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Did you write the script? I notice that there is a lot of white space on the page. Is this where text or lettering will go?
And will this be colored or black and white?
Page 1-
Panel one establishes the big robot looking thing is about...eh....quite a few feet away. And he's just standing there. There is a dude flying in the background that we don't see until page 2. But that's nothing to really pick at you about. What bugs me is that the monster is just standing there and in
Panel 2- the monster is now a few feet away and is right next to him, standing. Shouldn't the monster be in a walking position in panel one toe help transition a little? That's my main nitpick I could find.
Panel 3 doesn't look bad, but the lighting from the energy might be lighting up the hand, so the hand might be better lit the oppisitte that you've lit it here.
Because in Panel 4, the lighting is the shiz. Very good lighting. And storytelling wise, except for the transition between panel one and two, nice storytelling. Easy to follow. But there might be too much wasted space for my taste. But that might be personal preference.
Page 2
Panel 1 looks cool. But who is he? Is he the guy flying in silouette in the other page, panel 1? You might want to establish that better in the future. But if you got a specific script, it might not be your fault. Some writers don't think about this stuff.
Panels 2-4. Nice looking. It's interesting that you chose to pan around him. Perhaps an intense slow zoom might help the emotional impact better.
Panels 5 looks very impressive. But when you have thick lines on an explosion, it tends to look more like water exploding, which may be what is occurring here. I dunno. But the lighting on the mohawk dudes shoulder blade throws me off. Why does the light hit his shoulder blade and no more of his back.
And panel 6, you could have broken up the black spotting wiht some white lines. The black spotting looks a little too strait around the edges for my taste.
Not bad overall. You definately have a publishable quality. But the black spotting edges could be a little more daring, and the wasted space is a bit much for my taste. But that's just my opinion.
You've got great skills at inking, and drawing explosions, and lighting, and pretty easy to follow storytelling. And you've got to issue 3, which is way better than I can say with anything I've done. Keep it up! And good luck with your project.
hey chip.. Will check it out when I can.. right now the kiddies are running around so I won't take a peek..
good to see you! I haven't had a chance to sneak a peek yet.. been bz with so many projects.. I have to say, it's looking good buddy!
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