I drew a version of CJGannon's 1 page script from page 1 of this thread, posted in my blog here:
http://www.penciljack.com/forum/show...ials&p=1186352
I'm probably going to try my hand at working through a bunch of the scripts here. Good resource.
If anyone has used some of the scripts I have submitted I would love to see your work. Please private message me what you have so I can see your work. Thanks again.
I drew a version of CJGannon's 1 page script from page 1 of this thread, posted in my blog here:
http://www.penciljack.com/forum/show...ials&p=1186352
I'm probably going to try my hand at working through a bunch of the scripts here. Good resource.
Hello, this is my first post on here after coming across the website about 30 minutes ago. I'm getting up there in age (30 in 2 months) and have decided to give the medium of comic/graphic novels a go as I have been writing since I was 13 and still have everything I ever wrote but have never tried to actually make a paid career out of it. I usually write screenplays as I run a small production company in London that makes short films and music videos and it is conforming to writing in comic book format that worries me the most, it's just.............different and will take getting used to.
Please could anybody provide some constructive critisism on this piece I have written as a 8 page short. The work is not copywrited as I don't intend to send it to anybody, I just wrote it last night:
THE FOREVER WAR:
Plot synopsis:
We are flying through the clouds high in the sky. In blue and green speech bubbles we listen in on the conversation two men are having. It opens up with one of the men declaring “Whoever said violence doesn’t solve anything-was wrong”……….
As we tilt down to the earth the clouds disappear- to reveal the scale of a colossal battle on the baked desert earth of some distant future of our planet. The sounds of thousands of men and women screaming and dying fill our ears through the ear splitting deafness of the firepower they pack. The guns they wield are massive in size, those not strong enough to stand the force of the firepower with their own strength in the close quarter heat of the battle team up to tame the larger weapons by launching a long range attack from the flanks. Strategy has died, this battle has been raging for god knows how long and has become nothing but a large scale melee of death and firepower and bulging muscles and the desire to simply obliterate all that each man and woman sees. If you could handle the death you’d appreciate the gloriousness of the action as these military men and women forget all humanity and simply live to kill all that moves with their imaginative weapons of the future.
We pan through the battlefield, through the gunsmoke and blood until we pass the mass of moving bodies and come out at the other side to reveal the undisturbed empty land that lays unoccupied. Away from the battle we see as two specks in the distance two men. It is these two men who dialogue occupies the speech bubbles. They stand 10 feet away standing opposite each other, hundreds of feet away from the main battle, two lone figures, oblivious to the hell that is happening to their side. The wind blows in their faces and lifting their long hair in swirls around them. Their body armour is shattered, they are bleeding and battered but stand in silence staring into each others eyes. It is a stand off of the future, a game thousands have played in the past to settle one on one disputes. The world may change, but humanity does not. Each of them looks to the other, waiting to see who goes to grip their oversized guns and fire first at the other. The mood is quiet and suspenseful, in stark contrast to the raging bloodbath that takes place not far from them. This is not mindless violence. This is chess between two men. The prize is life.
After a moments hesitation, they both pull. Both shots miss and both men dive aside to avoid any follow up shot from their opponent. As they regain their feet they launch into a fistfight. One man, far bigger than the other, throws the smaller man to the ground. As he bears down on him, fire in his eyes and ready to make the killer blow, he raises his fist, leaving his other arm exposed as it clutches the smaller man. Taking this opportunity, the smaller man wraps his legs around the arm and catches the bigger man in an armbar. The arm breaks as its owner screams out and recoils. As he steps back the smaller man rolls to his feet, takes his gun and lets out one single shot at the bigger mans chest. The bigger man immidiatley fall to his knees, the life knocked out of him.
As he falls back, the smaller man catches his hand and drops to his knees, kneeling beside his fallen foe and holding his hand. Even in battle there can still be respect for the other, the two men who did not know each other and soldiers fighting in a war neither one started, destined to kill men and women who did each other no personal wrong. As we linger on this image of bonding between the two men, the victor with his head bowed, we pan out and fade to black…………..
As you can see this was an effort to introduce readers to the world, characters, clashes for future stories, but has room to explore things more in depth if I ever wanted to expand such as describing the technology, fashion, ecology, political background etc.
Any opinions would be appreciated, I'm not sure how one goes about beginning a career in this field so I'm shooting in the dark here![]()
I did A Zombie's dream by Knuckles here:
http://www.penciljack.com/forum/show...=1#post1188018
I did a 4 page mini in this thread: Whale-Man: 4 pg. Mini
If you decided to draw this, drop me a PM so I can see it. Enjoy.
Here's the first 8 pages of the first chapter of a webcomic that I'm writing and need an artist for. Forgive the lack of character detail; the artist I originally had lined up had already discussed designs with me before seeing the script and I haven't gotten around to putting everything back in. Also, the rather odd capitalization is to help me keep track of who and what's where at a glance.
PAGE 1 (6 panels)
PANEL 1: A large plane flies over Washington, DC. The sky is clear and blue, with the sun just out of sight.
CAPTION: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out the window you might catch a glimpse of the White House."
PANEL 2: A flight attendant pours a drink for an attractive woman in her mid 30's with a young child in the next seat. The child is enthusiastically pointing out the window at the ground, which is getting closer.
CAPTION: "Take a good look at it, everybody..."
PANEL 3: Secret service agents on the roof of the White House panic as the plane approaches.
CAPTION: "Since you're about to do your patriotic duty..."
PANEL 4: Interior of the cockpit. The PILOT looks completely deranged. The copilot next to him is slumped in his seat with his throat slashed.
PILOT: And blow that communist piece of shit living in it sky high!
PANEL 5: Perspective from behind the plane as it accelerates towards the White House.
PILOT (O.P.): Thanks for flying Air America! This is your captain, signing off!
PANEL 6: The plane hits the White House and explodes. The fireball is framed in the traditional view of the White House, i.e. from the lawn at eye level. SFX: KABOOM
PAGE 2 (8 panels) Every panel on this page is framed by a TV screen with some kind of news channel logo and a "live" icon, or some variation on that.
PANEL 1: We're at a news desk, framed similarly to this: The top story displays: Majority Leader Assassinated. The ticker scrolls: Fringe groups promise further retaliation. NEWSCASTER 1 is behind the desk.
NEWSCASTER 1: The Senate today proposed an amendment allowing suspension of the constitution during domestic insurrection.
PANEL 2: C-Span shows Speaker of the House ORANGE, identified as such by a caption, standing at a podium inside the House of Representatives. He looks suspiciously like John Boehner.
ORANGE: If freedom is the price of security, then that is a price we must pay. These terrorists can not win!
PANEL 3: Protesters line the streets in opposition to the 28th Amendment. They stand in a long line holding signs that read "give me liberty or give me death."
CAPTION:"Former Speaker John Orange was sworn in as President today."
PANEL 4: Back to a news desk, with NEWSCASTER 2. The current report reads "76 police stations bombed."
NEWSCASTER 2: In response to the recent attacks across the country, the President has declared martial law.
PANEL 5: We're on the mutilated corpse of an old man, with multiple stab wounds.
CAPTION: "Justice David Moore was found dead in his home after ruling against the deployment of troops to American cities."
PANEL 6: Another report from a news desk, this time with NEWSCASTER 3. On the ticker: CIA to absorb Department of Homeland Security.
NEWSCASTER 3: The 28th amendment was ratified today.
PANEL 7: ORANGE stands at a podium outside the Capitol Building.
ORANGE: In light of the continued attacks, I have no choice but to suspend the first amendment to weed out these extremists and return the country...
PANEL 8: A stray bullet pierces the screen over the image of ORANGE's head. SFX: KRACK
ORANGE: To a state of peace.
PAGE 3 (7 panels)
PANEL 1: Militiamen and US soldiers are engaged in combat in the street. The windows of the buildings at street level are shattered, cars are abandoned in the street, etc. General battlefield pandemonium. The soldiers are in uniforms and have gas masks, the militiamen are not. The TV is visible in one of the store windows.
PANEL 2: SETH, wearing a full face gas mask and an army uniform, approaches a closely packed group of 5 militiamen at a full sprint with a knife in each hand. The militiamen are aiming at him.
PANEL 3: The militiamen are all covered in multiple slashes and stab wounds. They haven't hit the ground yet. SETH is about ten feet ahead of them and approaching the entrance to an alley. Framed the exact same way as the last panel.
PANEL 4: A wounded militiaman is propped up against a wall in the alley. He looks about 16-17. SETH walks up to the militiaman with his very distinctive, very intimidating knife drawn. Make sure the blade is clearly visible so people will recognize it when it pops up again.
PANEL 5: SETH crouches in front of him and puts his knife to the militiaman's throat. The militiaman is understandably scared out of his mind. Framed at a 90 degree angle to the two of them - SETH on the left, the militiaman on the right.
PANEL 6: Close up on SETH's completely emotionless eyes.
PANEL 7: Blood spatters across the eye holes of the mask. SETH's expression doesn't change.
PAGE 4 (6 panels)
PANEL 1: Rainy, night. A crowded, semi-futuristic street in Washington with multiple conspicuous surveillance cameras and propaganda posters dotting the walls. A man is collapsing in a corner while a woman bends over him, a woman is being mugged in an alley, etc. The city has become oppressively big over the years, so please try to communicate that. The camera displays SEEKING... on the screen.
CAPTION: Washington, DC: 17 years later
PANEL 2: Another decrepit street, filled with more decrepit people. The POV still appears to be from a camera. Pull in a bit to allow for a more intimate view of how much life sucks these days. Camera still reads SEEKING...
PANEL 3: More of the same, now with RYAN in the frame among the crowd. His head is facing the camera's 10:00, which obscures his eyes and much of his facial structure. SEEKING...
PANEL 4: Everyone in the panel has continued going about their business. A box is drawn around RYAN's head and the rest of the panel is reduced to various shades of gray or blacked out entirely. The camera's readout is now TARGET ACQUIRED.
PANEL 5: The frame pulls back to show MARCUS, 59, observing the screen inside a darkened VAN. MARCUS's body also blocks the bottom left of the screen. The images on the surveillance screen change to a side shot of RYAN displayed next to the following: NAME: RYAN DAVIDSON / MALE / 42 / 6'0" / WANTED FOR: / [obscured by MARCUS's head]ion, smuggling / obscured by MARCUS's body except for the words APPREHEND FOR INTERROGATION.
MARCUS: Found him.
PAGE 5: (7 panels)
PANEL 1:From the inside of the VAN. The screen is on the left side of the van, MARCUS is on the right. MARCUS is carrying a PISTOL, hands between his legs and barrel facing down. GUS is driving. Framed from eye level at the back of the VAN.
MARCUS: Gus! Time to get moving!
PANEL 2: MARCUS puts a FIELD EARPIECE in his right ear. Close up on his face , with MARCUS pointed at the camera's 7:00 to show off the fact that most of the left side of his face is covered in a very large skin graft.
GUS (O.P.): Sir?
MARCUS: What?
PANEL 3: Close up on GUS's face. He's got the earnest look of the genuinely curious, not of someone who's challenging his superiors. Framed through the driver's side window, with GUS pointed to the camera's 7:00.
GUS: I still don't understand why you're going to all this trouble for a little guy like him, sir.
PANEL 4: MARCUS delivers a death glare to GUS.
MARCUS: Does it matter?
PANEL 5: GUS looks cowed.
GUS: I guess not, sir.
PANEL 6: MARCUS puts on a FULL FACE SKI MASK.
MARCUS: Right. Now shut up and drive.
GUS: Yes, sir.
PANEL 7: Close up on the FIELD EARPIECE. It should be extremely inconspicuous. Make it clear that SETH is addressing MARCUS through the earpiece.
SETH (O.P.)(Earpiece): Mr. Laurent, are you in position?
PAGE 6 (4 panels)
PANEL 1: MARCUS snaps to attention, puts his hand to his ear, and responds. Framed from his right at eye level.
MARCUS: Yes sir. Permission to engage?
SETH (O.P.) (Radio): Granted.
PANEL 2: The VAN is following RYAN, who is visible on the sidewalk several feet in front of it walking the other direction. MARCUS is opening up the back door.
SETH (O.P.) (Radio): Mr. Laurent, I am entrusting you with the success of Operation Remus.
PANEL 3: MARCUS opens up the VAN's back doors. Framed from outside the VAN, with the camera pointed straight at the back of the van.
SETH (O.P.) (Radio): I assume that you understand the magnitude of your responsibility.
PANEL 4: View is from behind MARCUS with RYAN in the frame, now behind the van. His face is covered by his shaggy hair and beard. MARCUS is pointing his gun at RYAN.
MARCUS: Perfectly.
PAGE 7 (8 panels)
PANEL 1: JASON is sitting down and enjoying what appears to be extremely greasy food in a somewhat grungy DINER at night. He's speaking with BILL over a cell phone.
JASON: Verify.
BILL (O.P.) (Phone): Verify what, you anal-retentive paranoid bastard?
PANEL 2: JASON doesn't show any emotion, but looks as friendly as possible within that restriction.
JASON: Hi, Bill. What's going on?
BILL (O.P.) (Phone): The guy showed up just like we agreed, but...
PANEL 3: JASON instantly gets deadly serious.
JASON: But what?
BILL (O.P.) (Phone): They grabbed him before I could make contact. Tranq team pulled up about 200 feet from me.
PANEL 4: JASON gets up and turns towards the door, still completely serious.
JASON: Shit. They make you?
BILL (O.P.) (Phone): Nah, I'm still clear. Might not stay that way for much longer though, there's feds all over the place.
PANEL 5: JASON walks out of the DINER, still on his phone.
JASON: Where are you?
PANEL 6: We're on BILL, who is sitting inside THE OLD STANDBY (A relatively clean bar) and wearing a FIELD EARPIECE. He is in his mid-30's and fairly handsome, wearing a RESISTANCE OUTFIT (Black zip-up-the-front hoodie, jeans, half face ski mask) minus the mask and with the hoodie open to show an orange t-shirt underneath. He is clearly worried.
BILL: I ducked into the Old Standby for a snack.
JASON (O.P.) (Phone): Get to HQ, it'll be safe there. Make sure you aren't followed.
BILL: Gotcha.
PANEL 7: BILL is in the process of standing up.
JASON (O.P.) (Phone): Bill, one more thing.
BILL: Yeah, boss?
JASON (O.P.) (Phone): Grab some coffee, on me. You've earned it.
PANEL 8: BILL allows a small smile.
BILL: Thanks, Jason.
PAGE 8 (8 panels) Every panel on this page is from RYAN's P.O.V.
PANEL 1: We're in the BACK ALLEY behind HQ, looking at a door in a wall from about 20 feet away. It's dark, grungy, and camera-free. The shot is from RYAN's POV.
PANEL 2: Another shot of the same door. RYAN is now closer.
PANEL 3: We're at the door. RYAN is holding out a blood-covered hand and banging on the door.
PANEL 4: The door opens inward, revealing NICOLE pointing a pistol at RYAN's face / the camera. She's ready to kill.
PANEL 5: NICOLE's expression changes to shock and horror as RYAN starts collapsing. Begin a fade to white.
PANEL 6: RYAN is on the ground looking up. NICOLE is shouting off-panel. Continue the fade to white.
PANEL 7: RYAN is still on the ground. NICOLE is kneeling over him and holding his hand, looking extremely worried. Her facial expression should be saying "It's going to be alright. I hope." By this point the image should have little to no color or and the lines should be faint.
PANEL 8: White out.
This is my entry into the most recent Marvel/DC Writing Contest in which the challenge was to pit a well known character against a relatively unknown character from the same universe. In my case I chose Daredevil, whilst Danny Rand A.K.A Iron Fist was filling in for Matt Murdock as Daredevil.
This was, I feel, a really well received piece and there was a decent amount of feedback saying this would make a good portfolio piece for showcasing action/fight scenes, so I decided to put it up here for just that purpose!
If you like what you read and choose to take a stab at drawing it, all I ask is that you please give me appropriate credit for the scripting as I'd quite like editors looking over the piece to know that I wrote it, just in case they really enjoy the writing alongside the artIt'd also be fantastic if you could send me a link to, or a file, of your pages as I'd love to see what people create from my words, many thanks in advance
Easy Mistake, yes?
Page 1: (6 panels)
Panel 1:
Birds eye view. It is late at night and DAREDEVIL is engaged in combat with a group of 5 normal, run-of-the-mill GANGSTERS in a typically grimy Hell’s Kitchen alleyway. The graffiti riddled walls of two buildings form the sides of the alley and are placed quite close together to create a claustrophobic feel. Daredevil is planting a high kick in GANGSTER 1’S face, sending him reeling backwards. GANGSTER 2 lies on the floor, clutching his broken ankle from a blow he took earlier in the battle. GANGSTERS 3 and 4 are charging at Daredevil, each brandishing a knife in their hands as they do so. GANGSTER 5 is picking up a large piece of discarded wood from the alley floor.
Gangster 1:
Ugh!
Daredevil:
Careful there, gentlemen.
Panel 2:
Tight focus. Daredevil is disarming Gangster 3 of his knife with a sharp, powerful blow to his wrist, shattering several bones in it. Gangster 3 lets out a tortured scream as the pain rushes up his arm.
Daredevil:
You could
Panel 3:
Tight focus. Daredevil is ducking underneath a clumsy, imprecise lunge behind him from Gangster 4 and his knife. Gangster 4 looks shocked that Daredevil was able to dodge his lunge, despite having his back turned to him.
Daredevil:
have somebody’s
Panel 4:
Tight focus. Daredevil is now crouched and taking the legs of Gangster 4 out from underneath him with a sweeping kick which knocks Gangster 4 to the ground.
Daredevil:
eyes out
Panel 5:
Tight focus. Daredevil dispatches Gangster 5 with a strong and firm uppercut into his face. The uppercut goes through Gangster 5’s piece of discarded wood which splinters as it breaks. Gangster 5’s face is screwed up from the incredible pain that he is feeling. His face almost appears to be crumpling under the force of Daredevil’s uppercut.
Daredevil:
with those.
Panel 6:
Over the shoulder shot. Daredevil watches the gangsters as they flee from him through the alley. Gangsters 3, 4 and 5 are running at pace from Daredevil and are a decent way ahead of Gangsters 1 and 2. This is because Gangster 1 is supporting Gangster 2 who is struggling to run with his broken ankle. The pain of trying to run on the broken ankle is too much for Gangster 2 and as such he begins to cry slightly. This is not necessary visible as he should be facing away from Daredevil, but his pain and sorrow should be evident in the way he holds himself.
Gangster 2:
*Ah-Huh* *Huh* *Agh*
Gangster 1:
Dude! Are you crying? Man the $#[(< UP!
Gangster 1 (Continued, small text):
You’re making us look bad...
Daredevil:
Hey now! Don’t just single him out. I thought you achieved that admirably as a group.
SFX:
VRAKOW!
Page 2: (4 Panels)
Panel 1:
Same as Page 1 Panel 6, except Daredevil has turned his head around to look behind him and the Gangsters have managed to flee slightly further into the distance. Daredevil looks perplexed at the bizarrely out of place sound from Panel 6.
Daredevil:
“Vrakow”?
Gangster 1:
Screw you, Daredevil!
Panel 2:
Daredevil is bending over backwards as a brightly burning, focused energy beam shoots over his body, approximately where his neck would have been. At the last moment Daredevil realises that by dodging the energy beam, he has put Gangsters 1 and 2 in its path. Daredevil knows that despite only being gangsters that neither of them deserves to die and so he desperately calls out to them to duck.
Daredevil (Large text):
DUCK!
Panel 3:
Daredevil watches in horror as the energy beam strikes Gangsters 1 and 2 and they are disintegrated in a flash of dazzling light. The Panel shows Gangster 1 and 2 highlighted and coloured by the same light of the energy beam in a typical disintegration effect.
Daredevil (Large text):
NO!
Death’s Head (Off panel, behind Daredevil):
Oops. Friends of yours, eh? My apologies.
Panel 4:
Daredevil has turned to look at who fired the energy beam. In the background behind him are the ashy remains of Gangsters 1 and 2. Daredevil looks outraged.
Death’s Head (Off panel, where Daredevil is looking):
Only meant to stun them, yes? Accidentally set blaster to ‘disintegrate’. Easy mistake, hm?
Daredevil:
Who-?
Death’s Head (Off panel, continued):
Just lucky it didn’t hit you. No price for scattered ashes, right?
Page 3: (5 Panels)
Panel 1:
Low angle shot. A human sized DEATH’S HEAD is using his boot jets to slowly descend upon Daredevil whilst staying upright to try and take another shot at him. As he descends Death’s Head points his blaster attachment- which appears in place of his right hand- at Daredevil. It can clearly be seen that the attachment is charging up for another shot. Daredevil stands rooted to the spot, momentarily shocked by the sight of this robotic killing machine descending upon him in Hell’s Kitchen of all places.
Daredevil:
I take it you’re a Bounty Hunter?
Death’s Head:
Huh! No need for name calling, eh? Now stay still so I can collect bount—I mean- price on you, yes?
Panel 2:
Death’s Head shoots another energy blast at Daredevil, who leaps acrobatically out of its way. As such the energy blast fires straight into the floor, ripping up chunks of it and creating a small crater. Death’s Head looks mildly irritated at Daredevil’s inability to cooperate with him and Daredevil is smirking at the absurdity of Death’s Head’s request as he leaps out of the way of the blast.
Daredevil:
Ha! Not likely!
Death’s Head:
What? Made sure blaster set to stun only this ti-
SFX:
VRAKOOM!
Panel 3:
Extreme close-up on the wrist of Death’s Head’s blaster attachment. There is a clear segment/bar with distinctly visible and easily readable text in it.
Text:
Disintegrate
Death’s Head:
Ah. My bad, eh?
Panel 4:
Same extreme close-up as Panel 3 except the text has now changed.
SFX:
Click!
Text:
Stun
Death’s Head:
There. Now it’s set to stun.
Panel 5:
Death’s Head is using his boot jets to follow Daredevil as he leaps and bounds upwards between ledges and balconies which jut out from each of the alley walls. There are three shots of Daredevil in the panel. Daredevil 1, the lowest down of all three Daredevils, is jumping off of a window ledge towards the bottom of a balcony. Daredevil 2 is propelling himself over the balcony with his hands and Daredevil 3 has only his legs visible at the top of the panel as he jumps to the top of the building and thus is mostly off panel. As Daredevil does this Death’s Head is able to get off two further energy blasts. One of which narrowly misses Daredevil 1 and the other of which narrowly misses Daredevil 2.
Daredevil 1:
Great.
Daredevil 2:
How
Daredevil 3:
comforting.
Death’s Head:
Stop moving then, eh?
Page 4: (4 Panels)
Panel 1:
Now atop the building’s roof, Daredevil and Death’s Head continue their battle. Daredevil is in the midst of a back flip out of the way of another energy blast. Death’s Head, still using his boot jets as he has not yet landed, realises that long range weapons are ineffective against Daredevil and as such he is currently in the midst of implementing his axe attachment in place of his blaster attachment.
Daredevil:
I don’t suppose you’d care to divulge who put this bounty on me, Bounty Hunter?
Death’s Head:
Hn. Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent, right? And you’re correct, Murdock. I wouldn’t.
Panel 2:
Extreme close-up on a bemused Daredevil.
Daredevil:
Murdock? Pal, you’ve got the wrong man. I’m not—
Panel 3:
Death’s Head has leapt at Daredevil, attempting to bring his axe down on top of him. Daredevil has caught the flat sides of the axe between his hands, blocking the attack. Death’s Head appears suspended in mid-air as he completes the leap.
Daredevil:
Hn! –Murdock!
Death’s Head:
Ha! Super-heroes and your secret identities. Such a ridiculous waste of resources, hm?
Panel 4:
Death’s Head has lifted his right foot up to Daredevil’s chest and has placed the sole of his foot on Daredevil’s chest. Death’s Head has activated the boot jet in his right foot which in turn has sent Daredevil flying backwards away from Death’s Head in a bath of flames. Daredevil’s costume around his chest is burning, as is his mask.
Daredevil:
AGH!
Death’s Head:
Sounds like you’re having a real blast. Heh. ‘Blast’. Should have been comedian, yes?
Page 5: (6 Panels)
Panel 1:
Daredevil is lying down and rolling on the roof, trying to put the fire on his costume out. At the same time he is grasping at his mask in an attempt to get it off. Death’s Head is strolling casually over towards Daredevil. As he does so, he is placing his axe attachment on his back and replacing it with his blaster attachment once more.
Daredevil:
AAAGGHH!
Death’s Head:
Quit squirming so I can paralyse you, eh? Ammunition expensive with current economy, right?
Panel 2:
Extreme close-up on Death’s Head’s face. He looks absolutely shocked.
Death’s Head:
Wait... You’re not Murdock. Huh.
Panel 3:
Over the shoulder- of Death’s Head- shot. Daredevil has put the flames on his costume out, leaving a large, smoky hole in his costume around his chest. He has also torn his mask off and thrown it away to reveal the equally smoky face of DANNY RAND A.K.A. THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST. Daredevil’s mask lies inches away from him, still burning. Danny looks up at Death’s Head with a look of almost murderous rage etched across his face. Death’s Head is slightly taken aback by the sudden hostility.
Danny:
That’s what I was trying to tell you! I can't be Murdock because Murdock is-
Death’s Head:
-Dead, I presume? Must have set chronometer wrong when using time machine... Still, no harm done, eh?
Danny:
No. Harm. Done?!
Panel 4:
Tight focus on Danny and Death’s Head. Danny has gotten off of the ground and is angrily shoving his face towards Death’s Head. At the same time, Danny is pointing violently into Death’s Head’s face with his right hand to reinforce what he is saying. To further achieve this he has activated his “Iron Fist” and as such his hand is engulfed in the familiar golden/yellow Iron Fist effect. Death’s Head is firmly standing his ground against Danny’s verbal attack.
Danny:
You destroyed my costume!
Death’s Head:
Easily replaced.
Danny:
You set me on FIRE!
Death’s Head:
You’ll heal, yes?
Panel 5:
Death’s Head has turned his back on Danny and is walking away from him. Behind him, Danny looks infuriated, both at what Death’s Head has put him through and also at the fact that Death’s Head now has the nerve to dare walk away from him. Death’s Head is chuckling to himself.
Danny:
Wait! We need to figure out how you’re going to pay for all this!
Death’s Head:
Ha! Keen sense of humour, eh? Perhaps you should be comedian, yes?
Danny:
And the two innocent men you killed? What about them?
Death’s Head:
Meaningless casualties, eh?
Panel 6:
Extreme close-up on Danny’s right hand. It is angrily curled up tightly in a fist, the Iron Fist effect still glowing around it.
Danny:
They meant something to me.
Caption:
The end...?
Here's a piece I did for the Marvel/DC Contest in which the theme was to pit an obscure villain against a hero they hadn't faced often or at all.
I used a villain named Crossfire who seems to have occasionally pestered several heroes but doesn't seem to have settled on one foe in particular. My hero is Deadpool.
http://marvel.com/universe/Crossfire
If anyone uses this, I just ask for the obvious credit as writer and that if your happy with your result, you show me what you've come up with. Hope you enjoy!
"Deadpool: Caught in the Crossfire"
PAGE ONE
1- INT. EMPIRE STATE SAVINGS & LOAN - DAY
Wide shot of the inside of the bank. We see a long line and the person at the front is walking away. The next person in line is Deadpool. Noticeably in costume, but with no swords and guns.
BANK TELLER
Next.
2- Deadpool steps up to the counter. The teller looks surprised.
BANK TELLER (CONT’D)
Wha- What are you doing here?
DEADPOOL
I’d like to open an account, please.
BANK TELLER
Seriously?
DEADPOOL
Nah, I’m just here for the sake of the story.
BANK TELLER
What?
3- Crossfire enters the bank with three thugs dressed in military garb. The people in the bank panic.
CROSSFIRE
Everybody on the ground!
4- Everybody except Deadpool drops to the floor in horror.
DEADPOOL
Oh snaps! Who saw that coming?
5- Tight on Deadpool winking toward the reader.
PAGE TWO
1- Crossfire grins as his men begin ordering the bank’s patrons to the ground.
THUG 1
On the ground now!
THUG 2
Get down! Hands on your head!
CROSSFIRE
Just do as these men say and everything will be fine.
CROSSFIRE
Resist and, well, that’s another story altogether.
2- One of Crossfire’s thugs leans in close to him and points at Deadpool. Deadpool stands with his hands clasped behind his back and head tilted to the side like a little girl trying to be noticed.
THUG 3
Hey boss, uh, isn’t that Spider-Man over there?
3- Deadpool is hurt and confused by the thug’s question.
DEADPOOL
Say whaaaaaaaaaaat?
4- Deadpool makes his way toward Crossfire and the thugs. The thugs aim their guns at Deadpool.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Spider-Man? Seriously?
DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
And I thought it was so obvious I fashioned this garb after Thor.
THUG 3
Stay right there freak!
5- Deadpool talks to Crossfire as the thugs still train there guns on him.
DEADPOOL
So what’s your end game here, pal?
CROSSFIRE
I’m robbing this bank.
DEADPOOL
Duh, dude. Think that’s pretty obvious.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’m talking “long haul”. You just looking to get rich or is there more to it?
6- Crossfire grins as he and Deadpool keep talking.
CROSSFIRE
Well, walking in Wilson Fisk’s shoes would be nice, but everyone has to start somewhere.
CROSSFIRE (CONT'D)
Now if you’ll excuse me.
7- Deadpool steps out of the way and gracefully waves Crossfire and his goons forward.
DEADPOOL
Be my guest.
PAGE THREE
1- Crossfire directs his men toward the vault. Deadpool is off panel.
CROSSFIRE
Vault’s over there, boys.
CROSSFIRE (CONT'D)
Find the manager, put a gun to his head, and I’m fairly certain you won’t have any problems getting in.
DEADPOOL (OFF PANEL)
Yeah, I’d like to report a robbery.
2- Crossfire and his goons turn around to see Deadpool using a cellphone.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Empire State Savings & Loan. Some D-lister and a couple mercs.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Lady, believe me, I know a mercenary when I see one.
3- Crossfire looks enraged.
CROSSFIRE
What are you doing!?
4- Deadpool places his finger over his mouth, shushing Crossfire.
DEADPOOL
Ssssshhhhhhhh!!! I’m on the phone.
5- Crossfire orders his men to attack and Deadpool leaps into the air, still talking on the phone, dodging gunfire.
CROSSFIRE
Kill him!!!
SFX- RATTATATATATATATATAT
DEADPOOL
No, they busted out some firecrackers!!! Of course they’re shooting at me!!!
6- Deadpool does a diving kick, hitting one thug square in the face.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
KABLOW!
DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
I just nailed this guy all up in the face! You shoulda seen it!
PAGE FOUR
1- Deadpool cuts a backflip toward the other thugs as they continue firing at him.
SFX- RATTATATATATATATATA
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Well, I know you can’t see me. What do you think I am, crazy?
2- Deadpool stands on top of the thugs’ heads and slams them together with his feet.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Seriously though, you gotta check out the security tape after all this is over.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’m in rare form.
3- As Deadpool lands the cell phone is shot out of his hand, exploding.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I mean--
SFX- BLAM!
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
AH!!!
4- Deadpool looks over at an angry Crossfire, who’s wrist-mounted gun is smoking.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Oh, dude. Totally forgot you were here.
CROSSFIRE
You have ruined everything!
5- Crossfire continues to point his gun at Deadpool. Deadpool has turned around and is looking at the bank’s entrance, off panel.
CROSSFIRE (CONT’D)
I am sick to death of you super freaks!
DEADPOOL
Oh hey, dude!
CROSSFIRE
Every heist. Every kidnapping. Foiled.
DEADPOOL
Dude!
CROSSFIRE
Everything I’ve ever done to further my--
DEADPOOL
Duuuuuude!
CROSSFIRE
What!?
6- Tight on Deadpool as he points over his shoulder toward the entrance. Outside the entrance are half a dozen police cars, lights flashing, and officers ready to fire.
DEADPOOL
Your ride’s here.
PAGE FIVE
1- EXT. EMPIRE STATE SAVINGS & LOAN - DAY
Over the shoulder’s of Deadpool and Spider-Man as they look at Crossfire in the back of a squad car. Half of Deadpool’s mask is missing, The result of being shot in the head.
SPIDER-MAN
So he shot you in the head, huh?
DEADPOOL
Yup.
2- Spider-Man and Deadpool continue talking. Deadpool slouches, looking depressed.
SPIDER-MAN
Healed up nicely.
DEADPOOL
I do that.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Where did you come from anyway?
SPIDER-MAN
Just swingin’ around, heard the sirens and hear I am.
DEADPOOL
Hooray.
3- Deadpool begins walking down the street.
SPIDER-MAN
Oh come on! Don’t be like that! You had it under control!
DEADPOOL
Until I got shot.
SPIDER-MAN
Well...yeah. Wait, why weren’t you armed? Don’t you usually have guns and
swords and such?
DEADPOOL
Your not supposed to take guns into a bank, moron. Even I know that.
4- Deadpool keeps walking away. An officer approaches Spider-Man.
SPIDER-MAN
I know what’ll cheer you up. Howzabout a team up?
DEADPOOL
Howzabout I leave the bank robberies to you and go kill the guy whose been bummin’ offa my cable?
5- The officer talks to Spider-Man. Deadpool is now off panel.
OFFICER
He’s kiddin’ right?
SPIDER-MAN
Yeah, yeah. He’s-- uh-- he’s just joking. He’s just--um--
6- Spider-Man takes off after Deadpool.
SPIDER-MAN (CONT’D)
Wade!
-Adam Davis
Twitter - https://twitter.com/TheAdamDavis
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Can anyone make a wish list?
"Sometimes you get what you want.
Sometimes you get experience."
-unknown
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