Hulk vs Thor

[artronin9]

Ok, here's the start of a new sequential series I'm working on with the Hulk and Thor, even though neither show up until later on, but I figured I'd go ahead and post the first page. Between my job and working on my 'Pants' book it's tough to find time to knock out new pages, but I should have the next page up in a couple days. Anyways, crits and comments are welcomed.



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[MightyMatt]

this is really nice stuff, but that is the usual stuff from you.
I am still reminded of Scott Kolins when I see your work, but lately I am seeing a bit of George Perez in it as well.
Beautiful layout...can't wait til Hulk and Thor show up.

matt

[Bruce Lee]

Astronin,

Damn. You get better and better with each page!


Panel One: Totally works. I like the perspective a lot. My only comment is that we should probably be seeing more of the top plane of the helicopter from this angle, unless the choppers tilting to one side...

Panel Two: This panels not bad, but it could be much better. Here's where a more intense "wormseye" POV would really add lots of drama to your storytelling. As is, it's okay, but not terribly exciting.

Panel Three: I like the detail of the chopper, but the people inside and around it aren't proportionate with one another (note the size of the people in cockpit to the guy on the stairs leading from the chopper). Not only that, but the placement of the people within the perspective needs some correction. They don't hang from the horizon line correctly. The soldier on the far left would have to be really tall or standing on something to be at this height. The soldier on the far right of the panel HAS to be a GIANT to tower over the scene this way, or would have to be standing on something as well. I'm not sure why you really need him in the scene at all though, since he really doesn't add much to the scene. If he overlapped the chopper, then he'd be adding depth, but as is, he's just sort of there...

Panel Four: The expressions could be better here (use reference if necessary). Also these guys have very narrow shoulders that slope downward in such a way that makes them look to have overdeveloped trapezious muscles, which is a little abnormal, I'd say.

Still, this page is nicely done. I hope I've given you some insight on how you can make it even nicer. I really love seeing your latest work, Astronin--always delightful stuff.

Loston
http://www.lostonwallace.com
PS: Hulk should stomp that Shakespear talkin' thunder god...

[jniffen]

I kind of like it. I think you need more blacks in there for contrast, but maybe that's just me. I have to agree with pretty much all of Bruce's critiques though. Plus, get at least one of the main characters in there early. This is a submission piece, right? You're gonna have to wow them from the start, and I don't think that having neither character in there on the first page isn't gonna really do that too well. Again, that could be just me talking here.

[Tommm9]

I like your style and your story telling is very clear. Mine only comments are a bit more like nit picking but here goes. I realize this is a ordinary page that does not have any big action but I think all the panels except maybe panel one could be made more dynamic. Look at books like ultimate avenges or some of mike alfred's xstatic he has a more cartoon like style but still has dynamic pages stuff even the non action scenes use more dynamic poses. Fore example in panel two the helicopter is landing it could be kicking up dust and stuff plus the soldiers could be shielding thier eyes from the touch down. And the last panel on the page really could be kicked up a knotch. Of course this is only my evaluation of one page.But this is great stuff but the mainstream likes thier stuff truned up to 11.

[muthmaniac]

Naturally, Loston got most of the stuff. But, I feel amazed that no one's caught a seemingly big continuity mistake. Between the soldiers in all the panels, their helmets change in each panel. My first thought was, 'maybe they're different soldiers. But looking at all the amazing detail that you added in the panels, they seem to be the same people.

Also, in the second panel showing the close up of the soldiers, I might add in the "Doctor" there as well, just to establish him in there, because between the third and fourth panels, we have no idea, really, that it's supposed to be the same guy.

And the last crit that I have of the page is that the character's eyes in the last panel are too close together. And the guy, who just got off the chopper and closest in the last panel's hairline seems to disappear behind his ear in the last panel. (of course that could be deliberate.)

I wish you luck on the submission, if that's what this is for. I really do like the page. And just to kind of go against the influences said so far, I see a little Steve Rolton-ish influence in there...Of course, I'm sure that styles been around longer than that, but he's who I refer to.

Later,
John

[Justice41]

Good stuff man. I would change the helicoptors angle in Pnl.2 It looks the same as the one in Pnl.1. You may have wanted to pull back a little and show the ground with the soldiers avoiding the downdraft and rotor wash. Actually I would have had another panel in between to show the doctor or whomever that older man is, watching the approaching coptor with the domed hanger in the BG. I noticed in the first panel the buildings in the extreme right started to warp on ya.You can avoid that by having the vanishing point off the paper even more.
Unless there's a dip in the landing pad the perspective in panel 3 is a little awkward. Looks like the coptor is leaning down while the soldier up front is standing on a box. I like this page a lot. Good luck with the rest.

[artronin9]

Thanks for all the comments guys.

I made some minor changes to page one, and added page two. Major destruction and Hulk rampaging are only a page away. Sorry, it took forever to get through the second page, I was laid up for days last week with the flu and just wasn't able to draw and I simply haven't had much time to draw lately. Hopefully page 3 will be up this week and 4 soon.