That's pretty cool. You inking this? If not I would suggest you get real specific with the pencils. I'm having a problem visualizing the areas that words and captions as well as sound efects will go. Hey if you have a DVD of Dark City you may want to check it out especially the last huge battle scene. There's an effect that may help with some of the effects your trying to do. I was told once by Jim shooter that one of the biggest selling points a penciller and inker have is their ability to do spectacular special effects, effects.
When do yo plan on getting this book out?
Be careful with your proportions. The heads seem to get larger when you do a mid range shot. Just use harder lead. It holds its point better so you can do smaller detail.