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Road
A short comic I've made. Enjoy!
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Neophyte
I absolutely love it! The coloring is fantastic and the storytelling is great. The anatomy, for all intents and purposes, is correct.
If I had to pick out some things to work on, I'd say to work on the flow of your action scenes. For instance, the part where the mt. lion slaps the dog is a little unclear and the choice of shots and camera angles negates the intensity of the action. The other thing I would work on is the fluidity of movement in your character's poses. More specifically, I'd say to work on doing some looser gestures when initially laying out your pages. All of the characters feel a little bit stiff.
These are just minor nitpicks though. Taken as a whole, these pages are very strong. Keep up the good work!
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Member
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Neophyte
my main crit would be the first panel....it looks like in the next panels that the dog is in front to of the car, it would be good to see an indication of the dog in panel 1
also i could not tell what happened the to car, i am assuming something happened to the driver and he had to pull over,
i see the driver in the car sitting upright so i wasn't sure if the car was still moving...if the car is broken down, really show that to the viewer so they dont' have any questions, the hood open, a tire removed...and if the driver is hurt really show that to
...also, vary your line weight a bit more on the figures and animals
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nice, I always like stories with no words.... thank you for posting!
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Member
Really loved the coloring of the two panels where the hunter reaches for the dog, and the dog snarls back. Had the whole "Green Light/Red Light" GO/STOP vibe to it that helped convey a ton with simple color use.
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Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Excellent work man, loved it.
I feel like there was missed opportunities for dramatic scenes like panel to depict the mountain lion smacking the dog, there was no "contact" panel, it was just a swipe and his down and the same for the big surprise when the mountain lion gets shot in the head, I kinda expected the next panel showing the lion tumbling to the ground with a hole in its head next to the dog.
Also it might be a good idea to give a slightly different colour to both animals, I'm not saying it was hard to follow but at very first glance I got a little confused which animal was what. I think it was because in the panel with the dog barking, I thought it was a bear lol.
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