=71674<br />

  • #2
    I really like your composition and mood including the badass expression on his face.

    I don't have a major problem with the upper body other than it is a bit stiff...

    The real issue for me is with the legs. The seem to be turned at odd angles to each other and the right knee looks like it hurts. I would definitely study your anatomy a wee bit more paying close attention to the legs... and not just with anatomy books... look at sports photos and see how the legs move in extreme conditions.

    I really do like the feel of this as well as your use of lineweights to define the character... I am more forgiving than most on anatomy, however so there will probably be more stiff commentary... but the guys who give it really know what they are talking about.
    Goonies never say die!

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    • #3
      Hella kewl!!!!

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      • #4
        I thought the right hand looked awkward holding the item. Maybe its the special design of the item in hand but it just seems like he's holding it wrong and in doing so it fired by accident, does that make sense?
        "Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing" ~ B.F.

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        • #5
          Hey guys, thanks! I decided to take your guys input (glad you like it Dave) and apply it to an updated piece. Also here's a quick diagram on how Swordsman's weapon works; it's currently in Grapple/Impaler mode.




          Again, honest crits' and comments are ALWAYS welcome!


          Thanks!
          Sorry, no time to talk. I'm busy drawing my books and stories! ;P

          dA:

          sadman2000.deviantart.com

          My Blog:

          http://www.penciljack.com/forum/show...?t=71674<br />

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          • #6
            Anything guys? I do want improve as always!
            Sorry, no time to talk. I'm busy drawing my books and stories! ;P

            dA:

            sadman2000.deviantart.com

            My Blog:

            http://www.penciljack.com/forum/show...?t=71674<br />

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            • #7
              Whats he stepping in or on?

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              • #8
                are those planets behind him? because his foot is casting a shadow towards us meaning the face of those planets should be shaded. what is he about to impale?
                "when there's no more room in hell...the dead will walk the earth."

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                • #9
                  Hmm. Okay, I preferred the face in the first one a lot more. But then, I'm a big fan of over-exaggerated facial expressions.

                  As for the rest, I'm not keen on the arms. They look very stiff & static. I'd say bend both arms just a little bit, so that he isn't locking his elbows so badly. It'll look more organic that way, and look less like he's in pain grappling those missiles.

                  Er, wait... oh, are those things his weapon? Okay, that explains why the vapour trails connect. But even then, it still looks like he snagged a pair of missiles mid-air and redirected them toward the reader, which makes sense given the way the vapour trail is going. What I mean is, if he threw the thing, his left arm should be thrown to the left side of his body, not his right. Otherwise, it looks like he just held it in place for a while to build up its kinetic energy, then simply let it go. Aside from his lower half and the 'missile' in the foreground, there's little movement here. So again, it lacks an organic quality.

                  Lastly, is he meant to be topless? If so, then that's okay, but if he's supposed to be wearing a shirt, there should be some creases or wrinkles where it's tucked into his trousers.

                  Hope that helps!
                  Denim Trousers -- A Collaborative Comics Project

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                  • #10
                    The re-design is much better! A huge improvement, my crit would be that the background and the figure seem to be in the same spot, but I think colors would help that.
                    Holla

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