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Thread: Co-Writer Challenge #5: RIOT !

  1. #11

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    For the Kickstarter:

    I guess the question is whether PJ contributors would submit art they've already done, or whether they'd produce new art for the book.

    Spike Trotman found that paying people a page rate upon delivery of their completed comics ensured that they actually produced. Promising shares of profits from book sales produced a lot of words, but not much art.

    Either one raises a few questions: Who would spearhead the project? Edit the book, that is, accept and reject submissions?

    Contests:
    An entry fee would probably deter more people than would be enticed by a prize. Then again, the SA forum seems to do well charging a fee.
    Scripts & Story Fragments

    Sketchbook

    PUMMEL [M] 11 wins | 23 losses | 7 knockouts

  2. #12
    I would love to throw my hat into the ring. This sounds like fun.

  3. #13
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    Finally got going on this as well with my co-labber... But should hopefully be finished by Saturday! Anyone else?

  4. #14

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    Would anyone else benefit from an extension?
    Scripts & Story Fragments

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    PUMMEL [M] 11 wins | 23 losses | 7 knockouts

  5. #15
    I'm not entering this one, focused on the individual writing contest instead. Looking forward to reading what everyone comes up with though!

  6. #16
    Lincoln faked his death...there, I said it. [SUPPORTER]
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    cbikle's Avatar
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    Unless anyone objects, I can extend this til the end of this month.

  7. #17
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    No objections! Will give myself & the Parse-d one enough time to work ours out...

    Now I can give full attention to my "Fear not my love" script!

  8. #18
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    Extension? Yes please, this is a script I would like to finish

  9. #19
    Lincoln faked his death...there, I said it. [SUPPORTER]
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    OK, done................

  10. #20
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    I'm going to start posting our co-lab pages to make sure we get around to finishing it! So feel free to comment as it goes up, or wait until Page 10 when complete! Will be updating this post, so won't be bumping the thread every few days as I post pages...

    No More Normals


    Words by Chris2.0 & Parse

    Art by …?

    All characters Chris2.0 & Parse. Art …?


    Premise:
    • What would the superpowering of every man, woman and child on Earth mean? What would you do if you can do whatever you want, period. You can fly, or have the power to level whole city blocks. Or save people. Animal activists will take down factories, human rights activists governments. A dictator standing in front of a mob of thousands of superpowered, hungry, oppressed people.


    Character Descriptions (in order of appearance):
    ● The main character through which we see all the action – a young black kid, spiky hair, sort of reminds you of the newsstand kid from the Watchmen comic’s Black Freighter issues. Around 12ish – he wears tattered jeans and sneakers, but has a fairly clean t-shirt on.

    ● The rest are not super-heroes per se, but newly powered “heroes” with a dizzying array of powers and abilities… All in everyday clothes, some in suits, others in casuals, some even in rags…

    ● Mal-X2 – a comic about an African-American Super-hero that The Kid is reading… Mal-X2’s super-hero costume should be a mix of red, gold and black, with a domino-type mask to cover his eyes and nose.

    Locations:
    • Washington DC, from downtown to McPherson Square, the Federal building and then the White House…
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Downtow...ngton,_D.C.%29
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupy_D.C.

    Page 1 (6 Panels)

    Panel 1: Show a street in Washington DC, USA (Photo Ref!!!) – a homeless child sitting on the street, in front of an alley, more homeless people dressed in rags visible behind him. There are cars parked next to the street, and cars traveling in the street. Everyday city life is taking place, cars going bumper to bumper, people walking, heads down. The White House and monuments visible in the background.

    (Caption – Washington DC, USA)


    Panel 2: Zooming in a bit on the kid, around him everyday city life is taking place, cars going bumper to bumper, people walking, heads down. The Kid is reading a comic book, so the cover should be visible – Tales of Mal-X2 – about an African American Super-hero… His face should be visible at least beneath the logo...

    (Caption – A day like any other…)


    Panel 3 - Change of POV – we’re now looking at the same kid, but from a window a few stories up. And on the left of the panel is a young Japanese man – The Scientist. We only see his back or at most a profile shot of him from the side, looking down out of the window. He is holding a small tape recorder in his right hand, hence we can show him monologue-ing… Next to the right side of the window should be a blank wall – next panel he’ll be falling against it…

    Speech balloon - The Scientist:
    1 Minute after the Meta-X-Factor nano-gene was administered.

    Speech balloon - The Scientist (Linked):
    Slight fever as the antibodies in my bloodstream tries to fight this forced evolution…

    Speech balloon - The Scientist (Linked):
    But nothing I can’t--


    Panel 4 – He’s fallen against the wall, holding his chest with his right arm… We see his face, and the band-aid covering the injection site on his right arm (front-of-the-elbow). Note to artist / colourist – behind his hand covering his chest it has actually started glowing, so show some light seeping through…

    Speech balloon - The Scientist (Burst):
    Uggh…

    Speech balloon - The Scientist (Linked):
    What’s wrong? I calculated all the possible outcomes?!


    Panel 5 – Small inset panel – Zoomed in to more or less just an outline of the scientist, with intensely bright light now filling the whole panel. So most colours will be washed out. Scientist is still in same position as previous panel.

    Speech - The Scientist (Burst):
    Aaargh!


    Panel 6: (Big Panel): We’re back outside again, more or less same POV as Panel 1, as an energy wave (photoshopped, not drawn – distorted lens effects) rips thru the whole panel, going thru everybody and everything… The energy wave/bubble fills about half of the panel.

    SFX - The Scientist (near window where he was working):
    Aaargh!

    (Caption – From the earliest times, one of mankind's greatest wishes had been to fly.)

    Page 2 (5 Panels)

    Panel 1 – More or less same panel as previous one, just smaller, and the energy wave/bubble has now moved to the edges of the bubble. Next we’ll start looking at the after-effects…

    Caption:
    But as the saying goes – be careful what you wish for...


    Panel 2: Zooming in a bit again, a crowd of people on the street are looking dazed and confused and don’t know what to do. This of course includes the homeless boy, as well as the crowd of pedestrians from the previous page. The same light aura effect what happened to the Scientist is also now happening to them. Some are holding up their hands, looking at them as light is coming out of their hands/bodies!

    (Dialog – What just happened!?)


    Panel 3: And now for the effects… A hipster in the crowd falls into the ground as his density decreases and he turns immaterial and almost translucent. The crowd has moved away from him, and one guy in a suit was pushed off the sidewalk and into the street.

    Dialog – Hipster:
    Hey!


    Panel 4: Suit-guy stumbles/walks into the street & oncoming traffic – a taxi aimed right at him! On the left of the panel is a jogger, his arm/hand stretched out towards suit-guy

    Dialog – Jogger (Burst):
    Watch out!

    Panel 5: The cabbie crashes into him! You see the front end of the taxi deform around suit-guy – he’s still unhurt & standing still – his upper body half turned away and his arms raised in a posture to protect him.

    Dialog – Suit-guy (Burst):


    (Sound effect – Kraaashhh!)

    Page 3 (7 Panels) I see panels 1-3 on top tier, and then panels 4-6 also next to each other on the second tier – as they are the same scene, just divided into 3 to show the different actions taking place.


    Panel 1: But he’s not hurt! He’s looking down at the car wrapped around him, and lets his hands and arms down as well… In the background there’s a big red bus, so keep it visible until Panel 6, when suit-guy is going to get thrown into it!


    Panel 2: He has moved back from the crash site, his suit ripped in places, but his legs unharmed! Other people rush to his aid, and in the process all sort of things happen – a woman flames on & flies away! Another woman turns into bronze as a defence mechanism. Her clothes are not affected, so she kinda looks like a mannequin, just bronze and standing in the street…

    (Dialog – Buddy! Are you all right?)


    Panel 3: The guy in his car is peed-off – scowling and angry as just your typical taxi driver can get, he gets out – destroying the rest of the car in the process. The door is falling to the ground, shattered glass going everywhere. The bronze mannequin is also visible in the background… Suit-guy has moved between the crashed cab and the bus, setting up the next panels where he’s going to be thrown into it…

    (Dialog – Cab driver: Look what you did to my car!)

    (Sound effect – Krash!)



    Panel 4: The taxi driver grabs Suit-guy by his jacket/arms. His pants should still be ripped as per previous panels. Some people still in the background.

    Dialog – Suit-guy:
    Watch it!


    Panel 5: And throws/shoves him backwards, towards the bus!

    (Dialog – Cab driver: Ughh!)



    Panel 6: Suit-guy connects with the side of the bus! More towards the bottom, as he’ll just pass through the bus (and passengers) if he goes into the glass covered top part… The impact lifts up the wheels of bus closest to the cab-driver and crowd.

    (Sound effect – Kraaashhh!)


    Panel 7: The impact knocks the bus off its wheels and onto its side! Suit-guy is still embedded in the side of the bus as well!

    (Sound effect – Whammm!)

    Page 4 (6 Panels)


    Panel 1: But then a clear force bubble surrounds the bus – projected by a man on the right of the panel. He’s holding his hands by his head – Prof X-style… The bubble around the bus is connected to a bubble around his head – think I remember John Byrne drawing Sue Storm’s power this way? TK guy is Hispanic.

    (TK Sound effect – Whoom…)


    Panel 2: He picks the bus up from its side, tilting it back towards the crowd/cab driver. TK guy is shouting towards the people on the left of the panel, his left arm and hand pointing towards them, other hand still on head.

    (TK Sound effect – Whoom…)

    Dialog – TK guy:
    Watch out!



    Panel 3: And then puts it down on its wheels. SFX near each wheel on the ground. TK guy is on his knees, both hands on his head again…

    (TK Sound effect – Whoom…)

    (Sound effect – Doof!)

    Dialog – TK guy:
    Too much strain…


    Panel 4: More or less same panel as previous, without force bubble of course. And the doors of the bus have opened. People get out, some bloodied and injured, but all want to attack the cabbie! TK guy has also fallen forward, either passed out or dead from the exertion…

    (Dialog – Let’s get him!)


    Panel 5: But a peacemaker arrives, talking and working at superspeed, separating the parties. So lots of superspeed “ghosts” over the panel, running in a circle around the cabbie, separating him from the crowd on the left of the panel, and the angry bus passengers on the right. Superspeed gal is an Asian woman.

    Dialog – Superspeed gal:
    Come on people…
    Linked Dialog – Superspeed gal:
    … let’s stop …
    Linked Dialog – Superspeed gal:
    … and think first!


    Panel 6: By now the traffic is completely stationary – cars backed up to the end of the panel. People are of course rubbernecking to see what’s happening, some still in car, some climbed out. Of the ones outside, some fly/float away. Then shots are fired! For now we only see the SFX of the shots on the right side of the page.

    (Sound effect – Blam! Blam! Blam!)
    Page 5 (6 Panels)


    Panel 1: Still in the same street, we now have the robbers who fired the shots in the previous panel. View from across the street where the bus-shenanigans were taking place last page. There are 3 robbers. 2 male, one female. They are running away from the “Rings & Things” jewellery store with money and stolen merchandise. They are dressed in jeans & sneakers, with jackets over their T-shirts. RobberMale1 has a dark shirt on, Male2 a white one. And RobberFemale has a red t-shirt on, as well as being of a slighter build than the 2 males. They are wearing balaclava masks. The female one is shooting back at the store, to discourage pursuit…

    Dialog – RobberMale1:
    Dammit, where’s our getaway car!?

    Sound effects:
    Blam! Blam!


    Panel 2: POV still from the street, towards the robbers. They stand still next to the row of parked cars, which is of course next to the giant gridlock on the street with the overturned bus & crowd…

    Dialog – RobberMale2:
    Dude, WTH happened here!?

    Linked Dialog – RobberMale2:
    We never saw this much traffic casing out this place?


    Panel 3: Change of POV, now from behind the 3 robbers, towards the crowd. Of course the bus is still there as well, as is the gridlocked cars… The crowd’s attention is focused on them…

    Dialog – RobberMale1:
    Uh-oh, they look kinda pissed-off…

    Dialog – RobberFemale:
    Ughhh, I feel sick…


    Panel 4: Same POV as previous panel as they shoot at people, but some of the bullets ricochet back, other are absorbed, while other hit their targets and kill. The speedster from the previous page runs from the spot where he was – and the person behind him is shot in the face!


    (Dialog – Suit-guy: Let’s get them!)

    (Sound effect – Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!)



    Panel 5: Side view from down the street, robbers on the left, crowd on the right. The people’s mob mentality takes over, and they advance on the robbers – and said robber’s guns are out of ammo.

    Dialog – RobberMale1:
    I’m out!

    (Sound effect – Blam! Click! Click!)


    Panel 6: View from behind the crowd as they let loose on them! The crooks are struck by lightning, cold blasts and laser beams!

    (Sound effect – Crackle! Whoosh! Ka-zing!)

    We had to cut the RobberFemale's super-power because of space constraints - she started vomiting super-caustic acid at the crowd!


    Page 6 (6 Panels)


    Panel 1: Small panel as we go back to our homeless kid & his eyes start glowing.


    Panel 2: Another small panel next to above one, as the kid floats off the ground…

    Dialog – Kid:
    Whoah…


    Panel 3 (Big panel): Kid is floating in the air, about 2 stories above the ground, he looks at a giant outdoor TV as the female announcer speaks.

    (Caption – 9 minutes after the event)

    (Dialog – the aftermath of what the White House is calling the Event.)

    (Dialog – Upstate prisons has been reduced to rubble and the majority of inmates have escaped, now super-powered… )

    (Dialog – Not a local phenomenon – it’s happening worldwide!)


    Panel 4: He is floating halfway up next to a building – looking down to the pavement/street, he sees a girl that has started growing. She’s about 14 feet tall at this stage… Have a ghost image of her with growth lines up to her present size. People around her are making space for her, and pointing up & looking towards her…

    Dialog – Gigantica:
    Help! What’s happening to me!?

    Panel 5: Show the girl, now half the height of the building… Show her with her hands around her throat as she’s out of breath and she collapsed against the building on the right side of the panel, windows cracked and shattered, raining down on that side.

    Dialog – Gigantica:
    I can’t breath…

    (Sound effect – Krrashh!)


    Panel 6: The building collapses, taking her and half the people inside the building with her… The metal and concrete skeleton of the building visible, and people, desks, computers and filing cabinets falling out of the windows…

    (Sound effect – K-rrumble!!)
    Page 7 (4 Panels)


    Panel 1: The Kid is still floating 2 stories off the ground, and is now seeing Occupy DC protestors (with banners and placards) rising up, aiming for (a fictionalised) The Amalgamated Retail Products (TARP) Bank – the object of their ire… So kid is in the middle of the panel, still glowing, looking away from the reader. The protestors are on the left of the panel, and a building on the right. Not too high, I’ve read that Washington has a maximum height law for buildings – no more than xx meters/xx feet. And building should be a dark glass and concrete eyesore next to the older buildings in the street. TARP logo on the top. As a semi-hidden in-joke, I’d like a few of the placards to have the word “Occupy” on it, but the the DC part are the various versions of the DC comics logo over the last few decades…

    Dialog – Protester:
    Who has the power now…!?

    Dialog – Protester:
    Let’s take them down!



    Panel 2: The protestors have reached the building on the right, the kid is now more to the left of the panel. The protesters rip off the doors and smash the windows of the building, using super strength, force blasts and shockwaves.

    (Sound effect – Crash!)


    Panel 3: The top of the building explodes! View from street level, looking up. Kid has gone off-panel.

    (Sound effect – Ba-boom!)


    Panel 4: And standing in the wreckage of the top floor, are suit and tied bankers, looking and screaming down at them! Same view from below.

    Dialog – Banker suit:
    Is that all you’ve got!?

    Page 8 (5 Panels)


    Panel 1: The Kid looks over to the White House – so should be from an angle where we can see the front and the dome on top. But ominously, there is smoke coming out of the windows and broken walls…


    Panel 2: There’s an explosion and someone / few people are flung back & outwards from the buildingWe can see where they are headed by the smoke trail behind them…They’ve been blown a good few hundred feet away from the building, first going up, and now down…

    (Sound effect – Ka-boom!) Smaller font – it’s from a distance!



    Panel 3: We move to the inside, and inside the Oval Office (Photo Ref!!!), Secret Service agents try their best to contain a multitude of super-powered people, but a few slip thru, raining hellfire and damnation on them... So we have a nice blend of ethnicity (black/white/Hispanic) SS agents on the one hand, and then an even better ethnic mix on the attackers. We have rednecks, muslims, native Americans, Africans in traditional garb, hipsters, etc, etc…


    Dialog – SS agent1:
    Is the President safe?

    Dialog – SS agent2:
    Take them out!

    (Sound effects – Krak! Fsss! Krunch! Bzzzzt!)



    Panel 4: The view change to outside again as the dome of the White House is blown off!

    (Sound effect – Kra-Koom!)



    Panel 5: Then they see the sky blacken & thousands, if not millions of people drop from the skies towards the White House – religious extremists and terrorists or just anybody who’s got a bone to pick with the Prez of the US. I had it as George W, but think Obama is more recognizable? Take you pick… I see him on the grounds in front of the White House, halfway turned to the reader so we can see who it is, and his fists glowing with power. His suit is pretty much shredded as well.

    Dialog – POTUS:
    I’ll be damned – thought everybody loved me…?
    Page 9 (4 Panels) Page has one big panel on top, and then 3 small panels on one tier below that.


    Panel 1 (Big Panel): The Kid is still floating up – he’s just above the city, looking down, so we see his back. He’s still glowing… He sees black smoke going up from countless places in the city! People are everywhere in the skies over the city as well! Some are flying, others are going backwards from a punch or kick, and others are broken bits of human body falling or flung away! Energy blasts are also going left and right, up and down!

    (Sound effects – Ka-zing! Ka-zing! Kraash! Boo-oom!) Smaller font – it’s from a distance!



    Panel 2: We zoom in on the Kid… He’s actually turned about a quarter of the way around towards us.

    Dialog – Kid:
    This-s-s….


    Panel 3: We continue zooming in on the Kid… He’s turned half way around towards us.


    Dialog – Kid:
    …c-c-can’t go on….


    Panel 4: Close up on the Kid… He’s got tears in his eyes, glowing just like the rest of his body…

    Dialog – Kid:
    …l-l-like this….
    Page 10 (6 Panels)


    Panel 1: Still a view on The Kid from the front at his eye level, but we’re still a couple of stories up in the sky… He is holding his arms apart a bit wider than chest width. He’s also glowing more than before…


    Caption – Kid:
    No….


    Panel 2: The Kid’s glow is filling up most of the panel, only feint outlines of him (in same position) visible inside the glow, along with a couple of lines where the major buildings were in the previous panel.

    Caption – Kid:
    …more….


    Panel 3: A complete white-out panel…

    Caption – Kid:
    …super….


    Panel 4: Back to the same scene as in Panel 1, we’re just a bit closer to The Kid – but now, instead of the kid glowing, he’s holding a glowing ball in his hands in front of him.

    Caption – Kid:
    …powers….


    Panel 5: Still closer towards The Kid, we can now only see him from the middle and up. The glowing ball of Light/Energy is also smaller – and The Kid has a look of near-total exertion on his face as he’s pushing the ball together with his hands.

    Dialog – Kid (burst):
    Aaargh!


    Panel 6: Even closer on The Kid, now only showing him from the chest and up, and his empty hands are also visible. His eyes have started glowing in this panel, and a hint of a smile is visible on his face… He’s wearing Mal-X2’s super-hero costume – so we see the same mix of red, gold and black, with a domino-type mask to cover his eyes and nose.

    Dialog – Kid:
    Now for Mal-X2 to save everyone…


    THE END…
    The ending was originally going to be that the Earth could not withstand all the energy and punishment dished out, and exploded, leaving just The Kid and a select few Super-Powered Individuals around, but now having to find a new planet/place to call home...
    Last edited by Chris2.0; 07-02-2013 at 07:08 AM. Reason: Added Page 10

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