Reply With QuoteCool drawing intresting story telling.
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Hey guys first time posting here on pencil jack and I’m hoping to get feedback.
Last edited by titomiranda; 08-15-2012 at 09:29 PM.
Cool drawing intresting story telling.
THANKS SO MUCH !! is there anything iyou think i should change?
Some interesting action on this page, Tito! My main critique is in regards to anatomy of the full bodied figure to the right. I realize that your figures are stylized, but even so there are a few areas that look off to me. The anatomy from the waist up is pretty good except for the oversized trapezius muscles near the neck. His neck just kind of gets lost in that area. The thigh muscles are also off. Do a Google search on body-builders for how the upper leg muscles ought to look. His crotch also appears somewhat shrunken and up too high. Lower that a bit, and you might consider giving him less skin-tight shorts too.
With a couple of adjustments I think your page will look more impactfull and accurate!
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PUMMEL(H): W: 36 L: 22 KO: 12 MC:3(Lhw)3.5(Hw) 05/05/13
Objectifying the panels (making a floor/horizon of the border) is bad juju. Automatic 10 point deduction from any submission's editor worth their salt. You've exacerbated it by allowing the head to break the plane but not the forearm and hand which are closer to us.
As is, if the winner's foot is on the loser's back, then the rear leg is a couple feet shorter than the front. Drop the back knee and lift the front one. But this still leaves the objectified border... d'oh!
You need a proper horizon. You can raise it into the shot, allowing us to look down on the loser. You can lower it out of the panel and allow the edge of the canvas do your cropping as though viewed from the first row.
I say we put your guy and mine together for a cage match...
Smitty gave some great advice there! i'd also say that panel two is confusing, has the winner jumped up with the uppercut and landed behind the loser? if so there's very little here to tell us that he has and if not then the loser should land facing us (if that makes sense?). if its the case that the winner has jumped over him i think you've picked the least dynamic part of that action. i remember reading joe mad saying that he images it like an animation and its his job to pause it at the most dynamic and exciting part of the motion!
also in panel three remember to leave room for speech bubbles!
it's a very nice page and i love the impact "sparks" in panel one!
will do thanks so much!
thanks for the help. we shall have a match!
Nice page! Main thing I see that is 'off' is that he gets a humongous uppercut, and then his EYE is swollen in the last panel. It would read better giving him a mouth full of broken teeth, and leave the eye alone.
How old is this image? I remember this pic from somewhere else a long time ago.
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