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My Daughters of the Dragon short film

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  • My Daughters of the Dragon short film

    I've been having some fun directing a short film featuring some familiar comic book characters to some.

    Here's a teaser vignette. Watch it in glorious HD. Select 1080 on the bottom right where 360 appears.

    Last edited by Symson; 03-02-2011, 01:02 AM.
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  • #2
    Any comments appreciated. Anyone?

    Bueller? Bueller?
    Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

    Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

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    • #3
      No offence, but it really feels like a porno. I kept waiting for them to start ripping their clothes off and having sex on the table. Plus, the music is way too dramatic for what's happening on screen.

      I'm not sure if my main problem was the writing or the acting or both, but iif you want to do something with those characters, and you could do something really good with them, I'd write an original script with no ties or references to any specific Marvel storylines. All the super hero references came off as kind of silly and unbelievable. Maybe better actors could pull them off, but they came out really awkwardly in this. With more realistic, believable lines, they might not have so much trouble pulling them off, try to avoid terms like 'genome device' and 'Black Tarantula'. Often what works in comics just doesn't work with real people.

      Sorry if that's overly negative. Your production values were pretty good, and your Misty really looked the part, even if she didn't quite have the sass and confidence I've always imagined the character having. I'd love to see a cameo from Iron Fist and Luke Cage.
      Droll Pictures

      The Repository of Rugg

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      • #4
        Thanks for the comments salmonguy. This is just a small taste of the film. The script is original and is not replicating a Marvel storyline. The references are only that. Once you see the next vignette trailer and also the whole film I hope you won't feel it feels like porno once it's all in context.
        Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

        Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

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        • #5
          I think what made it feel like a porno, having had time to think about it, was the combination of very glossy visuals, beautiful people and porn style over acting. Plus I'd just watched the episode of 30 Rock where Liz lets Tracy make a porno based on her life, and after the credits they do the last scene again, but with the porn acting, so I was already in that mindset.
          Droll Pictures

          The Repository of Rugg

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          • #6
            I didn't get a strong porn vibe from it, but the main detractor for me was the setting. In one closeup you could clearly see "fiction" on the shelf, disclosing that they were in a public library. Then I couldn't take it seriously because knowing they were in a library just pulled me out of it too much. Some of the actors have stronger performances here than the others, but overall this has a pretty high production standard.

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            • #7
              NO worries LwesGhost. In the final cut (which this is not) they talk about Celia destroying their headquarters. Also even without that, intend to take that out in post-production.
              Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

              Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

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              • #8
                I don't know if it's the production or my headphones, but the sound isn't mixed right. The voices register lower than the melodramatic music, and compete with the background music for dominance. I assume because the scene was low key and not very visually stimulating, some overcompensating on the music side was done to punch up the interest - which only served to take away from it, not add to it.

                Due to the sound issue, I couldn't really concentrate on the dialogue (which was pretty dreadful when I DID pay attention) and got easily distracted. For instance, I keep laughing at Moses's inability to keep his eyes off Celia's legs.

                And when did Misty stand up? That was an odd cut, not to mention the line that followed that should have gone through at least a few rewrites for clarity. I know what Celia meant, but the wording could have been better.

                The acting was serviceable, but everyone was too wooden - I could tell people were 'trying to act' instead of acting natural.

                Hope this helps.
                Last edited by amadarwin; 10-29-2010, 02:48 AM.
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                • #9
                  Thanks amadarwin. Your comments are appreciated.

                  This is just a vignette teaser. It's not the entire scene or final music. So we have a chance to address some issues.

                  We're shooting the fight scenes in couple of weeks. Hopefully, the completed film should be wrapped shooting by December. Then the post producton will begin and a lot of things will be corrected.
                  Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

                  Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

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                  • #10
                    Update

                    Producer has had medical problems.

                    Fight scenes have been shot, we've lost some actors.

                    Only a few more scenes to shoot, but i don't know when we'll get back to it.
                    Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

                    Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

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                    • #11
                      One thing you might want to look at is how your DP/cameraman is shooting here. The shots at the start of that first piece either neeed to be on sticks/locked off or on a steadicam... or at least less wobbly. If you're going for the handheld vibe then it's got to read clearly as handheld... to me it comes off as trying to be steady but held by hand. Really doesn't work.

                      Also the dialogue even as flat as it is could be greatly improved by shooting some over the shoulder shots and varying the shots so it's not just med wide shot to med wide shot. That becomes monotonous rather fast. Some cuts to extreme close ups to eyes at key points (smouldering indignation etc.) and mouths (smirks and tenses) could greatly improve the way that whole scene reads.

                      My guess is it's shot on video... you could try to work some rack focus on some of the shots and find that it gives it a more filmic feel. Everything in focus front to back becomes tiring and literal.

                      Lastly... it's got day time tv sounds and fx. That hits your right off. It's like an early 90s soap opera. Not the feel you want I'm sure.


                      All that being said.. it's so much more work than anyone can imagine getting even a short trailer like this together... akin to herding cats! So good on you for posting. Hope you can keep moving forward with this! If you're out in LA there is no shortage of actors to pull from for caste and those willing to test stuff out. Keep posting!

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                      • #12
                        Thanks for your comments Khmer.

                        You're right about the hand held. We got a new DP.

                        There are OTS shots, they are just not in this teaser trailer. This is not the final cut, just wanted to get something for people to see and get some feedback.
                        Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

                        Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

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                        • #13
                          Cool! Film is a long and varied process! But if you just keep chipping away at it you will be happy with it sort of... the small bit you keep rethinking drives you to shoot your next film!

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                          • #14
                            The mics sound too far away from the actors.. if you're already using shotguns try to get the booms closer, if sound is an environmental problem consider redubbing these lines, you could easily set up a make shift vocal booth in your home using a closet.. learn how to compress the audio properly and possibly high pass filter some of the vocals to get the sound mix as loud as possible (more bass = less volume)
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                            • #15
                              Thanks weirdozhead. Excellent advice.
                              Jack Kirby Centennial Tribute Book is free to download.

                              Joining you in the ABCs of faith - Action, Belief and Confidence

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