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Thread: juggernaut

  1. #1
    Registered User
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    Dec 2001
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    new orleans,La.
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    19

    Rolls Eyes juggernaut

    It has been a long time since I've posted here. But I have been checking in on the art here and there. I finally had some time to post up some work and add it to my site.
    http://www.ivorycomics.com
    URL]

  2. #2
    Modesto, CA 1979 EddieChingLives's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    Modesto, California, United States
    Posts
    1,191

    Re: juggernaut

    If anyone has had trouble viewing this like I did, click here:

    http://www.ivorycomics.com/media/gal...hes/juggernaut

    Please put links underneath your art please people!!! But maybe it's just my slow ass connection.

    I have to say... I should read comics more often, because I didn't know Juggie is showing his locks lately.

    The layout has some problems. Maybe you can check out my first section of storytelling101 at the tips and tricks section of penciljack. I've stripped comic sequences to it's most basic form. It might help with your sequencing.

    Panel 1 and 2 don't work. Panel 1 might work better as an insert panel.

    Also, panel one doesn't work, becuase it just looks like the ground. You should show the horizon, some island in the background perhaps? Or some docks. I got to the fish on panel 3 and I then put it together that he was underwater.

    Also, the rest of the panels are all full body shots. Look at your favorite comic book artists and see how many panels in a row are full body shots. Throw in some close ups in between the two the eye can rest.

    Also, what's the plot? Juggie jumps in the water, lands, an electric eel snuck behind him, so Juggie swims away...

    How did Juggie enter the water? And why? What is he looking for? So many unanswered questions and lack of motivation. If your caracters don't have very clear motivations, you won't have clear storytelling.

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