Spiderman Marvel Test Plot (again!)

[Sinx]

It's a long time since I posted anything as I've been working on an 8 page story for DWP. Anyway, here are some of the Marvel test plot Spiderman sequential pages (3 to 5) I had a go at.


I hate the last panel, I absolutely ran out of ideas for angles.
C & C appreciated as always.

[JohnnyBoy]

Shading, composition and perspective, great! I find two problems:

I don't recognize the big fellow (that's my bad), but is seems like the light is hitting him the same way in every panel and every angle.

I also found some of the characters a little rigid and the anatomy a little weird. Altough I love to composition on the third panel of the last page, I think spidey's right leg looks funny.

[chynco]

YOu worked hard on these pages and it shows. Lots of detail and a good attept at realistic shading

Most of your characters, besides Hyde, lack eppressive faces , especially the people in the foreground of the first panel.

the panels all seem a little too cluttered, but I do rememebr there was a lot happening in that script, a little too much for my style of pacing.
Hyde looks really big...is he supposed to be that big?

the second page is nice, I don't have too many quabbles with it.

The first panel of the third page has a lot of tengents happening. almsot everythign is right next to the border. You need to also change one of these next couple panels to really show that they fell off a balcony... all we see right now is them having a tussle and then suddenly falling. The third panel is a really nice dramatic angle, but you need to flip it to follow the direction of the movement in the panel before it.(left to right)

The fourth panel is VERY jarring to the reader. at first Hyde was on top then he's looking up? he didint suddenly switch position did he? if you just made it so he's looking DOWN at spidey it'd help with flow.
and another thing about falling scenes is that i like a lot of space to help show movement. so it'd be good to have a long shot to show how high they are or how much they've fallen and that sort of thing.

Pretty nice pages, good luck. I hope i helped.

[Sinx]

JohnnyBoy - The villain is Mr.Hyde. I tried to use lighting to make him more menacing...maybe I overused it!
chynco - Hey, thanks for the detailed crit. There was a lot happening in the plot, and to include everything just got a bit confusing. As for the struggle on the balcony, you had to show Mary Jane's reaction as well as the fight - so yeah, there is an in between frame missing.

Interesting about the figure stiffness, I've had another couple of comments along those lines...

Cheers

[JR Studio]

Nice storytelling! Backgrounds and all mentioned above! I think your work needs some flair or style once you have that you'll be a superstar. Really all joking aside you have a lot of talent.

[Sinx]

Thanks JR Studio!