Bulle' Red (rough sample issue outline/introductory)

[W_Laputka]

well, heres a sample issue of the comic ive been writing on and off this year. ive been so busy latley i havent had much time for it, and i have so much else on my plate that it has unfortunatley been put on a hold until i can get to it. however, i would love to hear the opinions/critiques of the penciljackers. the sheets are quick sketches, so forgive the mutated heads and the rough cell assemblys. enjoy.


http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...058#post581058


Woodruff

[yahdman]

you should read the tips for posting here. Always give direct links because I can't find your sequentials.

[W_Laputka]

hmmm, the link i have given should be very direct. though in forum style, the post should be navigated to directly by the explorer once the page loads.

Woodruff

[Mike the Gent]

The concept drawings are great - very disturbing stuff, like the kind of thing you'd find in Silent Hill had M C Escher done the creature design.

BUT....

The story pages themselves leave something to be desired, I'm afraid. If I read your posts on the other forum correctly, then these are just the prliminary sketches. If that's so then I can forgive the 'messiness' of them, but the panel placement, poses and camera angles are all very basic and somewhat stagnant. There's nothing there that makes it pop off the page.

The anatomy is also very, very wrong. It looks like you're comfortable drawing inhuman forms, but your people look lumpy rather than muscled, and the proportions are all wrong. In a lot of panels, it takes a stretch of the imagination to even register that they're people at all.

It's not all bad; you show promise. You're pushed the limits of your abilities, and chosen a couple of difficult angles to portray. You've had a crack at it, even if you've not been entirely successful, and that takes guts.

Keep at it; you will no doubt improve, but you have a ways to go yet I'm afraid.

[W_Laputka]

The concept drawings are great - very disturbing stuff, like the kind of thing you'd find in Silent Hill had M C Escher done the creature design.

BUT....

The story pages themselves leave something to be desired, I'm afraid. If I read your posts on the other forum correctly, then these are just the prliminary sketches. If that's so then I can forgive the 'messiness' of them, but the panel placement, poses and camera angles are all very basic and somewhat stagnant. There's nothing there that makes it pop off the page.

The anatomy is also very, very wrong. It looks like you're comfortable drawing inhuman forms, but your people look lumpy rather than muscled, and the proportions are all wrong. In a lot of panels, it takes a stretch of the imagination to even register that they're people at all.

It's not all bad; you show promise. You're pushed the limits of your abilities, and chosen a couple of difficult angles to portray. You've had a crack at it, even if you've not been entirely successful, and that takes guts.

Keep at it; you will no doubt improve, but you have a ways to go yet I'm afraid.

thanks for the words mike. as i posted earlier, these are preliminery sketches. and really, because im working on the issue myself, they arnet really made to impress. ofcourse things are to be changed, including certain cells that i desire to, as you say, "pop out", that do not in the deplayed panels. now that i have the time, hoorah!, ill be able to crack down on this issue and make a redrawn, polished draft.

thanks again,

Woodruff

[Cuddly]

Appreciate it if you could, in future, post direct links to your sequential art pieces, instead of a thread on another message board that contains a mixture of pieces. Thanks. Given the mix of art pieces, I'm moving this thread to Illustration.

[penciljack]

Apologies, but links to other forums aren't appropriate. Please feel free to repost direct links to the appropriate work here.