Sequentials

[luesang]

Hey guys! here are some inked and lettered pages for a book I'm working on called Lilith. Been out of commission a while (life can knock you around pretty hard sometimes). I know there are still anatomy problems here and there but please feel free to rip into these pages! They aren't in order sadly. I just realized that one page was filled with cursing so I pulled it
laters,
Brian :happy:




By the way, sorry if the images are too small to read the type. I wanted to keep them small enough for easier viewing.

[BlackFOOT]

my suggestion would be too change your perspectives and angles - like below and above shots. More closeups on faces to create more drama and character. Just try to be more dramatic as this looks a bit flat. Keep tryin tho

[Mr.Hades]

There are some perspective/foreshortening issues here. Page 1, panel 1- The girl looks as though she is about two foot tall. If she was going to be nearer 'us' the viewer, she should be larger than the guy. It also appears to the viewer that the room is on a slope.
Page-2, panel-3- The guy on the roof nearest to us, his left foot looks awkward and does not illustrate him standing on an angled roof that well.
Panel-2, Panel-5- The arrow hit is not doing it for me. It took me a second to realise what had happened. I would suggest adding in some speed effects to the arrow, or a spray of fluid to display the hit.
The work does demonstrate a good sense of timing and balance though. Keep posting and good work so far!

[luesang]

BlackFOOT and Mr. Hades:

Thank you both for responding, I see the issues that you both are pointing out (especially the one about the arrow in the eye - that panel really loses impact, huh?).

BlackFOOT, I will try and move the camera around some more to spice up things a bit. Thanks for the advice.

Mr. Hades has totally called me on my illustration flaws - something I'm still working to perfect.

Thanks again guys for taking the time to post.
-Brian

[Bryan E.Warner]

Dang Brian
I've been so dang hammered at work,I can barely sketch....Your Story telling is Tops ( Of Course I'm a bit one sided here Young Jedi ) I like those Bars and how you have the 2-panels paced,and not being too Artsy with out a ripple in the story telling rather inhanceing it.
Gotta hit the hay,You know the rules,Never Stop is the un-written one
Bryan
P.S. 600 pics across for eye pleaseing view.

[FUEGO]

hey, ok you definatelly need to work on your perspective, its a pain but its worth it. You can check out in the tips secction a lot of lumis pages on perspective. Also it would b worth it for you to buy "perspective for comic book artist" by David chelsea.
Other than that you also need to work on facial expressions it is hard to see the diference of expressions int he pannes of hte first page.
I really like hte balance of composition.
Fernando