Why does it never look like it should?

[bindlestitch]

I was all hyped up to do this drawing. Then I did it. Now I'm not so hyped. It's for my own comic I'm "trying" to get done but alas , laziness seems to always creep in.
Crit please.
Click
Later,
Stitch

[YoungartMAN]

well It looks blurry on my comp so uhhh. I think your focus in on the dude. well Im more focusing on the big chicks head behind him. I think you should figure out a way to make the focus more on the dude. Maybe like create 3 vertical boxes and cut them and inside them you can see parts of the womens head but the dude is still in front, and whereve there is no boxes left you leave black. I dont know how to explain it. think 3 vertical sequential boxes suggesting a whole face, but not showing it all. I dont know I just thought that up as a way to create more focus on the dude. unless you want to focus on the girl. otherwise its a little distracting. well thats all I have so see yas...

[armartin]

Looking at the picture I would make the assumption that you are using pens to ink this piece. This seems to be working quite well for you especially in the area around the divers helmet. Where the limitations of the pen comes into play is with the girl's hair, my suggestion would be try to incorporate some brushwork I think it will loosen up the feel of the drawing.



Tony

[bindlestitch]

Youngmanart, I highly agree with you. There isn't enough emphasis on the guy. I wanted it to be clear what has taken place so I thought to have a wide shot but it's not working. It's to far out.
Armartin, I thought about using some brushes but I chickened out. The next one I do I'm going to make an effort to use some. I think it would have made a great improvement on this picture...if I can use them properly.
Thanks for the feedback guys.
Stitch