Marvel test plot 3 pages

[Propsdue]

Now taking hits...

[MightyMatt]

Okay let me see if I can help....
as far as artwise a lot of this stuff is really nice
however this is storytelling and sequential art, and that is where you are suffering

On page one the page is over-weighed on the right side with all the activity-
on panel one, panel three, and panel five they are all tied together through one way making it like a big column weighing down the right side of the page, which is distracting for the left side.
Page two you are really not familiar where all the stuff is happening, since there is nothing that continues from one panel to the next
Page three is the strongest, with varying camera angles and a nice layout

Overall I think this stuff totally needs to be rethought out and redone
I don't mean to be anal, but these pages will NOT get you into Marvel

[Azrael]

The art is great. Superb.

But theres something about the way youve draw peter that doesnt sit right with me. for one he looks a bit too old and scraggy. I'm also not digging his dress sence, the suit and tie look a bit weird to me.

[Propsdue]

I don't mean to be anal, but these pages will NOT get you into Marvel

Thanx MightyMatt...Guess i won't submit it then.
Thanks Also Azrael..Script calls for peter to be in suit and tie witha mean and uncomfortable demeanor..Just doing what they requested....

[cheeks-74]

this is supposed to be a 6 page submission, right? you have more? very "Adam Pollina" you are doing okay, but i am not convinced on the dog. ;bat; be careful when you darken the border of a panel. that will draw the viewer's attention prematurely. the overlapping panels are not in the standard flow. the way some of the panels are it doesn't flow smoothly. the idea for overlapping is: the overlapping panel indicates "read me next! read me next! check out the 3rd page again. the 3rd panel over lapped the 1st panel. it was cool that it overlapped the 2nd but when I finished looking at the 1st it drew my eye to the 3rd too quick. see what i mean? here is a good guide. it's called the 3 "s" rule. Stupid, Simple, Storytell. You can wow the business later once you've shown the comics industry that you are capable of following the basics! keep up the nice work, but practice harder! you are definately onthe right path! if i was peter on that balcony and I saw MJ grinding her booty on someone's jock, I'd have to drop-kick both of them! hahahahaha oh yeah! get away from drawing the traditional "Mcfarlane" hands! it lloks like you don't have a good grasp on hands if you do that! you know what I mean...the-middle-and-the-ring-finger-stuck-together-look.

[Propsdue]

Hey Mr cheeks thanx for the CC..Adam Polina?..neva been compared to him before...great points I'll make neccesary adjustments for the next 3 pages

[cheeks-74]

i forgot to mention, which is the most important guideline, when you draw a sequential page without dialogue then keep in mind that you are also drawing for an audience who may not be familiar with these characters. when I mentioned the 3 "s" rule that basically covers that aspect. the viewers more familiar with the characters will appreciate that more. how can I upload my own work on this site?

[Propsdue]

Thanx mista cheeks

[shade333]

Hey man, this is ShaderX from DWP. I really like what you've done with the ball room. I've seen at least a dozen different renditions of this script(including my own roughs) and this is the best party room yet.

The dog slighty resembles a triceratops, I love the way you always draw guns. It seems like your scans take away from your work It kinda seems like the contrast my be a bit high or something.

[Propsdue]

Hey Shade thanks dude..Your absolutely right about the scans..I'll draw a decent pic, post, and be like "geez who drew that crap!"
I might have the contrast a bit too high as you said..because a lot of that "hazy effect" and stray linework are actually my blue line construction....Thats no good