anoher comic page

[ConnerJb]

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C&C?

[NickRocks]

dynamic street fighter art! yay!

however, as a page, Im kinda lost. the kid jumping over zangief, ryu forming and shooting the hadoken...which comes first?

[Hanzou]

Very dynamic work. However as a sequential, I have no idea what is going on.

[NickRocks]

lol!tenchars

[ConnerJb]

the zangief part is supposed to be first... and then ryue down...

hmm any suggestions. mabey i should used seperation lines...

[Hanzou]

the zangief part is supposed to be first... and then ryue down...

hmm any suggestions. mabey i should used seperation lines...

Yeah, definitely separate the panels. They're merging together, making it more like a pinup than a sequential page. Make the Zangief panel lines thicker than the rest so that it stands out more.

[EmberJoe]

It took me a while to realize where Zangief was, and, it also took me a while to spot the firing of the Hadouken. I don't think it works well that ryu is shot from the reverse angle while firing the Hadouken. Maybe find a way to flip the upper (charging) image..., because it looks like he is aiming at the guy who is flipping off of Zangief, adding to the confusion of that panel.

[OldNoob]

Try thumbnailing the panel flow the traditional way, as in the eye flows left to right three times across the page. The eye goes across the top, back then across the middle, back then across the bottom. Vary too far from that formula at your peril. The easiest varience (Miller does this alot) is to just use one row of tall panels.

Also, You have the Hadoken blast projecting right at first, then left below. This is jarring. My top row would be the kid jumping over Zangief. Second row panel one would be kid seeing Ryu charging, perhaps with a low overlapping, or interstitial (over and between panels) of the eyes. Bottom row starts with Ryu blasting left to right and ends with kid through wall ina single panel.

Your drawing Is really polished though, no crits there!

[chia]

You know your muscle groups and your figure work is good, you have that going.

However, as a comic book page, this would never work. At least not a full book of these.

It is just too distracting to have so much overlap of figures that live in different panels. I felt like my brain had to work way too hard to figure out the order of the action and even the positioning of figures in space. It looks more like a collage (it would be an awesome cover) than an actual storyline.

Suggestions: for how much action you have going on, how many "Scenes" and how many characters, this might very well be impossible to fit into one page. Whatever is going on in that page, try to tell it in two or three pages. Right now I couldn't tell you whos winning, whos losing, or hardly even who's fighting.

Try to use more traditional panels on this, you can still do some overlap, but right now you are overdoing it. Try for a more square panel traditional type layout, and take your time describing the action, dont rush into showing everything all at once, no matter how fast the pace.