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Thread: FireHeart - Legend of the Paladins

  1. #1

    FireHeart - Legend of the Paladins

    Hi, guys! Introducing myself, Andry Chang from Indonesia.
    I'm here to present my finished novel, FireHeart - Legend of the Paladins Book One : Chronicles of a Bounty Hunter.

    It's the first book of a trilogy , and I've made it so it'll be easily converted into a full novel, illustrated novel, comic, manga, RPG / MMORPG game or even a movie. Well, it's not published yet as I've made it for my own pleasure and to share with my friends.

    I'll tell you more of the novel later, but for the full details and gallery of FireHeart, check out the previews, sample illustrations and the blog entries (draft script) in :

    FireHeart Saga - A Bounty Hunter's Blog

    Well, thank you for your attention. Good hunt and stay alive!
    - Andry Chang a.k.a. BJ Vadis, a Novel Writer and Blog Jockey

  2. #2

    FireHeart The Paladins Sample Chapter 01

    Face the Past, Embrace the Future

    Early the next day, Robert, Christopher and Carolyn begin their travel to Varestine. They encounter several monsters along the way. Although equipped with , a fine-looking long sword, Chris makes himself a poor companion, and the battle always ends up with Robert taking the front, Carolyn at the rear for magic support, and Christopher between them, supplying them with potions and guards their provisions. Robert still doesn’t teach Christopher any sword skills yet – only telling him to get a firm one-hand grip on his sword and his wooden shield and continually corrects his handling. This irritates Chris greatly, being a slow learner and impatient.
    They pass the new Arkvale village along the way. The village, built not far from the ruins of the old one looks more like a refugee camp or a thieves’ den – completely the contrary than the beautiful old village Robert used to know. Then they visit the graveyard of the old village’s folks. Their graves have no names on them, only crosses to hang anything they wore or bring at the time of their death. Then Robert recognizes his father’s armor on his family grave, with a full-slab tombstone with the names of Robert’s father, mother and sister engraved on it because the late Duke Walthorn knew them: Emmerich, Klarisse, and Jeanna Chandler. Chris and Carolyn go to visit other graves and put flowers on them.
    Robert approaches the grave, pulling his father’s kiliji out from the scabbard, and kneels, thrusting it into the ground. Robert prays for a while, and then talks...
    ‘Father, mother, Jeanna, I’m back. I know the orcs have separated us forever, but I don’t want to waste my life taking revenge upon them. I decided to dedicate my life to protect the people and the country I love. With your sword, father, I will make you proud.’
    Then Robert kisses his ring, saying, ‘Wish me luck, and wish me well, I will always keep you all in my heart.’
    Robert gets up and searches for Laetitia’s grave – in vain. But suddenly he sees a grave with an orc’s throwing axe hangs on a cross. He remembers at once – the throwing axe that killed Laetitia. He approaches it, and assuming that it is indeed her grave, he kneels and says,
    ‘Tisha… How I wished to be dead and be with you again in heaven, but I was spared. It was my greatest regret in my entire lifetime that I failed to protect you. But as I have found my purpose, I will never cease to protect the weak and oppressed until the day I die – to repay my debt to you. May you find rest in Vadis’ hands.’
    Robert stands there for a little while longer. He is deep in his thoughts. Then he calls Chris and Carolyn and they set off to Varestine. As they arrive at Varestine, Robert’s party go directly to the hunters’ guild to trade hunted monsters’ proofs and valuables with money, and sign up for the job to hunt the Lumien Trolls. The clerk examines Robert, Chris and Carolyn closely, then her expression changes and she says,
    ‘Sorry, this job is already taken. You can wait for the results first or take another job.’
    Robert has already expected this kind of response – underestimation – and gives a ready answer.
    ‘Ah, but we have already received a recommendation letter from the Sansarine Guild in Rand and confirmation from the guildmaster that we are among the hunting parties eligible for this job – and the only one. Please read this letter first, miss.’
    The clerk takes the piece of parchment from Robert’s hand and cross-checks it with the records in the back office, and comes back to Robert with a smile on her face.
    ‘Our apologies, sir. It seems that your party indeed claimed the job. A guild master’s recommendation is always good and guaranteed. Here’s the map to Lumien Forest and the ‘X’ marks here pinpoint the recent sightings of the trolls with notes of the time, date and their movements. Well, good hunt and stay alive.’
    ‘Good hunt and stay alive’ – This is the common greeting from the guild clerks continent wide to wish the hunters well and successful. But the clerk said it in such a tone as though she is doubtful that Robert’s party will succeed and come back alive. But Robert ignores that and goes away with the party. Chris complaints,
    ‘Grrr… the clerks here are never polite. They think they’re important, although their job is a mere administrative thing with low pay. Someday I’ll show ‘em a thing or two… hmph!’
    Robert shakes his head and smacks his lips aside on hearing this.
    Then they set out to downtown to prepare the weaponry and provisions for the hunt. Robert buys a crossbow and an ample supply of bolts at the weapon shop, and Christopher a small, light black iron shield with a white raven figure engraved at front. Christopher also equips himself with a simple breastplate to resist sharper blows from the enemies. While Carolyn takes her time at the enchanted weapons blacksmith to repair her magic staff, Esthagar, namely The Eye of the Storm, a unique staff which is sometimes mistaken for a trident although it can function as such, and the ‘rotating cat’s eye’ part on the top can also function as a magical compass.
    When they walk in front of Jeland Citadel in Varestine, Christopher and Carolyn can’t help admiring the greatness of the citadel that protected the city for ages. As Robert is native in this region and as he has served The Walthorns that rule Varestine, Carolyn asks Robert.
    ‘Robert, you said you served Lord Walthorn before. Why don’t we visit the castle and greet your ex-lord and wish him well?’
    Robert answers coolly, ‘That would be impossible. I’m not welcome in there anymore. If I ever set foot there again, they will imprison me at the spot for trespassing.’
    Chris reacts carelessly by saying, ‘How come you’re not welcome in this castle anymore? What crime did you commit?’
    Robert glares at Christopher. Chris backs away, terrified. Carolyn notices this and says,
    ‘That’s his “friendliest” way to say “mind your own business!”’
    Chiel chuckles amusingly. Christopher glares at Chiel angrily because he is embarrassed. Chiel yelps in fright, and hides behind Carolyn and blows raspberries at Chris.
    They set to Lumien Forest by foot early the next day, and they arrive at the forest entrance by night. They don’t dare to stop. They keep walking towards the riverside to avoid a surprise attack by the trolls. They arrive at the Dale River bank at dawn the next day.
    Christopher walks feebly; his eyes are half-open. He obviously doesn’t used to have a sleepless night before, and is obviously off-guard – a sitting duck for any monster passing by…
    Speaking of which, several pairs of eyes are watching from the bushes in the dark, damp forest. They look for unwary travelers and as they have found one, they immediately prepare themselves to strike.
    As Chris yawns, three green-skinned goblins wearing nothing but loincloth suddenly lunge behind him, and one of them draws its dagger to slit Chris’ throat. But before the dagger reaches Chris’ skin a crossbow bolt is already nested through the goblin’s head, right between its eyes. Chris is startled and turns around. The two other goblins are also shocked – but they already set their own targets and charge forward.
    ‘Voltarus!’ Carolyn casts a Lightning Bolt spell with her magical trident Esthagar towards one goblin and zaps it dead, totally burnt to crisp. Christopher defends himself from the second goblin’s mace with great difficulty, and suffers a hard blow on his breastplate. But Robert doesn’t move to help him. He only stands in front of Chris, ready with his crossbow and shouts,
    ‘C’mon, Chris! You can beat him! This peasant goblin is a piece of cake. Do it if you want further training!’
    Carolyn looks worried and says, ‘Shouldn’t we help him, Rob?’
    Robert doesn’t answer. Then Chiel the Micha who flies to watch for enemies shrieks as an alert. It sees things moving fast towards Robert’s party from the forest, at quite a distance. Robert who hears this immediately aims his crossbow to another direction, saying…
    ‘More enemies are coming this way! Finish that one quickly, Chris!’
    Christopher fights harder, deflects every blow with his sword and shield. Chris swings his long sword Wyrthal haphazardly in panic, hoping that one of his blows might hit – in vain. Suddenly Robert yells with a very, very loud voice, “HEEEAAAH!” The goblin is shocked and reacts by turning his head to see the assailant. Chris sees this opportunity, and swings his sword, cutting through the goblin’s neck. The goblin totters sideways, and falls into the river, lifeless. Soon blood starts flowing out and dyes the river red.
    Christopher is panting. He never fought this hard before. He kneels to take a rest, but Robert scolds him, ‘On your guard! More enemies are coming, and they now run faster because they smell blood!’
    Chris gets up, scowling, but gets himself ready with his Wyrthal Sword and shield anyway. Just then, they hear roars from the forest and three huge, greenish and ugly forest trolls come crashing, charging towards them.
    Chris yells ‘Here comes the main course!’ and starts to panic. But Robert stares at the trolls calmly and shoots a bolt right into a troll’s eye. Chris comments again.
    ‘Bull’s Eye! Oops, I mean, Troll’s Eye!’
    But Chris’ face turns pale in a sudden. The other two trolls attack him simultaneously. Carolyn thinks. Man, even trolls hate loudmouths too! In that critical moment, Robert draws his kiliji and launches his lethal Ten Point Chain Slash at the two trolls, making them release their crude clubs, causing them to stop and regenerate their wounds. Christopher gathers up his courage, holds his sword with two hands, climbs one troll’s bended knee, and leaps. But the troll grabs Christopher in mid-air and squeezes him tightly in his massive hand, giving him such a pressure. If Christopher doesn’t wear his breastplate, his body would surely break apart. The troll can’t launch his massive, deadly punch at Chris due to the regeneration of its wounds.
    In the agony of death, Chris looks around for help. Robert is busy attacking a troll beside him with quick blows and speedy skills, while also evading the troll’s slow blows. Carolyn is at Chris’ front, sending bolts after bolts of lightning towards the troll with a bolt in one eye, but like Robert, she doesn’t get an upper hand either.
    Chris’ condition is desperate, and as the pressure becomes more unbearable as the troll regains his strength, Chris prays silently, ‘Oh Vadis the Almighty; please save me!’
    It was a prayer from a desperate heart that only depends on its last hope – Vadis’ will. But it seems that Vadis has a plan for this ‘hopeless’ fellow, Christopher. Suddenly Chiel the Micha who flies above them reacts to the prayer. Its body and eyes are glowing brightly, and a golden, shining circle that looks like an energy ring appears above its head. It turns its gaze on Chris. Then suddenly a new strength is surging into Chris. The holy power from Chiel generates ceaselessly inside Chris, and Chris feels that he is about to explode if he doesn’t do something to release the energy.
    Chris tries to free himself from the troll’s grip, holds his sword high and thrusts it into the troll’s cranium. The grip loosens at once, and the troll crashes on the ground, dead. Christopher also falls, following the troll to the ground, and lays unconscious. The excess holy energy is gone, and a part of it resides in Christopher’s body, making him stronger so he can generate holy energy by himself from now on. Chiel’s reaction also ends, and it flies casually as though nothing has happened.
    Meanwhile, Robert and Carolyn are still fighting their opponents. Robert releases another Ten Point Chain Slash towards the troll, and the troll falls – died from too many mortal wounds, leaving Robert with a bruise on his left cheek.
    Carolyn still can’t overcome hers. Every time she only casts and runs, as she needs time to say the mantra and do some energy charge before releasing the spell. This gives time to the troll to regenerate. Carolyn is about to cast another bolt, but the troll has already raised its club aside to strike Carolyn – there’s no escape. Carolyn only stares at the troll in terror. But the troll’s attack stops as a bolt penetrates into its brain between its two eyes. It stands there still, its club falls from its hand, and he falls dead on the ground. Its wound regenerates, but what’s the use of it if the brain is already dead. Carolyn is recovered from her shock at once, and looks back. Robert used his crossbow again to put another bolt in the one-eyed troll with his Bull’s Eye shot. Carolyn stares at him admiringly, then says,
    ‘Thank you, Robert. You saved my life.’
    ‘Don’t mention it. That’s what a party for – watching each other’s back.’
    ‘Speaking of a party – where’s the other party member? Chris?’
    Robert looks around, and then finds Christopher.
    ‘There he is!’
    He walks towards Christopher who is still lying unconscious with a rather worried face.
    Ah, I failed to protect him. But… this troll is dead. He must’ve killed him. Maybe there’s indeed something special in him that I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just check on him whether he is alive or dead.
    Robert puts a finger on Christopher’s nostrils, and speaks in a surprised tone.
    ‘He’s still alive! This is a miracle!’
    ‘Ah, really? Oh, Chris! But… but did he actually KILL that troll?’
    ‘Of course, Carol. Look, his sword is still stuck on its head. It takes a real pro to deal that kind of blow at that troll.’
    ‘Maybe it was only a fool’s luck. He’s always like that.’
    ‘Yes. A fool’s luck. But this fool is too lucky. Well, I’ll train him harder to make sure he won’t run out of luck.’
    ‘Robert, you agreed at last. He will thank you for that.’
    ‘Oh well, just to show you if I ever stuck in a hunting party, I’ll stick with it until the end. It’s called “commitment”.’
    ‘Thanks. Now let’s collect the proofs and valuables so no other party or spy might claim them as their own.’
    They move Christopher aside. Carolyn tries to bring Christopher into consciousness by pouring water from the river at him. Robert examines the carcasses to extract the proofs and valuables. As he examines the goblin he shot, he finds another wound on its stomach – a stab wound with a sword – and then he smiles.
    Hmm. That confirms my hunch, says Robert in his mind.

  3. #3

    The Prologue

    Terra Eternia

    The world of Vadis, Adair and Enia

    Created by the One

    Kept by the Three

    Terra Eternia

    Where three live as one

    Positive, negative and neutral

    Magic, science and nature

    Terra Eternia

    The world where myths are real

    Fantasy is history

    Fairy tales are actual

    Terra Eternia

    The world of dangers and adventure

    When light and dark collide

    And the neutral shed tears
    Just like in our world, our dimension, when all beings live in harmony, Terra Eternia is indeed a beautiful world of love, hope and peace. But when evil – the extreme form of negativity – disrupts the balance, there are always conflicts between good and the Trinity of Evil: hatred, destruction and terror.

    Evil once ruled supreme in this world, the Evil named Vordac, the Dark Overlord. His domination was ended by Sage the Fireheart, who assembled the Seven Heroes and waged the First Crusade. Vordac has once rebelled against Adair the Sodomos, the Dark God. Adair defeated Vordac, banished him from the underworld and cursed Vordac to roam in Eternia eternally. As a result of that, Vordac’s spirit can possess mediums or hosts, and after his defeat to Sage, he possessed a medium, the Great Sword Deathblade.

    Vordac re-emerged with the help of his host, Mildred Urganon, but he again met a fatal defeat from Fireheart’s son, Antoine the Avenger. And again, Vordac’s spirit found refuge in Deathblade.

    And now, that very blade is in the hands of an old man with white long hair, moustache and beard. He is standing in a dark, vast room with another old man and a she-elf. The bearded man talks,

    ‘At last, we found the perfect, safest place to keep the sword.’

    ‘Are you sure, Azrael?’ says the she-elf inquiringly, ‘Because, honestly, this room is not inaccessible enough.’

    ‘I agree with Carolyn,’ says the old, half-bald man with a white moustache. ‘I say we better melt this sword in the lava pit.’

    ‘I can’t believe a scientist like you would say that, Theripides. If we melt this sword, we’ll destroy it. Vordac’s spirit will be free and possess any of us,’ says Azrael.

    ‘Hmph, I guess we don’t have a choice, then,’ says Theripides. ‘We have searched for months, and Her Majesty here offered this place although she is not sure either.’

    Carolyn, the blonde, long, curly-haired elf responds with a sigh, ‘I guess we have to be satisfied of this place. It has all natural barriers, enough to prevent any being to reach here. All we have to do now is adding some more to make sure no one can claim the sword, even us.’

    Azrael nods and makes a decision, ‘Very well, then, we’ll seal Deathblade in here! I will now create a force field using this orb, and I also need some magical assistance from you two. This will be the final barrier should others fail. So, shall we begin?’

    ‘Naturally,’ says Carolyn.

    ‘Anytime,’ says Theripides.

    Azrael holds the sword with his outstretched hands, and Theripides casts a spell to keep it aloft.


    Azrael releases the sword and reaches into his pocketed belt. He takes out a silvery-white orb, and places it on his upright palm, and chants,

    ‘Aegis, ma washtar galatre Kraal’shazar, im gemackt an Corona Infer. (Aegis, please help seal the Deathblade, as the Little Sun is being made)’

    The orb reacts and emits violent sparks, then flies towards Deathblade. When the orb touches the sword with a devil carved on its hilt and seven runes of Original Sin carved on its blade, the sword suddenly vibrates very hard. The red eye carved on the blade just above the hilt is widened although it’s alive. An thick aura of darkness comes out from the eye, resisting the power from the white orb.

    The orb intensifies its energy, and the sword follows suit. As they reach the peak of their auras, anyone can see a visualization of a thunder bird and a black devil fighting each other. Soon enough, the thunder bird still doesn’t get the upper hand against the devil. Seeing this grim prospect, Azrael decides to help, saying,

    ‘I’ll begin the sealing process now! The dark energy from Vordac is still too strong for Aegis! Carolyn, help Aegis too!’

    While chanting an indistinct, long mantra, Azrael releases threads of light from his ten fingers of his hands. The threads of light spin around the devil and the thunder bird as though trying to cover both of them in a bigger orb.


    Carolyn’s Force of Nature spell is much simpler than Azrael’s, yet more focused, giving more and ever-amplified pressure on the sword and also amplifying Aegis’ power. Under such pressure, the devil’s shadow roars. It amplifies its energy threefolds and overpowers Aegis and the three wizards. It now looks like a devil’s shadow with an overlarge, open mouth. It’s going to swallow Aegis!

    Knowing that more power is needed, Theripides now shows his speciality: his ability to cast two spells in one time. Using his free hand holding the Chrono Chakram, he casts Meteor Shower. Bolts of fiery meteorites pour down from above, and all focused towards one target: the Deathblade. The battle is in an even footing again, but the wizards need something more – because they don’t know how long they can keep this on. If one of them runs out of mana, all will be lost.

    A calm loving smile shows on Azrael’s face. He knows at once that for the greater good, he must sacrifice himself. He stares at Carolyn and Theripides in turns, and then nods. Just then, a layer of light appears, covering Azrael’s body and making him shine dazzlingly. Carolyn and Theripides stare back at Azrael in terror: Azrael is going to cast Divine Retribution, the spell that once made him vanish without a trace – until he was found again about five years later.

    Before any of them can say anything to stop Azrael, he already spoke the incantation aloud.

    ‘Eleison ex Tributalis!’

    As though a million angels rush down from the sky to attack one devil lord, the beautiful-looking yet deadly spell attacks the Deathblade from all sides. It’s a sure hit, no evil can escape and block this spell and the damage is continuous and extreme – the truly ultimate holy spell next to Armageddon. If it’s a one-hit and kill, Azrael is going to be all right. But the need to cast this spell ceaselessly drains more energy than Azrael can bear.

    The Great Archmage of Light’s face turns white and pale, with traces of his nerves showing on his face and hands. His eyes are bloodshot, and blood begins to drop out from his eyes, nostrils, ears and mouth. It seems the spell is backfiring on him because of his lack of mana energy, but now the vision of devil begins to contort and dissolve. The dark mana from the sword is going to be suppressed, and the seal is about to be completed.

    Then suddenly the devil’s shadow explodes the last drops of its energy, throwing Azrael, Theripides and Carolyn far away. The Orb of Aegis is thrown too, but it doesn’t break. It immediately turns into a white bird and flies back to the sword. Then it uses this golden opportunity to electrocute the entire sword.

    Staggering and half-kneeling, Azrael also uses the last drops of his energy to complete the seal covering the sword. Theripides, who instinctively rushes near the sword, gets an unpredictable turn. The Deathblade suddenly attacks and severs Theripides’ right arm. Theripides moves back, electrocuted and badly wounded. Now he probably regrets that that was the stupidest thing he ever done in his lifetime.

    Carolyn immediately moves to cure Theripides, and the Viavitali spell mends his severed arm nicely although it can’t connect the severed parts together. ‘Good thing you’re a lefty, we sure are going to need your technical concepts.’

    ‘Ugnnh... I’m done here, don’t worry about me. You better tend to Azrael.’

    ‘Ah, alas... he’s a lost case. Just let him finish the sealing before we help him.’

    ‘He did it again,’ says Theripides, shaking his head. ‘Why did he get to cast that blasted spell? Come to think again, he really sacrificed much so we can seal this sword.’

    At last, Azrael finishes the orb covering the sword and Aegis’ orb. Taken from Vadis’ Aegis Shield, Aegis is assigned to a new job: suppressing and protecting Kraal’shazar, the Deathblade at all times. Carolyn the Elf Queen, the Archmage of Nature completes the sealing by adding Flame of the Eternal Corona on the orb surface, making it into a complete miniature sun.

    ‘At last... my last mission in this world is complete.’

    After he says that, Azrael falls on his knees. Fatigue takes over him now all his magical energy is gone. He is one hundred twenty four years old now, and he is a mage no more. Naturally, he is now very weak and his feet can barely support him. Carolyn moves to support Azrael, saying, ‘You fool... losing everything to a devil-inhabited sword. You should’ve done better.’

    Azrael responds feebly, ‘I have done my best, and... and I h-have no... regrets. Now I’m g-g-going to leave you all f-for sure. This is my last journey. I can’t go anywhere else now. Please, my friends. Now, for the first time, I’m going to ask you two some f-favors.

    Please send my regards to the Old Emperor Sage and Prince Anthony. Tell them it’s been an honor serving them. And for me, Anthony is always Anthony. I will send his love to my daughter Vivian in heaven. May Arcadia live long and prosper.

    Also, tell your descendants that should the Deathblade is in the open again and Vordac gets a new host, they must gather a number of heroes again to prevent that or make sure that this time Vordac’s soul will perish permanently.

    I now prophesy that one day the paladins will rise. We may not be able to seal Vordac forever. But when Vordac is indeed released, these multi-talented heroes of light will emerge and fight the Dark Overlord and his minions. Find them, and make sure they are united and well-prepared. Only in the paladins’ hands hope may prevail.

    And this is my last request. Just let me stay near here long enough until I die. I will now retire from the world and take a rest here. Put somebody trustworthy here to take care of me, so I can look towards this place where my masterpiece lays and be happy and satisfied about my life and what I’ve done for this world. I hope you will comply with my wishes.’

    ‘Of course, Azrael, my friend,’ says Theripides. ‘We will strengthen this place with our combined mastery of science and magic, and prepare our future generations.’

    ‘And we will find the paladins once we hear or see any premonition of Vordac’s return. The Holy Pope in Valanis will help too,’ says Carolyn.

    ‘Thank you, my friends,’ says Azrael with tears in his eyes. ‘Thank you for appreciating my thoughts and wishes. N-now would you take this old soul outside, to his final resting place?’

    ‘You don’t have to ask,’ says Carolyn. Then she and Theripides take the ex-wizard Azrael out of the room through a secret stone door and then the door slams shut.

    The room is empty again, except for a miniature sun ever-burning in the center. It’s the sun with a devil within.


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