Beginning script for an idea...

[Grim8]

What's up ev1? I haven't been on the boards in waaaay too long, but I've finally made it back and I wanted to share this little tid bit and see what you all thought.


“SWORD RUNNERS”

Page 1 – 4 panels

Panel 1 – Top view looking down on Niko lying on a beach at night. The surf is crashing in over him.

Cap 1: I SHOULD BE DEAD.

Cap 2: DON’T GET ME WRONG I’M GLAD I’M NOT; IT’S JUST THAT I SHOULD BE.

Panel 2 – The surf has crashed over him again in this close up of his face and we see him frowning as the water has woken him up.

Niko: CAFF, CAFF, CAFF! GLUMPH, CAFF, CAUGH!

Cap 3: YOU SEE, I WAS ON A CASE. SOMEHOW, MY COVER WAS BLOWN AND NORMALLY WHEN THAT HAPPENS IT MEANS ONE OF TWO THINGS. EITHER YOU END UP DEAD OR BY SOME MIRACLE YOU MAKE IT OUT.

Panel 3 – Flashback panel and we’re looking from behind him while he’s being held by two men and another is standing in front of him firing a gun at his head.

Cap 4: IT ALL WENT APE SHIT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO BE EXECUTED. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT OTHER THAN I SHOULD BE DEAD. IT WAS POINT BLANK RANGE, BUT I DIDN’T DIE. I WASN’T EVEN HIT.

Panel 4 – He’s getting up now leaning on hands and knees in this side view shot. Ocean water is streaming from his hair and face onto the sand.

Cap 5: YOU’D THINK THAT WAS WEIRD ENOUGH. SUDDENLY I GOT THESE CLOWNS TURNING INTO, I DON’T KNOW, DEMONS ON ME. I CAN’T REMEMBER MUCH AFTER THAT POINT, ONLY A BLINDING LIGHT AND HAVING ONE HELL OF A HEADACHE.

Page 2 – 5 Panels

Panel 5 – Niko is standing up now and we see him with his hands on his stomach searching himself.

Niko (thought): AH NUTS, LOST MY PIECE. WHAT THE!?

Panel 6 – We can see part of his head as he’s looking out into the moonlit ocean. We can see the remains of a wrecked ship ruined by an explosion.

Niko: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SHIP?


Panel 7 – We can see his eyes in the background of this flashback panel. He’s standing with his back arched in agony as a powerful outburst of red energy erupts from him.

Cap 6: THAT’S RIGHT! RIGHT AFTER I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD I FELT LIKE A SUPERNOVA WAS EXPLODING INSIDE MY CHEST.

Cap 7: COULD I BE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR DOING THAT TO THE SHIP?

Panel 8 – He’s looking back as a hand grabs his collar from behind.

Niko: HUH?

Panel 9 – Niko is looking at us wide eyed as he’s flying away and we can see a darkened hand swinging downward. In the background we can see a huge plate glass window to a warehouse some distance behind him.

Niko: WHOA!


Page 3 – 5 Panels

Panel 10 – A diagonal view from inside the warehouse as Niko’s crashing through the window.

Panel 11 – Looking from ground view beside Niko as he’s looking out of the broken window with the moon in view in the background. Three darkened hulking forms are standing there.

Man #1: YOU SURPRISE US SWORD RUNNER. ALL THOSE FIREWORKS AND YET WE TOOK YOU FROM BEHIND SO EASILY. I REALLY EXPECTED MORE FROM YOUR KIND.

Panel 12 – Looking at Niko still lying on the floor with cuts on his arm and a trail of blood coming from his forehead.

Niko: SWORD RUNNER? WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Panel 13 – We see the darkened form of the men from a top view and a beam of black energy is shooting out of their mouths.

Man #1: MISTAKEN AM I? THEN THERE IS NO MORE NEED TO LET YOU LIVE!

SFX: RRROOOOOOSH!

Panel 14 – This is an upper torso side view shot as Niko has his head turned and his arms out before trying to ward off the bolts. There is a red energy shield that deflects the bolts.

Niko: NO! WAIT, I--

SFX: BRRANT!

Panel 15 – Same shot, but now Niko is looking at his hands.

Niko: WHA!? WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?


Page 4 – 4 Panels

Panel 16 – The men are crashing through what remains of the wall and window running at Niko off panel.

Man #1: AND SO YOUR HAND IS PLAYED SWORD RUNNER! YOUR LIFE IS FORFEIT!

SFX: BA-KAASH!

Panel 17 – Niko running towards us with the three men in pursuit.

Panel 18 – Man #2 calls an ebony flaming bola to his hand.

SFX: VMMM!

Panel 19 – Niko is looking back over his shoulder.

Niko: GREAT.

Panel 20 – Multiple image panel as Niko dives into a roll and comes up crouching. The black flame bola sails over him and heads towards a wall of stacked drums.

Panel 21 – Close up of Niko’s face with a concerned expression.

Niko: OH NO.


Page 5 – 5 Panels

Panel 22 – Outside view of the warehouse as the explosion blows out all of the windows, taking out some of the outer structure.

SFX: SHA-BA-BA-BOOOOOM!

Panel 23 – Now the whole exterior of the warehouse is devastated.

SFX: THRA-KOOOOM!

Panel 24 – The warehouse engulfed in flames with debris landing sporadically.

Panel 25 – Three darkened forms appear within the blaze.

Panel 26 – The three men are walking out of the ruined warehouse with smoke wafting off of them.

Man #3: THE SWORD RUNNER IS FINISHED.

Man #1: DON’T BE UBSURD. DON’T YOU SENSE THAT?

Man #2: YES, THERE ARE MORE OF THEM. DO WE CONTINUE TO PURSUE AND EXTERMINATE HIM?

Man #1: NO. IT WAS BY PURE HAPPENSTANCE THAT WE ENCOUNTERED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. WE RETURN AND RELAY WHAT WE’VE FOUND.

Raivin (op): I DON’T THINK SO.

Man #1: WHAT?

[banshee]

In case I hvnt welcomed you, I'm going to !

welcome to thewritersdesk and PJ!!!!!! I sometimes welcome ppl more than once, esp. after a hiatus, just to be on the safe side! so if I've welcomed you bfr.. urm. sorry lol

onwards to the c&c:

would you want to number your pages as such" Page 1, Panel 1. Page 2, Panel 1) rather than running panel numbers? just a suggestion.

Pg 2, Panel 5-
Wld "What the.....?!" work better?

interesting premise! nice one!

later days