x-men 1st Class rough/layouts

**stoat** · 07-29-2012, 01:11 PM

Good call Bryan, If in doubt lay yourself at the feet of the sensei

**BrianGilman** · 07-29-2012, 07:59 PM

hey stoat,

Here's some feedback

Panel 1: this is drawn pretty well so far, especially the guys below spidey. Spidey's butt is too big/round and his waist is too small. I think it may be effective to make spidey a little larger as well, exaggerate the distance a little more. his shoulders could use a little more muscle as well, he's a teenager but he's no slouch. Your perspective here is alright, but the end of the building by the guys on the street seems like its leaning too far to the left. If you tilt the building's vertices to the right, it should fix it, because spiderman and the guys on the street seem to be in good perspective. i REALLY love the guys on the street, great job.

panel 2: his hands are too small here. since his spidey sense is going off, you could have benefited from a more dramatic titled angle, just showing his face. I think that would have increased the drama a lot more.

panel 3: i want to see some motion lines or something to know where the snowball came from. the splash is pretty good though. in this panel I think you could have made spidey smaller so you could fit the whole pose into the panel without it feeling cramped. In the 1st, 3rd, and 4th panels spideys body is about the same size, you want to make sure you get a good variation of figure sizes in a full page. If he's pushing off the ledge with his hand, his body will center itself on a line of gravity because he is pushing off upwards with his hand.

panel 4: I don't know if Torch or Spidey is speaking first here, if spidey is, push him farther left and leave some room above him for the words. then have torch a little below/farther right and iceman off to the right side. that way as we read we can follow the words without any problem since they are clearly left to right.

overall this is well drawn, and with a little tweaking here and there you can have a great page! want to see more!!!

**stoat** · 07-30-2012, 07:49 AM

Thanks for the comments Brian
appreciate you taking the time,your insights are always made with Clarity, I'm always going "oh yeah,of course!"
Definately taking on board everything you've highlighted, Size variation is something I need to work on,( along with everything else

) got to say I'm enjoying the learning process and having your guys input is invaluable.

**stoat** · 08-05-2012, 11:06 AM

Hi All edited the thread to put all the pages together at the front,
All crits and advice more than welcome.

**Bryan E.Warner** · 08-05-2012, 02:19 PM

You Know Buddy I just thought of something....this is the Works in progress Sketch section...I think you should be posting in the Seq-Art section..Just a thought

**BrianGilman** · 08-05-2012, 10:22 PM

Hey stoat - gonna hit your 2nd page here

2.1 - Jonny storms face is a little flat here, we should see at least a little of his right eye, and some of the face on the right side of his mouth. Icemans body is too narrow as well, using an Egg shape for the ribcage here will help flesh him out a little more. You've got a tangent on the top of Jonnys head and the edge of the building here, pull down the building a little bit or move jonny up. Spideys got a really good pose, however it isn't in the perspective we see because it looks like he's about to fall over backwards. You've left a good amount of space for the text though, which is great. So with a little cleanup on the figures in this panel, it can be great!

2.2 - good angle here, This kind of body language is a good way too communicate with spiderman because of his mask, so well done on that, his wrist looks a little too sharply angled. The wrist would definitely be more straight in that kind of pose, take a look at yourself in the mirror and see how the wrist relates to the hand and you'll be golden.

2.3 - spideys neck needs a little clarification here... more like a cylinder. Johnnys head is too small again and he is also out of perspective. in the first panel, it looks like the ledge is about as tall as the bottom of icemans belt, now we see the ledge above his belt. You might change icemans pose a little bit, like looking at spidey and johnny so he looks more involved in the discussion.

2.4 - I think this composition works, but I feel like iceman is too short. I almost want to see this as a "profile" from the side so we can see all 3 characters again, this way we can clearly see spideys "about to swing off" pose and that could give you more room for the text, which looks a bit cramped right now. But remember, with this many characters actively participating in the story, it's important for them all to stay in the same positions so the reader doesn't lose their sense of "place".

2.5 - with this pose, I want to see either no part of spiderman off the panel or a lot of him coming off the panel, not just his toes. I'm not really buying the pose, it looks a little stiff. Remember it's a swinging motion. I also want to see iceman and Torch in the background so we are reminded of where he came from and that we are leaving that place now.

I want you to go out and get the book "Figure drawing for all it's worth" by Andrew Loomis, it's free to download on many different websites. There is a section about drawing figures in perspective and it's very easy to follow and do (I'm working through it myself). I think doing some of these exercises and then implementing them into your work will greatly improve your figures and sense of space in your drawings in general. You're on the right path and each page is an improvement, so keep chuggin!

**Juggertha** · 08-05-2012, 10:39 PM

I like the teen-ish vibe you're giving the characters. Looks cool.

In that newest page, I'm not a fan of that first Spidey pose - the squatting one. He seems like he's missing more of a butt. I know we want him slimmish, but consider playing around with it a bit. Also, the angle of view on that frame is looking down from about 40 degrees. You've got the Bg and the other characters working well with that, but Spidey is off. Consider playing with the footing a bit as well.

Nice pages though, man.

**stoat** · 08-06-2012, 07:05 AM

Cheers Brian and Juggertha for the insights.
Mr Loomis is off the shelf, soon as I get home tonight to help get those figures in persective.
Spidey's Butt is an additional ongoing issue for me!
Panels 2.4 & 2.5 are bugging me senseless too,so going to try and rework some sketches this week.Hopefully work these pages out and draw up soon.
Thanks again for taking the time,helps me out no end.