It's nice to see some new people around here. Welcome aboard.
I thought this was a nice script. The Ann Margaret stripper had me on the floor.
There are a number of spelling and gramatical mistakes. Your instead of you're for example.
It might sound nitpicky, but it makes a huge difference. It is distracting, and when it comes early in a script, it digs an unnecessary hole. Run you script through a spell and grammar check. It is very important.
I'd like to see how this starts so that I can give a more thoughtful critique.