Ghostbuster's page

[Pant]

Hi Again!
This is a page that I did in november ,to submit at the Editor of 88Mhp comics who was at research of an artist....
These pages was drawed in 2 days....

please leave comments or critiques




If the pages doesn't appeare here follow these links
page 1
page 2

[timshinn73]

Fun stuff! Nice job!

[Ian Miller]

Dear Lord that rocks! How long does it take you to do a page?

[Pant]

Thanks for comments

For Ian Miller I draw a page in 8-12 hours,it depends on the particulars of the background

[penciljack]

I ... you know, I kinda like these pages, but I have to say they feel awfully derivative of other styles. I mean, there's some J. Scott Campbell stuff in there, among other things. Maybe it's time to spend some time developing your own style? These pages seem pretty different from your X-Men pages, which seemed to have a Joe Mad! lean to them.

Also ... when did the Ghostbusters become uber-buff superhero-types with lantern jaws and deep cleft chins? I respect that artistic license is allowed, but these guys just don't seem to fit the mold of the Ghostbusters we all know and love. If this is, indeed, the current model for the Ghostbusters, then I apologize (and I take issue with whomever developed this current model).

In terms of storytelling, well, I just don't think the pages read well. For example, until the final panel, we have only one, single panel that tells us that the Ghostbusters are even in the same time-zone as the frog-thing (the bird's eye shot, where they enter a vault-like area), and even so it's only a hint at that.

When the Ghostbusters arrive on the scene at the top of page 2, they're standing there, looking buff and super-heroic, of course, but there's no background to help us poor readers understand a) where they are and b) where they came from.

When the background does appear, it's very well done all around. Just think about helping readers through the page a bit more (and avoid cribbing styles so obviously) and you'll be fine.

[Justice41]

Not bad, Too Joe Mad and Scott Campbell for me. Don't like the kissy lips either. The eyebrows bug me as well. The pages don't flow well because you are treating this setup as if it just started, what with the first panel establishing shot, yet the actual panel to panel stuff looks like in progress storytelling. An establishing shot doesn't always have to be some buildings seen from afar. They have to relate to the setting of the actual story. Say the story takes place in a shopping mall? Would you draw hi rise buildings as the establishing shot? Think not.
That building in the first panel may or may not be a bank but who could tell unless you show it as a bank. This shot should have been from ground level with the Ghostbuster mobile outside with some cops and a huge crowd. Maybe some media vans as well.
The lineworks good though but your a little lazy in the faces. All the faces in every page looks almost the same except for small changes.
Good job sticking it out with these pages. Not many can finish three pages let alone a whole comics worth.

[Bruce Lee]

I noticed this with your X-men pages too--all your expressions look virtually the same: Furrowed brows and frowning mouths. I suggest that you should work on expressions and body language more. All the faces look VERY similar to one another. They're practically "cookie-cutter" faces. Same head shapes, same eyes, same pouty lips, same lantern jaws, cleft chins, etc. Try to distinguish features more. Play up the differences in the faces.

You also should work on lighting. The only lighting you have going on here is on the GB's gloves. Since you bothered to give the gloves lighting (even if you only did did so to convey texture), you should follow through. Be consistant with the lighting. Don't commit half-way. Figure out where the light source is and go to town. Light and shadow effects everything, not just random objects. Lighting can add a lot to your storytelling, adding to the mood of things. Not to mention that lighting adds weight and volume to the figures and other objects. A few spotted black shapes would give your panels more depth and dimension. As a penciller, you should strive for depth, mood, etc. You shouldn't put the burden of these responsibilities on the shoulders of the inker or the colorist to handle. Those things are really the penciller's job. Otherwise, you're really only doing tight breakdowns.

I'd really like to see what YOU draw like sometime, Pant. No offense, but I already know what Campbell and Mad! draw like. A lot of people here have been ragging on you about aping other artist's styles, and I honestly think that's because many of us would like to see what YOU can really do on your own. I can tell you have talent. I for one would love to see you show a little more originality though.

Anyway, good luck with the submissions.

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com

[Bruce Lee]

....

[Popninja]

Co-sign totally with what Loston just said. You are obviously a very talented individual. Even though you are completely ripping off the style of other artists, it takes skill to do it that well.

These pages looks so much like Campbell that I just can not enjoy them. Everything from facial expressions, down to those little lines he puts on everything, is signature J. Scott Campbell.

[Missle Man]

The art work is visually interesting, but I would like to see some stuff in the basic Grid style, and only have the interior of the panels change and not their borders. Plus it can make your subects more interesting when you crop them, and Try not to break your borders so much let your composition move the story, think like a camera man; and for the style, I think you need to find your own " visual-voice", If your going to use reference, pull from life.





The Bottom Line however is, your producing, practicing, and trying to grow.

Bart Sears told me, "there is one thing that seperates good from the great-- FOCUS."

Remeber that good is the enemy to great, as far as when things are good people stop trying and become complacent. If you want to be great never be satisfied.

Good job, but I want to see you do a Great job, and looking at your stuff I'm pretty sure your'e capable.

sorry if anything is misspelled, it's a gift.