Night Realms 8 Pages

[shazb0t]

This is something I did from a script with Dave A. Law a little while back. It's rather old but wanted to see what ou guys thought of the whole thing, it's like eight pages.

http://navarroart.tripod.com/id54.htm

[xadrian]

It's cool. Story flows nice. I'm sure you'll get more in depth crits in a moment.

The only thing that bothered me was the mismatched lettering sizes. I like the hand writing on the notebook paper (real writing scanned in?) but the balloons with their large, then small then squished type was annoying.

[shazb0t]

Yeha I suck at lettering.....and yeah that was hand lettered, torn then scanned

[Traia]

I liked the torn paper lettering. The size was the only thing.

Quite a lot of issues as far as art (I would not be the one to critique sequential/storytelling, though). I currently don't want to go through all nine pages, but i might in a while.

[whibbage]

Nice story.

I think your art is very different, it kind of fits the alienation of the main character.

There are some part where I got confused with the panelling and wasn't sure which panel to read first.

Also, some of the ripped pieces of paper were hard to read because the lettering was blending in with the shadows of the paper crinkles. Maybe scan the crinkled paper separately and play with it on photoshop before comping it onto the page. Is this what you did?

I am jealous of your character's television.

Overall I like it. I like the way you draw. Just need to clear out some muddled storytelling. How do you work? do you do panel layouts? Do you ask people to read the panel layouts? Panel layouts are important.

[shazb0t]

Well hoepfully I'll post another short I did, this time with writer Jen Contino (Sequentialtart.com, Wizards Magazine) called "Dallas Powers".
I have , I guess, this style, and I'm trying to push that. Believe me I look at the work on the boards and sometimes wish to draw like so and so or like this and that. but it ain't me. So I guess I developed this style, and trying to nurture.
I do have to take time and really let things come out better, give it time. EVenthough I can blow away Night Realms now, there are still little problems that I keep butting my head with.
And I suck at lettering......working on that.

[shazb0t]

Oh as for panel layout:
I kind of cut the scene down as I see it, spinning (the camera in my head, from scene to scene, then I cut the scenes down and looking through, I guess the "Film" I look for the best shot of those moments. Then I lay down those moments and try to see how they pan next to each other on a page. WHat needs more enfisense and what can go to the back ground, where do I need space to breath, where do I need to speed up, where do I need a regular pace.
Wait for Dallas powers I think it'll look alot better. I see what you saying about the covuluted panels and sometimes the best laid plans bite the ass.

[whibbage]

Originally posted by shazb0t
I have , I guess, this style, and I'm trying to push that. Believe me I look at the work on the boards and sometimes wish to draw like so and so or like this and that. but it ain't me. So I guess I developed this style, and trying to nurture.
I do have to take time and really let things come out better, give it time. EVenthough I can blow away Night Realms now, there are still little problems that I keep butting my head with.
And I suck at lettering......working on that.

I agree totally. I really enjoyed your style, anatomy issues did not bother me one bit. Continue working the way you are, you'll eventually find a process that works for you.

Looking forward to "Dallas Powers" =)