Walril, robozo was kind enough to spend his time giving a detailed crit. It is fine if you don't agree with it. That is what this place is about. I personally would like to thank Robozo for taking the time.
Phrases like lame and corny have no business being in a serious critique even if you meant no harm in using them. Any good points you make could be lost pretty quickly when you use phrases that are normally taken as insults. It's that more than anything that makes me scratch my head. It's not about whether you post your art or not, you just need to choose better words when you're leaving critiques.
These pages have very nice backgrounds. Very easy to follow.
I only see one panel that I think is worthy of redrawing, and that's the closeup headshot where Daredevil is profile and cropped at the top. It's not the cropping that bothers me as much as you started the rounding off of the head too early. That panel just doesn't work well.
The perspective is also off in the final panel of the final page.
Thanks all for stopping by!
Dfbovey, will do one last round of corrections, so your input has been noted!
Walril, you are my hero.
Robozo, I kinda figured english wasn't your first language. No offense taken, I appreciate the comments!
Never without passion.
Looks great.nice work.takes balls to try this script without being impacted by the original art.
@dfbovey: whatever your reputation, you have no right to come on this thread and bully Robozo, who has been nice enough to offer a critique, and has been nothing but humble in his willingness to take the flack from other members on here. Read his comments. He has been very modest and apologetic, despite not needing to be.
@Ugga Bugga : I couldn't agree more.
@Walril : It's not a requirement to prove your skills, to post an opinion. Especially one that is meant to be helpful. If Robozo posts great art does that mean all of his critiques are validated? If I draw well does that mean all my opinions are correct?
PencilJack is by an large a critique forum. The members get to like or not like, comment or not comment on whatever they want no matter what their qualifications. As long as it's not overtly rude.
Okay, back to what this thread is actually supposed to be about, the work:
1) Nice tight pencils. I really like the clean hatching around DareDevil's nose on Page 2, Panel 4 as well as the hatching on mafiaguy on Page 5 panel 3. I think in these two illustrations in particular it hints at a distinct style and presentation that needs to be carried throughout.
2) The anatomy is a little stiff in some places like Page 1, Panel 2 and Page 3, Panel 2. You can download Daz Studio for free, it's really easy to use, and you can pose some figures after you figure out your layouts, to help tweak a pose until it feels more loose and fluid.
3) Be careful of redundant panels telling us the same information. Now perhaps the script calls for these panels, for text or whatever, I don't know. That said, Page 1, Panel 1, 2 and PAge 2 Panel 1 all kind of do the same thing. They tell us that Daredevil is at an outdoor wedding.
4) Page 4, Panel 3: It's hard to tell if Daredevil is being thrown, or jumping away from the "badguy", Spot or whatever. I am guessing jumping, but the position os "Spot's arms make that unclear. I am not saying, I don't get it I am saying it's unclear. As in murky. Murky things can often be understood, though the image/idea isn't fully realized, if that makes sense.
Well that's it for me. And good luck. Your stuff looks great.