14 year old does sequential art

[chaos lord]

NGreene ;dvl;

[Jeremy Colwell]

Better than I was at 14. I'm glad that you didn't avoid drawing hands and feet like many folks do. Only by forcing yourself to draw them will you get better. I think this doesn't work too well as a sequential. I don't get it. In panel 2, whose hand it that? It needs to relate to panel 1 somehow and let us know how it causes the action in panel 3. For example if it is supposed to be the guy form panel 1's hand, then put a distinctive ring, watch, or tattoo on both figures. Or you could repeat some specific background details in both panels. Just something to give us a relationship.

Also, you cropped the page very oddly. The way the page cuts the hand off at the wrist and the figure's leg off is not good. Try not to line up page/panel edges with figure joints.

Overall, good effort and I like the rendering you used. Keep it up and post more.

Jeremy

[EddieChingLives]

Not bad. But story-wise, I can't tell what's going on.

Panel 1- You should draw his legs first lightly, then draw the pants over them. His legs look a little stubby.

Panel 2- I don't like how panels 1 and 2 touch. There should allways be gutters. A space between the panels. This may have worked, only if you made panel three touch panel one as well. But it isn't really working, and I think it would be more effective with the space.

Panel 3- You done cropped off his whole leg. Is he kicking? Wazzupwitdat? And he has no wrist? It's too stubby.

Now lets look at the whole thing, storywize.

You got a guy, screaming with blood on him.

Cut/to a hand. Who's hand? Is someone tapping on his shoulder or is this his hand?

Next, cut back to him, full shot again, kicking? Did someone grab his leg?

Your storytelling needs more clarity. Work on your story. Don't crop things out. Keep the panel gutters. Work on praportion. And practice drawing feet and hands more.

[chaos lord]

Seems to be confusion,this is half of a double page spread.

Thanks for all the help guys

NGreene

[chaos lord]

Heres the unfinished other half



Ngreene