old script- Batman (2 styles)
here's the plot style I tried.
BATMAN – Part 1– PLOT STYLE –SOLO HERO
Black/White Colours. Batman squatting on floor, cape spread out and surrounded by complete mess, files, papers everywhere, chair overturned, hands outstretched in front of him, as if searching for something.
Night. Cold and windy but no rain. Batman’s cape flapping as he moves across roof after roof, stopping opposite large building, Hospital sign prominent. Only basic lighting around. Small numbers of people walking below, hunched up against biting cold, vapour from their mouths. Batman watches the scene below, lost in memories. He remembers going to see his parents in the hospital morgue. His thoughts switched to the purpose of his visit. He remembers her happy smile as she waved to him from the sailboat. He remembers the tears, screams and accusations she flung at him as he walked out the door. Batman closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them again, in control once again. He then looks around and then moves down to street level via drainpipe and then dashes across the street with flash of cape. His stance is less stern than usual, full of nervous energy. Looks up at hospital building from alleyway and using device, swings upwards to window ledge and continues until he reaches third floor. He scurries along the ledge and then stops. He attaches a listening device to the window, slips in the earpiece and adjusts dial. He remains hidden by the half light and a drawn curtain.
Female figure on hospital bed, surrounded by tubes and monitors. A young boy around ten to twelve years old sits back to window, holding patient’s hand and listening to patient talking, shoulders rigid. Batman slips earpiece in ear and listens in. The female patient’s voice is wracked with pain but determined to tell young boy something. Their conversation is interrupted by a nurse who checks monitors and makes notes on chart, addressing the female patient as Mrs Williamson. Both Mrs Williamson and young boy exchange superficial conversation with nurse who talks about weather briefly and asks if anything required before leaving room. Mrs Williamson heaves sigh of relief after nurse leaves and turns slowly to young boy who seems to be fighting back tears of anger. She refers to him as Thomas and tells him that his father was Bruce Wayne, wealthy philanthropist and CEO of Wayne Enterprises. Thomas sits up in shock, disbelieving what he has just heard. She nods weakly and mentions her lawyers and papers that will help clear up the mystery. Mrs Williamson closes eyes, clearly exhausted by this time. Thomas remains slumped in his chair. Next is close-up of Batman’s face appearing in half-light, frowning and then removing the listening device. He leaves the ledge quickly and heads to the street. Mrs Williamson shivers and asks Thomas to check on the window as she feels as if the cold air blowing into the room.
Batman calls Batmobile and gets into car, his mouth set. He hits the gears and the wheels spin, screeching. The car speeds madly through streets, causing some near-collusions. Street after Street, turning left and right for some time. Ends up in front of quiet, old office building and slips past half-asleep guard easily and picks lock to head into building. Dashing through corridors, avoiding the lifts, using stairs, sense of urgency. Batman stops in front of office door marked “Messrs. Jameson, Linford and Stevens. Law Firm” in plain black lettering. Batman picks locks and steps inside and looks around. Small office, four doors with lettering on the glass panel. Partners’ names on three doors and last one has Filing on it. Batman spins around, and heads towards last door. Opening the door, he turns on a flashlight and begins quietly searching amongst the filing cabinets, easily picking each lock. Finding what he wants, he removes the file and takes out a mini-camera and takes pictures of the contents. After that has been completed, he ensures that surrounding cabinets look normal and nothing has been disturbed. He leaves the office by the window, hearing voices out in the hallway. Easily lands in the street and gets back into the waiting Batmobile. Another quieter car dash through city and return to Bat Cave. He pulls off face mask and extracts disk from camera and slides into computer. Data appears on the screen. His face pales as he reads through the data. He hits a button on the keyboard and data stops scrolling across screen. Batman leans back in his chair and frowns. Ends with one line- Do I have a son? (fade out).
The script version (warning, 11-12 pages)
BATMAN – Part 1
Batman squatting on floor, surrounded by a pile of papers and open files in an dimly-lit office.
PANEL 1- Batman is on top of a building overlooking Gotham General, the city's largest hospital facility. Batman is standing, gazing down at the building below, as if in deep thought.
CAPTION 1: THE E-MAIL SAID THAT SHE WOULD BE ON THE THIRD FLOOR-ROOM 242 OF THE CANCER WARD.
CAPTION 2: IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE SEEN HER. I WONDER...
PANEL 2- Flashback scene, featuring a Pan-Asian woman on a sailboat. The woman is young and slim, long-haired, and wears an old fashioned bikini. She is smiling and waving towards the camera as if this scene were taken from an old home movie reel.
CAPTION- "SHE WAS SO LOVELY, SO FULL OF LIFE.”
CAPTION- “ UNTIL I PUSHED HER AWAY.”
PANEL 3- The same woman from the previous panel is in the foreground in this shot. She waves her arms in anger behind a man (Bruce) whose back is turned away from her. He is reaching for the door as if to exit.
WOMAN: Don't you dare walk away from me without an explanation!
CAPTION 1 (upper panel)- "I ALLOWED MY RESPONSIBILITES TO BLIND ME."
CAPTION 2 (Lower panel)- “I THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS THE BEST WAY TO PROTECT HER FROM THE LIFE I HAVE CHOSEN.”
Panel 4- Batman glides through the air, courtesy of his grapple gun, as he swings towards the hospital.
CAPTION: “ANCIENT HISTORY NOW.”
PANEL 5: The Dark Knight lands on the ledge outside of the third floor of the hospital, the shadow of darkness providing him concealment.
PANEL 6: Zoom in on Batman as he uses a listening device on the outer walls of the building.
PANEL 1- Same woman from earlier flashback but older on hospital bed, surrounded by tubes and monitors. A young boy around ten to twelve years old with a startling resemblance to Bruce Wayne sits back to window, holding patient’s hand in his, shoulders slumped.
PATIENT- TOMMY, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
PANEL 2- Boy’s cheek leaning on patient’s hand, turned to side and tear-streaked.. Patient looks in a great deal of pain, face ashen.
TOMMY- I DON’T WANT TO TALK, MOM. I JUST WANT YOU TO GET WELL AGAIN!
PATIENT- I KNOW, HUN BUT WE NEED TO TALK.
TOMMY- MOM, WE CAN BEAT THIS! I DON’T WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME!
PANEL 3- Tommy fighting back the tears whilst patient’s hand on his head, stroking hair.
PATIENT- TOMMY, I AM SO TIRED.. SO MUCH PAIN..
TOMMY-MOM, PLEASE.. TRY..
PANEL 4- Patient smiles resignedly at the boy and pats his hand. The boy is struggling with his tears, trying to hold them in check.
PATIENT- TOMMY, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
TOMMY- WHAT ABOUT DAD?
PANEL 5- Tommy staring at his mother, looking confused.
PATIENT- THE MAN YOU KNOW AS YOUR FATHER ADOPTED YOU AFTER WE WERE MARRIED.
TOMMY- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MOM? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
PATIENT- HE LOVED YOU AS IF YOU WERE HIS OWN. BUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOU BEFORE I MARRIED FRANK WILLIAMSON.
PANEL 1- Patient pauses here, her face sad and tears running down.. Tommy quiet, trying to come to terms with what he is hearing.
PATIENT- FRANK WAS SUCH A KIND, LOVING MAN. I WISH I HAD TOLD HIM HOW MUCH I CARED FOR HIM WHEN HE WAS ALIVE
PANEL 2- Tommy’s face is full of confusion. He’s scared about what he’s hearing. His mother takes his hand, holding it tightly.
PATIENT- YOUR REAL FATHER’S NAME IS BRUCE WAYNE.
TOMMY- BRUCE WAYNE? THAT RICH GUY? BUT HOW?
PATIENT- HE.. I…WE ONCE LOVED EACH OTHER VERY MUCH.
PANEL 3- Tommy griping his mother’s hand tightly whilst she strokes his head. Both faces are tear-streaked.
TOMMY- DOES HE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME?
PATIENT- I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO SEE HIM AGAIN SO HE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU YET.
PANEL 4- Tommy turns head on side, questioning expression.
TOMMY- YET? ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM?
PATIENT- PLEASE GO TO MY BEDSIDE DRAWER, TOMMY. THERE IS AN LETTER THERE I WANT YOU TO HAVE.
PANEL 5- We see Tommy at bedside drawer, hand half-out with sheet of paper. In background, we see Batman at window still, this time with binoculars in front of his eyes.
PANEL 1- Tommy is back at bed, offering sheet of paper in direction of his mother who doesn’t take it.
PATIENT- YOU REMEMBER MR. JAMESON, MY LAWYER?
TOMMY- YES. THAT OLD GUY WHO ALWAYS GAVE ME CANDY WHEN I SAW HIM.
PATIENT (smiling) – YES, THAT’S HIM. THIS LETTER WILL TELL YOU HOW TO REACH HIM. HE WILL HELP YOU FIND YOUR REAL FATHER AFTER I AM GONE.
PANEL 2- Tommy still looks confused but he is reading the letter. His mother is looking at him with a sad but tender expression.
TOMMY- BUT MOM..
PATIENT- SHHH, BABY, IT’S OK. DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING. IT’S ALL BEEN TAKEN CARE OF.
PANEL 3- Patient is clearly exhausted. Tommy holds her hand with his right hand whilst his left hand is gripping letter.
PATIENT- NOW COME HERE AND HUG YOUR MOMMA
PANEL 4- Tommy and his mother are embracing and she has her hand on his head. The letter is on the bed.
TOMMY- I LOVE YOU MOM.
PATIENT- I LOVE YOU TOO, BABY.
PANEL 5- We return to Batman sitting on ledge, with both binoculars and listening device in his hands, face frowning.
CAPTION - THE LETTER NAMES MESSRS JAMESON, LINFORD AND STEVENS AS THE LAW FIRM BUT I COULDN’T SEE THE ADDRESS.
PANEL 1- It is starting to rain now as Batman lands near the Batmobile, grappling gun in hand. He looks grim.
CAPTION- SO MESSRS. JAMESON, LINFORD AND STEVENS, WHERE ARE YOU HIDING?
PANEL 2- Batman is in car, his mouth set. One hand is on keyboard whilst he’s driving, fast.
BATMAN- I NEED TO FIND THIS LAW FIRM FAST. KEYING IN NAME NOW.
PANEL 3- Screen in car displaying data. Batman has both hands on steering wheel, turning around car.
BATMAN- THANK YOU, O.
ORACLE- WHAT’S GOING ON, BATMAN?
BATMAN- IT’S PERSONAL, O.
PANEL 4- We see Batmobile at fast speed going through dark streets.
CAPTION- IT’S VERY PERSONAL.
PANEL 5- Batman is now out of car in front of quiet, old office building
CAPTION- GOTHAM’S WALDORF BOULEVARD. REEKS OF RESPECTABILITY. SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT PLACE FOR A LAW FIRM.
PANEL 1- Batman is in now room with filing cabinets all around, some drawers open. A window is open in the background, curtains blowing in breeze. Batman has torchlight in hand and he is rummaging in a drawer of filing cabinet.
CAPTION- WALLIS..WEBBER.. AHH, WILLIAMSON. FRANK AND NATALIA WILLIAMSON.
PANEL 2- Batman has a mini-camera in hand and taking pictures of the contents. Flashbulb going off. He looks thoughtful.
PANEL 3- Batman is half out of window and room, his grappling gun out in his hand. Filing cabinents are all neat and back to normal. Voices are heard outside.
VOICE #1 - WHAT WAS THAT? DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
VOICE # 2- NAWW, DIDN’T HEAR NUFFIN. YOU IMAGINING THINGS AGAIN.
PANEL 4- we see the Batmobile zooming through a street, the rain pelting down around the car.
PANEL 5- Batman is back in the Bat Cave. Camera is attached by cable to a computer and data is scrolling up on a computer screen. His face mask is off although he is still dressed as Batman.
CAPTION- SOME TIME LATER AT THE BATCAVE...
PANEL 6- His face is pale but frowning as he leans back in his chair, looking at the data now frozen on screen.
CAPTION- DO I HAVE A SON?
PANEL 1- In Batcave. Batman is still at computer. Alfred in background, carrying a tray of sandwiches and tea.
PANEL 2- Alfred now next to Batman. Batman is very engrossed with what’s on the computer screen.
ALFRED- AHEM! EXCUSE ME, MASTER BRUCE.
BATMAN- I AM SORRY, ALFRED, WHAT WAS THAT?
ALFRED- I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF PREPARING A LIGHT MEAL FOR YOU, MASTER BRUCE. WOULD YOU LIKE IT NOW? .
BATMAN- THANK YOU, ALFRED. SOME TEA WOULD BE NICE. .
PANEL 3- Alfred has placed tray on table and is now pouring a cup of tea. His attention is caught by picture of boy and mother on the screen, but remains quiet.
ALFRED- DIFFICULT CASE, MASTER BRUCE?
BATMAN- IN SOME WAYS, YES, ALFRED.
AFLRED- I SEE. YOUR TEA, SIR?
PANEL 4- Alfred has moved next to Batman and is holding out cup of tea.
BATMAN- THANK YOU ALFRED.
ALFRED- I PREPARED SOME SANDWICHES AS WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME NOW, MASTER BRUCE?
BATMAN- IN A MOMENT. ALFRED, DO YOU REMEMBER MY MENTIONING A YOUNG WOMAN BY THE NAME OF NATALIA LEE?
ALFRED- THE NAME DOES RING A BELL, SIR.
PANEL 5- Batman is leaning back in chair, sipping tea. Alfred looks more closely at the picture.
BATMAN- YES, ALFRED. IT CONCERNS HER AND HER SON. SHE IS NOW A WIDOW AND UNFORTUNATELY SUFFERING FROM BREAST CANCER.
ALFRED- OH, THAT IS SAD. THIS PICTURE IS OF NATALIA AND HER SON?
BATMAN- IT IS. I WENT TO SEE HER TONIGHT.
ALFRED- AHH, I SEE. I TAKE IT SOMETHING UNTOWARD HAPPENED WHILE YOU WERE VISITING?
PANEL 1- Batman gives a sardonic smile. Alfred raises an eyebrow.
BATMAN- YOU COULD SAY THAT ALFRED. SHE WAS TALKING TO HER SON, TOMMY WHILE I WAS THERE. APPARENTLY…
ALFRED- YES, MASTER BRUCE?
BATMAN- APPARENTLY, HE IS…MY SON.
PANEL 2- Alfred’s face shocked out of usual impassivity. Batman does not look him in the eye, focusing instead on the computer screen.
BATMAN- I MANAGED TO GET A COPY OF THE LAWYERS’ FILES. I FOUND A FEW ITEMS OF INTEREST.
PANEL 3- Alfred turns to the screen whilst Batman taps a key on the keyboard.
BATMAN- NATALIA LEE FIRST WENT TO WORK FOR A COMPANY NAMED GENETICOR, NOT LONG AFTER SHE AND I .. WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS.
BATMAN- THE FILE STATES THAT SHE WAS FIVE TO SIX MONTHS PREGNANT BEFORE SHE MARRIED FRANK WILLIAMSON, A COLLEAGUE.
PANEL 4- Alfred nods whilst handing a plate full of sandwiches to Batman. Batman has a sandwich in his hand while other is scrolling with mouse.
ALFRED- SOUNDS ABOVE BOARD THOUGH, MASTER BRUCE.
BATMAN- AHH, WELL, THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. GENETICOR SPECIALISES IN “DESIGNER BABIES” AND GENETIC ENGINEERING AND SHE DID GIVE BIRTH AT THEIR FACILITY, WHICH IS UNUSUAL.
ALFRED- SO WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT?
PANEL 5- Alfred has now taken up empty sandwich plate. Batman is smiling grimly as the computer screen turns off.
BATMAN- I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME TO PAY GENETICOR A VISIT.
PANEL 1- Daytime. Bruce Wayne, dressed in a sharp suit, at his office desk with Lucius Fox. Lucius is beside him, papers on desk, Wayne poised to sign documents.
BRUCE- YES, MILICENT?
VOICE- I APOLOGISE FOR BOTHERING YOU, MR. WAYNE BUT A MR. JAMESON FROM JAMESON, LINFORD AND STEVENS HAS CALLED REPEATEDLY AND IS INSISTING ON MEETING YOU.
BRUCE- VERY WELL, MILICENT. SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT FOR TODAY.
VOICE- YES, MR. WAYNE.
PANEL 2- Wayne still in office, reading through documents. Sunlight behind him, looks about mid-day.
CAPTION- LATER THAT DAY..
BRUCE- YES, MILICENT?
VOICE- MR. JAMESON HAS ARRIVED, MR. WAYNE. SHALL I SHOW HIM IN NOW?
BRUCE- YES, THANK YOU. AND, MILICENT, PLEASE ORDER SOME COFFEE.
VOICE- CERTAINLY, MR. WAYNE.
PANEL 3- Door to office half-closed while a small, compact, grey-haired man shakes Bruce’s proffered hand.
JAMESON- THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME SO PROMPTLY, MR. WAYNE. I REALISE THIS WAS DREADFULLY SHORT NOTICE BUT IT WAS IMPERATIVE THAT I MEET YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
BRUCE- WHAT MAY I DO FOR YOU, MR. JAMESON?
JAMESON- IT CONCERNS A CERTAIN LADY WHO WAS ONCE A DEAR FRIEND OF YOURS, NATALIA LEE.
PANEL 4- Mr. Jameson now sitting down in chair opposite Bruce. Coffee cups on a tray on the desk. Bruce is leaning back in chair, fingers steepled.
BRUCE- AND WHAT ABOUT HER, MR. JAMESON?
JAMESON- SHE WAS SUFFERING FROM BREAST CANCER AND LAST NIGHT, SHE SUCCUMBED TO THE ILLNESS.
BRUCE- LAST NIGHT?
JAMESON- YES, MR. WAYNE. THE FUNERAL WILL BE TOMORROW MORNING, 11AM AT GOTHAM CEMETARY.
PANEL 5- Bruce is clearly shocked and stares at Mr. Jameson who looks sad but composed.
JAMESON- SHE LEFT A LETTER FOR YOU, MR. WAYNE AND SHE HAS ALSO NAMED YOU GUARDIAN OF HER SON, THOMAS FRANKLIN WILLIAMSON IN HER WILL.
BRUCE- GUARDIAN? BUT..
PANEL 1- Mr. Jameson places a sealed envelope with a business card on top on the desk. Bruce does not take it.
JAMESON- HERE ARE THE LETTER, MY CARD. HER INSTRUCTIONS WERE QUITE CLEAR.
BRUCE- THANK YOU, MR. JAMESON. YOU MUST FORGIVE ME, THIS COMES AS QUITE A SHOCK.
JAMESON- I UNDERSTAND, MR. WAYNE. PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT ME REGARDING THE YOUNG LAD’S GUARDIANSHIP DETAILS.
BRUCE- THANK YOU, MR. JAMESON. I WILL CERTAINLY BE IN TOUCH.
PANEL 2- Mr. Jameson has left and Bruce is alone, he is looking out the window, the sunlight streaming into the office.
CAPTION- I ONLY SAW HER LAST NIGHT. I NEVER EXPECTED… SO SOON.
PANEL 3- Bruce hits button on phone, his face grim, shadows running across his face reminiscent of Batman’s mask.
BRUCE- MILICENT? I NEED MY CAR. PLEASE ARRANGE FOR A WREATH TO BE SENT. I WILL PROVIDE YOU THE ADDRESS WHEN I LEAVE.
VOICE- RIGHT AWAY, MR. WAYNE.
PANEL 4- Bruce is in the limousine, holding letter in hand, still unopened.
CAPTION- I WONDER WHY SHE MADE ME GUARDIAN.
PANEL 5- At Wayne Manor. Alfred is holding Bruce’s coat while Bruce, still holding the letter, is getting into a chair in the lounge area.
ALFRED- GOOD DAY AT THE OFFICE, MASTER BRUCE?
BRUCE- NOT REALLY, ALFRED. NATALIA PASSED AWAY LAST NIGHT.
ALFRED- I AM SORRY, MASTER BRUCE. WILL YOU BE GOING TO THE FUNERAL?
BRUCE- YES, ALFRED. TOMORROW MORNING. PLEASE MAKE THE NECESSARY ARRANGEMENTS.
PANEL 6- Alfred has left the room. Bruce is alone, has placed letter on side of table, still hasn’t read it. Half-light (Dusk).
CAPTION- TOMORROW I WILL MEET … MY SON…
PANEL 1- In Gotham Cemetery. Mid-morning.The weather is clear and fine, with a light breeze. A small crowd of people are gathered around an open grave with a coffin waiting to be lowered, a pastor is speaking from the Bible clutched in his hand. A row of chairs is on one side of grave.
PASTOR- ASHES TO ASHES, DUST TO DUST….
PANEL 2- In the row of chairs, close-up shot of Tommy in a dark suit, all hunched up and looking very young, small and scared. He has a bunch of red tulips on his lap. Next to him to the left is Mr. Jameson who has a fatherly hand on Tommy’s shoulder.
TOMMY(TEARFUL WHISPER)- MOM…
PANEL 3- Tommy leaning against Jameson, crying. Further in the background under a large tree, a dark figure (in hat and coat) hidden in half-shadow stands, as if unsure to come close.
PANEL 4- funeral over and grave covered now with fresh earth but Tommy and Mr. Jameson remain. Bruce Wayne is nearer the grave now but still isn’t seen by Tommy and Mr. Jameson. We now see that he is also holding a bouquet of red tulips.
JAMESON- TOMMY, WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. THERE WILL BE PEOPLE WAITING AT HOME FOR US.
TOMMY- I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME, MR. JAMESON.
JAMESON- TELL YOU WHAT, TOMMY, I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE SO YOU CAN SAY A PROPER GOODBYE TO YOUR MOM BEFORE WE HEAD HOME, ALL RIGHT?
TOMMY- (SNIFF) OK…
PANEL 5- Mr. Jameson is now in background, waiting for Tommy. Tommy has just laid the red tulips on the grave and is talking quietly to himself. Bruce is watching him closely from his hidden spot.
TOMMY- LOOK, MOM, I BROUGHT YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWERS.
TOMMY- WHEN SPRING COMES, I CAN PLANT SOME PRETTY FLOWERS SO YOU CAN ALWAYS SEE THEM FROM….HEAVEN….I..I…
TOMMY (BREAKING DOWN)- I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MOM.
PANEL 1- We find Tommy, his hair ruffled by breeze, on his knees next to his mother’s grave, one hand wiping away his tears. Mr. Jameson hovering around behind him . Bruce Wayne hasn’t come over yet, still in distance.
TOMMY- I LOVE YOU, MOM AND I WON’T SAY GOODBYE COS I WILL COME BACK HERE TO VISIT YOU SOON, OK?
TOMMY (SNIFFS)- I AM DONE NOW, MR. JAMESON.
PANEL 2- Profile shot of Bruce in the foreground, his face in shadow. He's kneeling at the grave to place a bouquet of red tulips at the grave. In the background, we see Mr. Jameson and Tommy, walking away backs to us, huddled close together. A large tree is in background. Leaves floating by in a gentle breeze.
PANEL 3- Close-up on Bruce, his head bowed. Still at grave.
CAPTION- I AM SO SORRY..
PANEL 4- Looks like a private residence, flamboyant furnishing and colours. Off to one side, you see half a buffet table, laden with food. Tommy and Mr. Jameson are sitting on a sofa, the boy looks forlorn and lost. Close-up. Across the floor, just to the left of them, a shadow falls..
CAPTION- SOME TIME LATER…
PANEL 5- Mr. Jameson half-turned in his seat, Tommy looking up off-panel to the left, his eyes narrowed.
JAMESON- AHH, MR. WAYNE. I AM GLAD THAT YOU MANAGED TO COME.
BRUCE (STILL OFF-PANEL)- I HAD TO.
JAMESON- AND THIS YOUNG LAD HERE IS TOMMY.
BRUCE- HELLO, TOMMY.
PANEL 6- We see Bruce half in the panel, half light, half shadow, his hand outstretched. Tommy is frowning, his hand also outstretched.. Mr. Jameson is slightly apart from them, in background.
TOMMY- YOU’RE BRUCE WAYNE, AREN’T YOU?
TOMMY- MOM TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU.
TOMMY- YOU’RE MY DAD, AREN’T YOU?
PANEL 1- Mr. Jameson is taken aback. Bruce remains quiet, inscrutable, his hand is back at his side. Tommy looks accusingly at Bruce, his hands are now twitching nervously together.
BRUCE- THAT’S ALL RIGHT, MR. JAMESON.
PANEL 2- Bruce has kneeled down, facing Tommy who looks at him in nervous anticipation.
BRUCE- TOMMY, ALL I KNOW RIGHT NOW IS THAT YOUR MOTHER MADE ME YOUR LEGAL GUARDIAN. THAT MEANS THAT I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE WELL LOOKED AFTER.
TOMMY- BUT WHAT ABOUT…
BRUCE- AS FOR ME BEING YOUR FATHER, TOMMY, I DON’T KNOW. LET US BEGIN BY JUST LEARNING TO BE FRIENDS, ALL RIGHT?
PANEL 3- An older woman comes over and takes Tommy by the hand. She gives Mr. Jameson a glare. Bruce looks on, a little smile of amusement on his face.
WOMAN- MARCUS JAMESON! IT IS TIME FOR TOMMY TO HAVE A REST. IT’S BEEN A DREADFUL DAY FOR US ALL AND HE COULD USE THE PEACE AND QUIET!
JAMESON- CERTAINLY, MY LOVE.
TOMMY (SHYLY)- SEE YOU LATER, MR. WAYNE?
BRUCE- SURE, TOMMY.
PANEL 4- Mr. Jameson looks keenly at Bruce who watches Tommy and Mrs. Williamson go up the stairs. Tommy peeks down from behind Mrs. Jameson’s shoulder.
JAMESON- MR. WAYNE, I MUST APOLOGISE FOR MY WIFE’S ABRUPT INTERRUPTION THERE. SHE WAS ALWAYS VERY FOND OF TOMMY AND HIS MOTHER.
BRUCE- NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY, MR. JAMESON.
JAMESON- MAY I SUGGEST WE GO SOMEWHERE MORE PRIVATE? I THINK YOU HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FOR HIM, MR. WAYNE?
BRUCE- EXCELLENT SUGGESTION, MR. JAMESON.
PANEL 5- Both the men are now in a library. Furnishings are blurred in half shadow. A fire burns in the fireplace. Mr. Jameson is seated on a comfy leather chair while Bruce is leaning against the mantelpiece, looking into the flames.
JAMESON- MR. WAYNE, I WILL ADMIT THAT I KNOW OF YOUR… HISTORY WITH NATALIA BUT I HAVE TO SAY THAT I HAD NO INKLING OF.. TOMMY’S PATERNITY. SHE WAS MOST RETICENT ON THAT SCORE.
BRUCE- SHE WASN’T ALWAYS SO GUARDED.
JAMESON- NO, PERHAPS NOT. IT WAS AFTER HER TRIP TO JAPAN, WE HAD NOTICED THE CHANGES IN HER.
BRUCE- YOU HAD KNOWN HER LONG?
PANEL 1- Same position as before but Bruce is now facing Mr. Jameson.
JAMESON- OUR FIRM HAS BEEN DEALING WITH THE LEE FAMILY FOR A LONG TIME. WE DID ALSO MINGLE SOCIALLY WHENEVER THE LEES WERE IN AMERICA SO I GOT TO KNOW NATALIA AND HER FAMILY VERY WELL.
BRUCE- MR. JAMESON..
JAMESON- CALL ME MARCUS, PLEASE.
BRUCE- MARCUS… WHEN DID YOU FIND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH TOMMY?
JAMESON- IT WAS.. OH, GOODNESS..A LITTLE WHILE AFTER HER TRIP TO JAPAN.
PANEL 2- Bruce contemplative. Mr. Jameson looks up at Bruce curiously.
BRUCE- I SEE. IS THIS AFTER OR BEFORE SHE WENT TO WORK FOR GENETICOR?
JAMESON- HMM… I THINK AFTER…
BRUCE- WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT GENETICOR? IT SEEMS AN UNUSUAL PLACE FOR NATALIA TO WORK.
PANEL 3- Mr. Jameson looks into his brandy balloon, almost as if avoiding Bruce’s eye. Bruce looking directly at him, the fire is burning lower, the room’s shadow seem to lengthen.
JAMESON (NERVOUSLY)- WELL, MR. WAYNE,
BRUCE- BRUCE, PLEASE.
JAMESON- YES, OF COURSE. BRUCE, GENETICOR IS .. AN UNUSUAL PLACE CERTAINLY. NATALIA WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT HER TIME THERE MUCH BUT SHE MET HER HUSBAND, FRANK THERE. HE WAS A GOOD AND KIND MAN.
BRUCE- YES, I HAD HEARD THAT. WHAT DOES GENETICOR DO EXACTLY?
PANEL 4- Mr. Jameson gulping down brandy. Unusual for him. Bruce looks at him curiously.
JAMESON- THE USUAL GENETIC ENGINEERING. LEGITIMATE THINGS. I AM NOT ENTIRELY SURE.
BRUCE- WHAT DID NATALIA AND HER HUSBAND DO THERE, MARCUS?
JAMESON- FRANK WAS A GENETICIST WHILE NATALIA.. WAS… HIS EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT I BELIEVE.
BRUCE- I SEE.
PANEL 5- Mr. Jameson has got up from his chair and is at a small bar, filling up his glass. Bruce is now seated in a leather chair opposite to the one where Mr. Jameson was sat.
BRUCE- EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, MARCUS?
JAMESON- HMM, WHAT WAS THAT? OH, YES, YES.. FINE..STRESSFUL DAY YOU KNOW.
BRUCE- THEN I MUSTNT INTRUDE ON YOUR TIME ANY LONGER, MARCUS. I WILL BE IN TOUCH REGARDING THE BOY’S GUARDIANSHIP.
JAMESON- YES, YES, OF COURSE. THANK YOU FOR COMING, BRUCE.
PANEL 6- Room door is ajar slightly. Mr. Jameson appears to be alone and has returned to his chair, nursing his brandy balloon.
JAMESON (MUTTERS)- I HOPE HE ISN’T GETTING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT GENETICOR. HE MUSN’T KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT TOMMY.
JAMESON- OH, WHY DID NATALIA TELL TOMMY THAT BRUCE WAS HIS FATHER? IT WOULD RAISE TOO MANY QUESTIONS… QUESTIONS I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER..
PANEL 7- Jameson has buried his hands in his face. He is slumped over and dejected. Bruce’s face is in the doorway, barely visible in the flickering firelight.
CAPTION- TIME TO VISIT GENETICOR.
PANEL 1- We now see the Batmobile cruising on a road leading away from Gotham. You can the twinkling lights of the Gotham skyline on the background.
BATMAN– O? DID YOU FIND MUCH ON GENETICOR?
ORACLE- NO. GENETICOR LISTS REPRODUCTIVE AND GENETIC ENGINEERING AS ITS MAIN AREA OF BUSINESS. SENDING YOU LOCATION AND BUILDING PLANS NOW.
BATMAN- REPRODUCTIVE ENGINEERING? INTERESTING, VERY INTERESTING. THANK YOU, O.
PANEL 2- Small side road. Dimly lit. Batmobile hidden within the trees, lights off. Batman is next to the car, binoculars to his eyes.
CAPTION- HMMM. VERY TIGHT SECURITY. LOOKS LIKE A PRISON THAN A LAB.
PANEL 3- Batman has sneaked up to the woods surrounding the perimeter of Geneticor Labs. The buildings are pure white, search lights swinging back and forth, looks very menacing.
CAPTION- FRIENDLY PLACE.
PANEL 4- Armed guard walking along the woods with a canine unit. The dog is sniffing the air, as if he smelt an intruder. The guard has large torchlight which he is shining ahead of him.
GUARD- HMM. NOTHING THERE THAT I CAN SEE.
PANEL 5- The wall behind the guard who is still searching the woods, a shaft cover is being closed by a gloved hand..
GUARD- MUST HAVE BEEN SOME ANIMAL. C’MON, BOY, LETS GO.
PANEL 1- Batman is crawling through a ventilation shaft, shafts of light appearing behind and in front of him.
CAPTION- ACCORDING TO THE BUILDING PLANS, THERE SHOULD BE A STORAGE ROOM THAT LEADS INTO THE MAIN COMPOUND.
PANEL 2 – Batman halted in front of one opening, a small metal plate with numbering on it is next to it.
CAPTION- THIS SHOULD BE IT..
PANEL 3- Batman has come out of the vent opening and is looking furtively around him. He is just behind some storage boxes, therefore partially hidden.
CAPTION- CAMERA MOVES POSITION EVERY ONE MINUTE…
PANEL 4- We see the camera in the far corner of the ceiling. The room has nothing but shelving and boxes all around.
CAPTION- …HAVE TO TIME THIS RIGHT.
PANEL 5- Batman sneaking across floor, camera facing opposite direction.
PANEL 6 – Batman is flat against wall nearest door as camera has now changed direction to where he was previously standing. The door is being opened, a hand on the door knob.
VOICE- I AM JUST GONNA GET THOSE LAST BOXES, JOE. SEE YA IN THE CAFETERIA WHEN I AM DONE.
DISTANT VOICE- OK, BOB, SEE YA LATER.
PANEL 1- A tall, heavily-built man dressed in coveralls with a cap with Geneticor logo on the back of his coveralls and cap, has entered the room with a piece of paper also in his hand. Leaves door ajar while he is looking at the shelves.
MAN- I NEED ORDER 256…LEMME SEE… 250, 251…
PANEL 2 – Man has found the box he was looking for, his hand on it. The door remains ajar but you see the ends of a cape leaving through it.
MAN- HUH? WHAT WAS THAT?
PANEL 3- Man turned around, hand still on box but everything looks normal.
MAN- GEEZ, THIS PLACE HAS GOT ME ALL JUMPY. I BETTER GET OUTTA HERE.
PANEL 4- We see the man walking along the corridor, carrying a medium-sized box. The door is finally closed. We see Batman crouched down around the corner from the room.
CAPTION- THE DATA CENTRE IS SIX ROOMS DOWN. FOUR CAMERAS.
PANEL 5- We see Batman take out several small electrical bug-shapeddevice from his utility belt.
CAPTION- THIS OUGHT TO SETTLE THOSE CAMERAS.
PANEL 6 – Batman has small blowpipe to mouth, device flying through air towards security camera. 1 camera already has a bug attached to the main part of the camera, its’ legs dug in.
CAPTION- THE BUG SHOULD GIVE ME ENOUGH TIME TO GET TO THE DATA CENTRE BEFORE THE GUARDS NOTICE ANY GLITCH.
PANEL 1- Batman at entrance of Data Center (has Data Center in black on the glass doors). He has another device on the electronic lock.
CAPTION- TEN.. NINE.. EIGHT…SEVEN… SIX…
PANEL 2- Batman is in the Data Center, Computer screens and units everywhere. It’s deserted, except for two men. One of them is a blond man, the other is Mr. Jameson.
CAPTION- JAMESON! WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
PANEL 3- Mr. Jameson is dishevelled and looks tense. The blond man is very calm and he seems to be trying to reassure Mr. Jameson. Both men are speaking clearly, confident of not being overhead.
JAMESON- DR. LAZARUS, THIS MR. WAYNE IS GETTING SUSPICIOUS. HE’S BEEN ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT TOMMY. I KNOW HE’S GOING TO START SNOOPING AROUND!
BLOND MAN- MARCUS, MARCUS, CALM YOURSELF. MR.WAYNE IS A FABULOUSLY WEALTHY SOCIALITE, WHY WOULD HE BOTHER ABOUT AN EX-GIRLFRIEND’S CHILD?
JAMESON- NATALIA MADE HIM LEGAL GUARDIAN TO TOMMY. SHE..SHE TOLD TOMMY THAT WAYNE WAS HIS FATHER BEFORE SHE DIED.
BLOND MAN- NO MATTER, MARCUS. IT WILL SOON CEASE TO BE ANY PROBLEM OF OURS.
PANEL 4- Jameson looks surprised while Dr. Lazarus looks mildly amused by Jameson’s concerns. We see Batman listening in on their conversation, tucked between two large computer units.
JAMESON- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DR. LAZARUS?
DOCTOR- TOMMY HAS AN .. SHALL WE SAY..EXPIRY DATE ATTACHED TO HIM. ALL OUR.. SPECIMENS..DO. IT IS UNFORTUNATE, IT REMAINS A LIMITATION OF OUR TECHNOLOGY.
JAMESON- DR. LAZARUS? WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO TOMMY?
DOCTOR- HE WILL MERELY.. CEASE TO EXIST, MARCUS. COME ALONG NOW, CALM YOURSELF.
PANEL 5- Jameson and Dr. Lazarus have left the Data Center. Batman is now hooking a small device to a port on the nearest computer unit, while remaining hidden.
CAPTION- ONCE I HAVE THIS DATA DOWNLOADED, I NEED TO GET TO TOMMY, FAST!
PANEL 1- Batman sneaks out the corridor and runs into one of the guards.
GUARD- WHAT THE….
PANEL 2- An unconscious guard crumpled on the floor. Batman now races back to the supply room. Red lights flashing everywhere.
PANEL 3- Batman slips through door to supply room, just as you see guards running down corridor.
PANEL 4- Guards in the corridors. Batman nowhere to be seen.
GUARD- SPREAD OUT, LOOK FOR THE INTRUDER!
PANEL 5- Batman is back in the ventilation shaft, crawling quickly.
PANEL 6- Batman is out of the ventilation shaft and meets the guard with the canine unit.
GUARD- HEY! STOP!
PANEL 7- Batman tosses a gas canister from his utility belt as he dodges the guard who is just releasing the dog from its leash.
PANEL 1- the Batmobile appears tyres squealing and Batman leaps into the open hood.
GUARD- COUGH, COUGH, HE’S OUT HERE, COUGH COUGH.. STOP!
PANEL 2- Batman is in the car and the device is now hooked up to the car’s computer. We see Batman’s expression of horror.
CAPTION- I NEED TO GET TO TOMMY RIGHT NOW!
PANEL 3- Outside of Batmobile, moving at devastating speed, headlights streaking in front.
CAPTION- THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
PANEL 4- Back in Gotham, in residential area. Batmobile screeches to a halt outside a big house with gates with a security camera and intercom on the side.
PANEL 5- Batman is leaping over the wall into the house grounds.
CAPTION- I HOPE I AM NOT TOO LATE…
PANEL 1- Batman has reached the house and kicks the front doors down.
CAPTION- NO TIME FOR FINESSE.
PANEL 2- Batman running upstairs, past the startled maid.
PANEL 3- Batman is standing in room doorway, standing still. Small figure on bed. the Jamesons are next to bed, Dr. Lazarus is also there, nearer the huge windows. Another doctor is holding figure’s wrist.
BATMAN- I WILL TAKE OVER FROM HERE.
PANEL 4- Mr. Jameson looks horrified and is half-standing up from bed. Mrs. Jameson is crying. Dr. Lazarus steps out in front of Batman.
DOCTOR- I DON’T THINK SO, BATMAN. IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU TO SAVE HIM.
BATMAN- BETTER THAN WHAT YOU DID TO HIM, DR. LAZARUS!
DOCTOR- I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, BATMAN. I MERELY OBLIGED A REQUEST.
PANEL 5- Batman has Tommy in his arms now, half-way out the door.
BATMAN- YOU MAKE ME SICK….
PANEL 1- Batman has Tommy slumped in the seat next to him in the Batmobile.
BATMAN- HOLD ON, TOMMY, WE WILL GET YOU WELL AGAIN.
TOMMY- UHHH….FEEL SO SLEEPY….
PANEL 2- Tommy is lying on a bed now, Alfred is fussing over him while Bruce Wayne is in background, adjusting his shirt buttons.
ALFRED- I AM SORRY MASTER BRUCE… IT’S TOO LATE…
BRUCE- THERE MUST BE SOMETHING…
ALFRED- NO, MASTER BRUCE. WE’VE DONE ALL WE CAN.
PANEL 3-Bruce is on his knees next to Tommy whose face is waxy and near death. He is holding the boy’s hand.
TOMMY- I CAN SEE MOM AND DAD, THEY ARE SMILING, WAITING FOR ME…
PANEL 4- Bruce is slumped down in a chair near a fireplace. Alfred handing him a glass with dark liquid.
ALFRED- MASTER BRUCE?
BRUCE- HE WASN’T MY SON, ALFRED. HE WAS “DESIGNED” TO LOOK LIKE ME, NATALIA WANTED IT THAT WAY AND GENETICOR GAVE HER THAT WISH.
BRUCE- THESE DESIGNER BABIES HAVE ONE MAJOR FLAW..THEY CAN’T LIVE PAST THEIR TENTH BIRTHDAY…. TODAY WAS TOMMY’S …TENTH BIRTHDAY… .
PANEL 5- At Gotham Cemetary. Night. One large gravestone, names on the gravestone-Frank Williamson, Natalia Lee-Williamson and Thomas Franklin Williamson. Red tulips scattered all over the grave. Batman is looking at the grave, cape flapping in wind, rain falling.
CAPTION- I WAS TOO LATE……
ok, on the first post 3rd page, there seemed just too much in that panel
but you shine through on the 2nd post with your v.detailed script, though I find the dialogue sections in say page 2 to be too much, just thinking as what it'd look like I feel as though there'd be too much dialogue in the way of the images. But that would remain to be seen.
Overall A+ for storytelling, but a C+ for narrative I'm afraid based on the story and sigificance