Long Distance Funerals

[xadrian]

My grandpa just passed on Monday night. He was really sick and in and out of hospitals so his passing is a relief for both him and the family. He's not hurting anymore and the family can move on. While it's not a GOOD thing that he's gone, it was expected.

I live in Texas now, family is in Colorado. While I wasn't REALLY close, he was my favorite of the grandparents. He was an artist for an ad company, did caligraphy for certificates for law and doctor's offices. Every year he did watercolor christmas cards for the family.

I've come to a decision that was really hard to make. I don't think I'm going to the funeral. Instead, I was going to draw a picture of him and overnight it for the viewing, pick up the christmas card thing, and dedicate my first comic to him. I can't afford to fly up, but I could drive for 24 hours and make it in time. It's not that I don't respect him enough, but rather that I appreciated him in life and don't want to commemorate that by watching him lowered into the ground.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else has had to make decisions like this.

[cabralsoth]

hey xadrian.... sorry for your loss... and i do know where you are coming from ... i do know some people may view it as a chance to say goodbye , and give your respects .... but i think everyone deals with loss in their own way ... if by dedicating a picture in remembrance and comic is your way of saying goodbye, then do it ... i think anyone who knows you will understand ... the only other way i would see it is if there was someone there who needed you for support ... like when my grandma passed away i went to newyork not just too say goodbye , but to be there for my dad .... he needed me ... but mostly because he feels alone in life .... everyone else is gone .... so i say it is up to you ... you know how you feel , and if that is your way to deal with it , then do so ......

[xadrian]

Yeah, I'd go for my family, but there's going to be a bazillion of them up there, and honestly I've come to understand my desire to "make a good showing" is pretty egotistical. It's not about me.

But if I were in the situation you described, I'd figure out a way to go.

Thanks for your sympathy too.

[Nitemare]

Hey Man. sorry to hear about your loss. and i can certianly relate. All my grandparents have passed away and I was only able to make it to one of the funerals as i was traveling and near the place at the time. Do what you have to do and dont feel bad about it. No one expects you to work miracles . Specially at a time like That.

[Inkthinker]

That's a hard decision to make...

I have a very small family, and it's getting smaller (none of us kids have had kids yet, though my sister did get married)... And both of grandparents are getting very old... they live on their own, too. It doesn't bear thinking about too much.

[Mike]

That is a hard decision.

It's strange though, I had a dream 4 days ago that my grandpa died and I was informed by the funeral director- over the phone- while I was at work. I'm still pretty shook up by that dream, but it's nothing compared to what you must be feeling, X.

[TheFightingFoetus]

Sorry to hear that news, Ben.

[bindlestitch]

I'm sorry to hear that Xad. I just lost an uncle I was close to and it looks like I may be losing another one to cancer. But I'm not in as bad a situation as you geographicaly though.
I understand where you're coming from. In the aspect that you don't want to just make a "showing". I think unfortunatley there's a lot of show in my family, on one side anyway. I also see where you're coming from about the distance factor. Man that's a long way.
Be prepared though, if your family's anything like mine, to be the turd of the month. If I don't show up to a reunion or something they think I have a social disease. But if your family's lilke the majority of mine then they'll understand.
God bless buddy,
Stitch

[xadrian]

Thanks folks. I told my mom a few hours ago, she didn't sound totally upset, but I know that's not a good thing to hear. I'm sure I'll be the "turd" of the month, but I think he'd rather I spent my time drawing him a nice picture to remember him by rather than spend a lot of money to be somewhere he is no longer for a few hours. Ya know?

[bindlestitch]

Originally posted by xadrian
Thanks folks. I told my mom a few hours ago, she didn't sound totally upset, but I know that's not a good thing to hear. I'm sure I'll be the "turd" of the month, but I think he'd rather I spent my time drawing him a nice picture to remember him by rather than spend a lot of money to be somewhere he is no longer for a few hours. Ya know?

I hear ya brother, and I agree.