The Super Soldiers: For Critique

[Nazihunter88]

This is an very short outline for a comic idea I have. Please tell me what you think of it. Thanks!


Who :

Protagonist – Dwight D. Eisenhower, Viggo Mayhew

Antagonist – Adolf Hitler

Good Guys – The Allies; USA, Japan, England, France, Russia, the majority of Germany, Israel, Turkey, India

Bad Guys – The Axis; Italy, Spain, some of Germany, Vietnam, North Korea, Nazis, Nazi Super Soldiers, China, the bad nations in the mid-east, Terrorists


What:

An undercover group of Neo-Nazis and Mid East Terrorists resurrect Adolf Hitler and give him superhuman powers. He then becomes head of the Nazi/Terrorist group and begins to resurrect other dead dictators of the past, including Stalin, Hirohito, Napoleon, Wilhelm II, Mussolini, Franco, and many others. In addition, Hitler gives all leaders opposing the Allies superpowers. Soon, all soldiers of the Axis have to go through the change from human to superhuman. Hitler soon conquers the entire world except the US. He calls his new empire the Fourth Reich. Knowing they have no other choice, the United States begins to conduct experiments on the dead, while Hitler’s super army creeps even further. The United States finally successfully resurrects a soldier from WWII; a 5-star general named Dwight D. Eisenhower. During the experiment, the US adorns Eisenhower with so much power, he is the only one in the world equal to Hitler. Afterwards, the US rapidly gives every soldier superhuman abilities. One of the thousands of soldiers is named Viggo Mayhew. The plot revolves around Eisenhower, Mayhew, Hitler, and Hitler’s underlings.


When:

The story takes place during the year 2005; 60 years after Hitler’s death.


Where:

It takes place all over the world.


Why:

The groups of Neo Nazis and Mid East Terrorists each have separate intentions. The Nazis plan to use the terrorists to win the war, then after victory, turn against the terrorists and conquer them. The terrorists wish to get rid of Isrial, India, Turkey, and the United States, along with every other infidel nation existing. After victory, they plan to act sympathetic to the conquered nations and to gain their support. They then plan to overthrow Hitler and his Fourth Reich, and rule a infidel free world.





I will post the begining of my story for Critique very soon.

[Nazihunter88]

This is the begining of my story, for critique. Its real choppy still, because its still in rough draft.


The story starts with a Nazi, an Al Qaeda member, and a Communist. The Nazi proposes his idea to get rid of both democracy and Jews, and then tells how. He says something like, “I know that we don’t like each other’s philosophy, but we do agree on two things… we both agree that both democracy and Judaism must end. If we can stick together, we can easily erase both from the world. This is my plan… we resurrect Hitler, conduct experiments on him, and try and give him superhuman powers.” Both the Al Qaeda member and the Communist yell out in protest. But the Nazi then says, “Listen! We will also give these powers to each and every nation who agree with us… regardless if they are Socialist, Communist, or Terrorist. From there, each nation can give their soldiers superhuman powers, and together, we can build the most powerful army the world has ever seen. Nobody can win against us. Not even if all the nations of the world were to fight against us, as long as we have these powers. Soon, the world will be rid of democracy and Judaism, and only Socialist, Communist, and Terrorist countries can exist. As soon as we win, we can split up the world upon us equally.” The Communist, terrorist, and Nazi all agree. The communist goes back to North Korea, the terrorist goes back to Syria, and the Nazi goes back to Brazil. The focus then changes to Viggo Mayhew, who is a soldier in Iraq. He and his friend are talking about their families, in a building. All of a sudden, a bullet flies through a window in the building and hits Viggo’s friend in the head. Viggo gets infuriated, and runs out of the door and mows down a group of terrorists. He then goes back into the building, goes over to his friend and bends down. His friends last words are, “Viggo, please tell my wife that I’m sorry that I couldn’t help her raise our beautiful children, and tell my children that I’m sorry I couldn’t see them grow up, and that I love them. And Viggo. Please don’t die. My last wish before I go is that I want you to see your wife and children again after the war. I’m real sorry I have to leave you all alone here, Viggo, and I know that you have what it takes to be a warrior.” Fighting back tears, Viggo says, “I will fight on for your family, my family, and America’s family’s.” Before Viggo’s friend dies, he says, “I’m proud to die an American”. Viggo then breaks down and cries. The focus changes to a group of terrorists. They go into Russia, and go to underneath the Kremlin, where Hitler’s only remains are. They steal Hitler’s remains (part of his skull and a couple teeth), and successfully escape the Kremlin.

[Alex_T]

If I may be so bold (these are bound to be famous last words of some poor sob... )...

I can see this story working only as an outrageous comedy filled with cliches, cheese and more cheese.

Why? There are simply much too much stereotyping and politically incorrect stuff. Not that political correctness should be an aim, but there has to be a limit too.

And there is an off-handedness about the way you deal with the various political ideologies and world forces/situations. Research a little more and you'll see that Fascists, Islamic Extremists and Communists don't operate from a common ideology.

I think the biggest problem with this story outline is it shows that little research has been made. Spend some time getting to know the ideologies of the various "Axis" factions you wish to include and you'll have a more credible story.

If your aim IS to ridicule such an attitude of stereotyping, then go ahead! But like I said earlier, that would probably work best as a loud, wild, crazily satirical comedy with lots of BOOM BOOM BOOOM...

[xenogogue]

This is soo far fetched in concept that it's right out of an Austin Powers flick. That's not saying it wouldn't work with some serious tweaking. It really is hard to believe that the Axis nations would work in unison. If there was some sort of forced influence by the Nazi's onto their 'allies'. Something that makes the rest of the world stunned beyond belief. Brainwashing or mind control. The Russians experimented heavily with mind control techniques throughout the cold war.

I do however like the idea of a 'super-powered' force of former world leaders. Maybe the Freedom Force computer games would be something you'd like to look at. Your idea thus far has a similar feel, though your concept seems to be more global spanning.

The one big question that comes to mind for me, is: Where do these powers suddenly come from? And how could the US stave off the Axis for a prolonged time versus super-powered opposition?

Play with it some more, see what you come up with. Afterall, that's where all the fun comes from.

[Agamemnon]

If I may be so bold (these are bound to be famous last words of some poor sob... )...

I can see this story working only as an outrageous comedy filled with cliches, cheese and more cheese.

Why? There are simply much too much stereotyping and politically incorrect stuff. Not that political correctness should be an aim, but there has to be a limit too.

And there is an off-handedness about the way you deal with the various political ideologies and world forces/situations. Research a little more and you'll see that Fascists, Islamic Extremists and Communists don't operate from a common ideology.

I think the biggest problem with this story outline is it shows that little research has been made. Spend some time getting to know the ideologies of the various "Axis" factions you wish to include and you'll have a more credible story.

If your aim IS to ridicule such an attitude of stereotyping, then go ahead! But like I said earlier, that would probably work best as a loud, wild, crazily satirical comedy with lots of BOOM BOOM BOOOM...

Well, I agree with all of that to start. I think the danger here is simplification, and if that simplification goes far enough there seems a real danger (a possibility) of the story coming off as being increadibly racist/bigoted. Not that it is, but research is the key here.

[Nazihunter88]

My internet's been down for a while, so I couldnt reply right away... I was also cringing at all of the political problems in my idea, but Sunday, I saw the Manchurian Candidate, and it gave me an idea before I even saw xenogogue mention it. Brainwashing. Its the only way that this could work out and make political sense. So, this is my revised plot.

The story starts out in Hitler's bunker, right before his death. He is frozen for the future, but the public is led to believe that he shot and killed himself. The story shifts to 2039, 100 years after the start of WWII. An undercover group of Neo-Nazis are implanting brainwashing tools into major world leaders, but somebody who claims to know somthing of the incident assassinates the U.S. leader, and the Israeli leader. It is completed in 2045, 100 years after the death of Adolf Hitler. Nazis meet with all other leaders and get them to agree with a plan to bring Hitler back to life, and conquor the world. Everyone agrees, because they are brainwashed. They revive Adolf Hitler and give him superhuman powers. He then becomes head of the Nazi/brainwashed group, which adopts the name Axis Powers. Soon, all soldiers of the Axis have to go through the change from human to superhuman. With the whole world except the US and Israel under his power, Hitler creeps even further to the two last surviving nations. A spy who figured out how the Axis gave people superhuman powers tells the US, who tells Israel. Afterwords, the two countrys rapidly give out superhuman abilities to every soldier of the Allied powers, their readoptd name. One of the thousands of soldiers is named Viggo Mayhew. The plot revolves around Mayhew and Hitler.

I decided to leave out Eisenhower, because I didnt know exactly how to fit him in, and because I dropped the whole reviving the dead thing. But I still have two problems. One, how the US and Israel could stand a fight against the whole world, and two, what should I search for to give me insparation on how they give everone superhuman powers. For the fight part, I was thinking about them geting help from Aliens or somthing, but that would just be way too much going on in one story, wouldn't it? I realy dont know, because this is my first time to make a comic before thats supposed to be serious.

[Alex_T]

Looking better already. Here's a thought. Just my opinion, do what you like with it.

For myself (and I think I speak for quite a number of people as well), Hitler's real power and evilness doesn't lie in his shooting ability or his strength (or height), but his mind. That pure evil mind of his that can control the masses so well, influence so expertly by simply speaking.

What I would do with Hitler is to have the freezing process flawed. It is 1945 after all. So after he's thawed out and revived, I'll have him crippled, unable to use his legs, thus making him unable to go through the superhuman conversion process.

YET he's in control. In fact, he rids of the current hierarchy of Nazi leaders to once again lead the banner, and eventually, the superhumans. Personally I think that's more true to the evil of Hitler and that in itself is much more scarier than a muscular, laser-eyed Hitler who can fly.

That's just how I would handle Hitler. Let's not forget also he's a great, great, great orator. The pen is mightier than the sword. Which then is more frightening, the superhumans, or the cripple the superhumans all fear?

[Nazihunter88]

Looking better already. Here's a thought. Just my opinion, do what you like with it.

For myself (and I think I speak for quite a number of people as well), Hitler's real power and evilness doesn't lie in his shooting ability or his strength (or height), but his mind. That pure evil mind of his that can control the masses so well, influence so expertly by simply speaking.

What I would do with Hitler is to have the freezing process flawed. It is 1945 after all. So after he's thawed out and revived, I'll have him crippled, unable to use his legs, thus making him unable to go through the superhuman conversion process.

YET he's in control. In fact, he rids of the current hierarchy of Nazi leaders to once again lead the banner, and eventually, the superhumans. Personally I think that's more true to the evil of Hitler and that in itself is much more scarier than a muscular, laser-eyed Hitler who can fly.

That's just how I would handle Hitler. Let's not forget also he's a great, great, great orator. The pen is mightier than the sword. Which then is more frightening, the superhumans, or the cripple the superhumans all fear?

Hmm.... I never thought about it in that way. It shure would be ironic, because he hated cripples. The only two problems I can think of is one, what use is his great orating skills, if everyone is already brainwashed? And two, I kinda wanted a big fight sceen with Viggo Mayhew and Hitler, but if Hitler is a cripple, how could it be a fair fight? Hitler, definently, is going to be the more frightining one, simply because he is going to have a very complex personality, thus he will be unpredictable. Do you think there would be anyway he could be a cripple, but in the action?

[amadarwin]

it SHOULDN'T be a fair fight. Being cripple, Hitler would KNOW he's no match for mayhew and thus would use eveerything and everyone at his disposal to be rid of the bothersome pest. Once mayhew overcomes all that, maybe the fourth reich had developed a cybernetic body for hitler to crawl into...but yea, that's even too much for me...

[Nazihunter88]

it SHOULDN'T be a fair fight. Being cripple, Hitler would KNOW he's no match for mayhew and thus would use eveerything and everyone at his disposal to be rid of the bothersome pest. Once mayhew overcomes all that, maybe the fourth reich had developed a cybernetic body for hitler to crawl into...but yea, that's even too much for me...

Thats an idea... a cybernetic body...