5 page Marvel / D.C. sequentials

[Freddie]

I have been so busy with freelance for commissions, and smaller companies, that I had not sent out any submissions to larger comic book companies in over a year!

In additiona to this, all of the sequential stuff that I have been working on during that time has had a NDA attached to it, barring me from using the pages even for portfolio reviews.

So, I decided to use a Marvel and a DC character, and just have them slug it out.

This way I could send the portfoilo to both companies, and they could each see the way I draw their resective characters.

Here is the 5 page pencil submission: (Wonder Man vs Martian Manhunter)

These images may take a tad to load, but please be patient they are locally hosted (but for free )


Page: 1

[Freddie]

Page: 2


Page: 3

[Freddie]

Page: 4


Page: 5

I am ordering some custom envelopes right now, to try and make the outside of my portfoilio stand out, so it will still be a few weeks before I begin barraging Marvel, D.C and other larger comic companies.

-Freddie

[Ed]

first off, wow, these are fantastic! i only have a couple minor crits from the perspective of a casual viewer, not a pro like loston.

Page 1 Panel 4: to me this just wasnt a very interesting panel when compared to the others and it kinda stiks out like a sore thumb to me. it just seems less dynami then the rest of the peice.

Page 2 panels 1 & 2: we go from a glass window through bricks? mabey im missing somthing. it seems like he goes in one building and comes out a completely diffrent one.

Page 3 panels 6&7: what happened? one minute the locking hands the next theyre sevral feet away from each other, its a tad disorienting.


man i would read a book based on this art! very top noch work!

[caanan02]

This...man,...this is OFF THE RINGER_PHAT!!!

I like:

-Wonderman chaging up
-the BG detail
-him going throught the glass building
-him landing on the street and people looking like "what in the world...?"
-the explosions and debree all over the place
-The psyche blast to the head
...AMAZING!!!

only C&C... The hand on pg 5 pannel 1 looks kinda defromed. Just a little. Short of that...the rest is FIRE!!!

;cap; (i am in awe.)

[xadrian]

The only thing I'd add is there's a lot of flipping of camera angles that break the story. The biggest example is page 2, p1-p2 you have Wonder Man coming down from right to left and ending up on the ground facing the right, it just seems like a better angle might help the flow. Like on of WM closer up and MMH farther off in the air.

But christ, over all if comics were like this I'd buy them. You have to let us know if you get a book some time so I can plunk down some cash. Something about your pencils and the thick figures is very appealing.

[NickRocks]

the 3rd panel of page one RULES.

[TheFightingFoetus]

Definetly very cool stuff. As Xadrian put it to me, it looks like your drawing with incredible confidence.

Some anatomy issues, a few puffy figures, and some inconsistancy in drawing the wedge-plane of the hand.

But very nice action, and page layouts.

[Freddie]

Wow, thanks for the excellent c&c...

I appreciate the feedback alot.

this is just the sort of thing i was looking for, to help me keep in mind for the next time I do something like this (which i don't know when it will be, since I have so many other freelance things going on)

Thanks again, it is good to hear some other points of view on these pages, since I am trying to do what I think is cool, but really wan't sure if others would dig it.

I am about to send these pages off to Marvel and DC in a few weeks (after I get my custom envelopes, with my art on the outside of them, to try and get more attention )

I'll let you all know how it goes.

Thanks again!

-Freddie

[penciljack]

These pages look really nice, but there are just a couple of things going on that bring them down, mostly dealing with the storytelling.

For example, in page one, panel three, where you've got the Martian Manhunter with his back to us ..... why? This is his big intro into the story, I'd argue that we ought to see him from the front somehow, even if he was just turning to acknowledge WonderMan or something. Too, his foot is clipped by the panel, and he's nearly facing directly off the page, which makes me feel like I'm only seeing half of a two-page spread, you know?

I think you could consolidate panels two and three on page 1, since they're showing us the same thing, which might give you more leeway to "feature" both characters more prominently.

Also, the transition from page 4 to page 5 is somewhat awkward, too. On the last panel on page 4, Martian Manhunter is dramatically blasting Wonder Man. On the first panel on page 5, he's just calmly standing there. At first I wondered whether I had accidentally read something out of sequence, etc. I'd suggest giving MM some indication of the previous action, even if you just alter his pose a bit.

These sorts of things detract from the overall high quality of the pages. The backgrounds, for the vast most part, are very well done, and I really like the lighting you're using on page four. The debris looks great.

Nice job on MM's hand on page 5. That looks great, him reaching out like that. Watch the hands in some other places, and especially the wrists - they tend to look stiff and unnatural (such as MM's wrists on page 1). A personal preference - I think the Kirby crackle effect you've got on Wonder Man is too small; it makes it seem like he's dirty more than made from energy.

Having said all that, this is a strong collection of pages. The linework is nice and clean and crisp, and the characters move well from panel to panel. I wish you luck in your submission!