k i'm just gonna post mine here. If you like it use it, all i ask is give me credit for writing it (Ielle Palmer is what i go by). Oh and of course let me see it when you're done, that's half the fun!
Uh btw, IronS, i can't get yours to open so i can read it bummer
anyway enjoy (or not lol. I can honestly say as much as i find flash gordon amusing, WRITING pulp kinda went against all i've tried to train myself NOT to do lol)
HANK HARROWS IN:
The Sleeping Dragon Part I
Page One: Four Panels
Panel One: Tight LS of a woman hurrying to join a man and a boy (about 10 or 11) on the balcony in the “city of the future”. An architecturally amazing place complete with flying cars. Off to the right we can see that there are other guests in tuxedo’s milling about the house. The woman (Edie) is dressed in the finest flowing gown, one reminiscent of a Greek or roman woman’s toga, but with an added futuristic edge. The man (Hank Harrows) is partially dressed in a tuxedo, his bow tie is hanging about his neck untied. His suspenders are hanging from the waist of his pants, also not pulled into place. His coat is nowhere in sight. The boy (Ren) is standing beside Hank, trying to imitate Hank by leaning over the railing and looking over the side. Unlike Hank and Edie, he is not as dressed up. Instead he’s wearing PJs. Hank has turned a bit to look back at Edie. The boy is still leaning.
CAPTION 1: Midnight: All Rogues Eve.
CAPTION 2: High Above the booming port city of Wineera. Celebrations abound at the turn of a new eon. The apartment of Hank Harrows, like so many others this night, bustles with activity.
EDIE: There you are! Shame on you Hank Harrows, neglecting gues-
Edie (link) : WHAT is he doing up?!
Panel Two: Loose CU of Hank winking at Ren who smirks back mischievously. Edie stands between them in the background her hands on her hips in mock anger.
HANK: Now what fun would "All Rogues Eve" be without a little mischief, Edie?
EDIE: What have you done?
HANK: Done? My dear Mrs. Harrows, we haven’t DONE a thing…
HANK (link): Yet.
Panel Three: Loose MS of Edie pointing her finger back at the doors to the apartment, her one hand still on her hip. Ren hangs his head angrily, his lips curled a bit. Hank is leaning on the balcony railing amused by all of this.
REN: I never get to have any excitement.
EDIE: Young man, excitement is NOT all it’s cracked up to be.
HANK: Funny, that’s not what you said last n-
Panel Four: High Angle Extreme LS of the trio on the balcony. Hank is patting Ren on the head while Edie continues to stew. From this angle we can see a rocket in the foreground speeding its way towards their building.
CAPTION: Lost in the night’s utopian dreams, even they are clueless to the danger which hovers above.
REN: Just once I’d like to get to stay up with the grownups instead of hear about it later.
EDIE: When you’re older.
REN: I’m almost eleven!
HANK: God Edie, that’s nearly retirement age.
EDIE: Not helping!
Page Two: Four Panels
Panel One: Loose MS of Hank following Edie back in through the doors of the balcony. Ren is still pouting outside. We can see the rocket closing in behind him. Edie is looking back at Ren, but her eyes have caught on the incoming missile. Hank has turned away, waving his hands above his head gesturing that he’s hand enough of Edie’s harping. He’s rolling his eyes as well.
CAPTION: And so the gayety continues….
HANK: All right, All right I know when I’m licked. Come on Ren. Listen to your Aunt. There will be plenty more All Rogues Eve parties to prank.
EDIE: Gee, you’re a great role model.
EDIE: (link) … huh, that’s funny, I thought they stopped the fireworks an hour ago.
Panel Two: CU of Hank looking back over his shoulder nonchalantly.
CAPTION: …until the reality of their modern world returns…
Panel Three: Same angle, but Hank’s eyes are wide with Terror as he shouts!
CAPTION: …spoiling it all.
HANK: REN GET OUT OF THERE NOW!!
Panel Four: EXTREME LS of the rocket hitting the side of the building just to the right of the balcony sending up a fireball, dust and debris. We can see the small figures of Hank diving atop Edie who is closer. Ren is knocked backwards against the balcony railing. The balcony itself is cracking and tipping forward, pulling away from the side of the building.
SOUND 2 (from balcony): Crack!
Page Three: Six Panels
Panel One: Low Angle Tight LS of Hank and Edie peering over the edge of what use to be the balcony. The mangled metal is holding on by only a few screws. Little Ren is clinging to part of the railing, crying. Edie’s clothes are torn (seductively of course lol) She’s covered in soot and has some minor bruises. Hank also looks war torn. A few slightly wounded guests have come to the balcony archway to see what’s happened. Unlike Edie who is just leaning over the side, terrified and the guests who are peering over her; Hank has taken his tux shirt off (he’s got a wife-beater like undershirt on under it) and is tying it to one of the nearby mangled railings that looks anchored.
CAPTIONS: During great horrors, great heroes arise.
EDIE: Ren! Hold on baby!
REN: Aunt Edie, I’m slipping!
HANK: Way ahead of ya, Sweetheart.
Panel Two: TIGHT LS side view of HANK hanging beside REN, his arm wrapped around him.
CAPTION: Putting right before reason…
HANK: Put your arms around my neck, kiddo.
REN: Uncle Hank I’m going to fall.
HANK: That’s what a quitter would say son.
Panel Three: CU of Edie seeing hank’s shirt ripping. She’s reaching for it.
CAPTION: …They risk all.
EDIE: Hank, darling… you have to hurry!
Panel Four: CU of the shirt slipping past her hand.
Panel Five: LS of Edie crying, in the arch way of her destroyed balcony. One of the women from the party has wrapped her arms about her. Meanwhile five military men are storming up to them. Dressed as oddly as possible, their helmets are ridiculous.
CAPTIONS: SECONDS LATER
MAN 1: Clear the area! Ma’am… Ma’am is everyone okay here? Where’s Captain Harrows? Mrs. Harrows?
EDIE: He’s dead.
Panel Six: Tight MS of Eddie sitting beside the destroyed balcony, she’s reeled back in surprise, but completely elated. Her friend is gasping. To the left of them Hank is pulling himself up from the side of the building. Ren is clinging to his neck, his crying has stopped, but he still is visibly upset and also battered. All we see of the soldier are his spit shinned riding boots standing across from Edie.
HANK: Woman, the conclusions you jump to, I swear.
MAN 1 (O.P) Captain Harrow, sir! You’re not dead!
HANK: No I’m not, Lieutenant. But you better believe the same soon won’t be said for the creep who attacked my family!
CAPTIONS: NEXT WEEK: The Sleeping Dragon. Part II