Hey this really took me on a trip and freaked with my mind. Normally I would group this with the modern/postmodern stuff I hate, but I must give you propers. I believe I used the phrase "design-school-ly" for the last thing you posted, but who cares, this stands by itself.
My crit is that the dialogue on the last page is hard to follow. Maybe some stricter 180 rule application would fix it.