the fatman draweth!

**nickbachman** · 06-11-2008, 06:24 PM

You could use a bit of anatomy work. Try doing some life drawing, or check out any of the many anatomy books available. I kind of like the character with the ripped out heart, but he also kind of looks like he lept right out of Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. I think it's the hairdo. I like the ripped open chest, that's neat. Hawkman's torso is pretty nice, but any points you earned there, you lost in his arms. Parts of his arms seem to be twisted in different directions that are impossible to replicate in reality, as can be seen in the arm holding the shield. His upper arm is being viewed from the side, while his lower arm is coming right towards us. This could be a wicked battle wound, I'm not sure of your intentions. Hawkman also seems to suffer from very short legs, while his opponent has the opposite affliction, where his torso seems very small in comparison to his legs. Hawkman's shield-wielding forearm seems to be massive, whereas his other is much smaller. At first glance, one would think the size discrepancy would be due to the other arm being farther back in space, but his hands are much closer to the same size, making the arms look very awkward. He kind of looks action figure-like. His opponent's pose doesn't seem very natural, I think he'd be easily toppled backwards by the might of Hawkman's mace or the sheer force of his own sword colliding against said weapon of Hawkman. On second glance, it appears the opponent has two swords. You're going to want to make that more clear. One of his swords seems to be a lot shorter than the other, looks as though it was squished to fit onto the paper? An easy beginner's mistake, don't worry. In the future, go ahead and let it break the edge of the page. Hawkman also seems to have a case of "anime mouth." I tried making the mouth shape in a mirror and well, I failed. Don't be afraid to reference photographs of people with open mouths or use the ol' mirror trick to get things right. I can't tell if this is inking or not, but I'd suggest trying to achieve more than one line weight. It will really add a lot to the drawing and give it more depth. Onto the next piece.

I can see what you were going for with the jetpack man piece, perhaps I can shed some light on how you can better communicate it. His pose seems nice, but maybe would be more successful if it were viewed from a different angle, either from more below him as he cruises on up to the heavens, or from above him so he skyrockets towards the viewer. Either of those angles would be more challenging, but would ultimately make for a more visually appealing piece. He sort of looks like he's striking a pose with the jetpacks turned off, instead of flying through the air. Maybe you could add some flames or exhaust shooting out of the jets? Maybe some motion lines showing he's moving in an upward fashion? Visual shortcuts like that can be really useful in communicating to your viewer what's going on in the piece. I like where you're heading with his pose, I really do. The little doodle next to the main doodle is my favorite thing you've done. Great expression! Very funny, cartoony, and enjoyable to look at! Maybe this is a good direction for you to take your work!

The penciled portrait of the monkey man standing is very clean, however, he seems to be fairly neckless. Perhaps that's the character's design, I'm not familiar with this man. His armor seems to be lacking a three-dimensional form of any sort. This is another thing that doing some life drawing would help out. You could try setting up a still life in your house somewhere where it won't get bumped and draw some objects to see how they behave in space. This would really help add some dimension to his armor, and everything else. I see you added some sort of reflection to his belt buckle, it's hard to tell if that's what it is or not. If it is indeed intended to be a reflective metallic surface, I suggest, again, looking at photos or actual pieces of metal with a similar reflective nature to what you're going for and mimicking the way they look.

The final piece, the first one you posted, with the two drawings of the ape man is interesting. The top image isn't really working for me. I can see that you were trying your hand at foreshortening, but it looks more like he has nubby arms with hands on the front and really squished legs. Making the arms and hands get bigger as they come towards the viewer would really help get what you're going for across much better. I'll restate my previous comment of using more than one line weight to make the image more successful: try using more than one line weight when inking, it'll make for a better looking piece all around and be more interesting to look at. His pant legs seem to be about the same size, which negates any dimension you were intending to illustrate with the drawing. You also cannot really see where his legs bend at the knee, which makes for the squished look. Making his knees more distinct could help fix this. You could also add a cast shadow underneath him, in fact you can do that to all of your doodles to make them appear grounded and more solid and real.

The drawing underneath it of the split-in-half guy is interesting to look at and the foreshortening seems to be working better than in your other work. I just wish you'd paid as much attention to the legs as you did to the upper body, but I guess I can't have it all.

I've taken the liberty of picking out some books for you to look into to brush up on the points I've mentioned:

http://www.amazon.com/Artists-Comple...3229787&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Atlas-Foreshor...3229988&sr=8-3

http://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Perspe...3230012&sr=8-6

http://www.amazon.com/Human-Figure-W...3230033&sr=8-4

http://www.amazon.com/Perspective-Co...230053&sr=8-11

http://www.amazon.com/DC-Comics-Guid...3230078&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/DC-Comics-Guid...3230096&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Dynamic-Figure...3230141&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Dynamic-Wrinkl...3230158&sr=1-3

http://www.amazon.com/Dynamic-Anatom...3230176&sr=1-4

**fatmancomics** · 06-11-2008, 09:01 PM

Wow, thanks Nick.

**nickbachman** · 06-11-2008, 09:08 PM

Had a lot of time on my hands.

**Bryan E.Warner** · 06-11-2008, 09:14 PM

hummmm..I gotta feeling that Nick works for Amazon.lol ( just ribbing you ) I gotta say Jaime..Nick ether has too much time on his hands or he's given you his best..( I believe he means the best.) But! you know as well as I..it's all in keeping that pencil busy!

**fatmancomics** · 06-12-2008, 06:25 PM

Will do. Oh, and Nick, just so you know who the "ape man" is and why he's got a hole in his chest: http://www.uggabugga.net/asj41/chapters/index.htm

Heh, looking back at those I just realized that I drew my own character off model.