illustration and sequentials -BrianGilman

[Bryan E.Warner]

So far so good....I don't think I've ever seen blinds go to the floor.....or is that some weird door?

[jdmakescomics]

This is going to sound odd and specific, but I think the composition'd work better if you cut off some of that blank floor at the bottom. The horizon line is so low that our "eye" would be pretty darn close to the floor by the bottom of your frame...so without anything to indicate that, the perspective begins looking incorrect when it's actually not.

[Deth]

Is very well drawn but the only thing I notice that I might be bothered with if I were the client is that I would have no idea that that was kenada. Could be the Fonz as far as I could tell. But, as long as the client likes it, it's a good drawing so far

[BrianGilman]

Thanks everyone, it's coming along nicely. Will post the finished image tomorrow!

@Bryan E.Warner: I think it's like one of those gates you pull down when it's closing time that shops have like in malls and stuff, I just looked at the way this bar was drawn in the book and sort of took the elements that I liked and put them into this image.

@literacysuks1: I'm working on fixing the empty floor as we speak

@Deth: the client has seen the image and is fine with the way I drew Kaneda. To be honest, I can't draw in a manga style to save my life, so I made sure he understood what he was getting into before I started working on this.

[Bruce Lee]

Brian,

Welcome to PJ! Your figure drawing skills seem to be pretty good, and that's what the success of this drawing is resting on, but I think you probably need to work on your perspective, just a little. Your drawing looks pretty good at a glance, but I think this illustration could benefit from a few minor tweaks. In the spirit of providing some constructive criticism, please allow me to offer some feedback on a few things.

A couple of areas are just a little odd. The lower right leg of the guy leaning against the counter looks to be a little too short. He appears to have really short, stubby shins--at least on his right leg. His lower left leg, even though it's foreshortened, still appears to be longer than the lower right.

Another thing that's kind of weird-- the guy's right foot seems to defying the laws of spacial physics. His right heel seems flush against the bottom of the counter. This seems particularly odd since the guy is leaning backwards against the counter, and the countertop overhangs the counter by at least several inches. It makes for some spacial awkwardness.

If you lengthening his lower right leg a little more, I think you'll be solving the spacial problems and the leg proportion issue. This will also help to make the figure appear to fit the perspective a little better.

Speaking of perspective...You have the right ideas about it, but it looks like you kind of eyeballed the vectoring a little bit. The vector grid lines don't seem to be adding up to the same shared vanishing point though. Things look to be a tad off here and there.

Be careful when you place objects in your perspective drawings. The chairs look to be too small here. They kind of look like those tiny chairs made for kids rather than for adults. The seats appear to be extremely low to the ground. Both chairs need to be higher off the ground if you want to make your scene more credible.

The table should be conforming to the perspective vectoring of this scene, but it doesn't really.

I worked up a quick overlay for you in Photoshop that I hope will be useful to you, Brian. Just a few notes on it too--more or less the same points I've written here, but I think it's always good to see things visually. Hope this helps:



It's nice to have another new artist here on PJ. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work, Brian!

Take care,
Loston

[BrianGilman]

Hey Loston,

That's an amazing critique right there. You pointed out all of the things that I just couldn't quite put my finger on. Trying to figure out how tall to make the chairs was really difficult and trying to make the table seem correct, because I think this is the first time I've done this kind of perspective. Your insights are invaluable, thanks!

Brian

[Neon Neuron]

Yeah, you totally captured 'Neda on this. I think this is a perfect portrayal of their relationship, too.
I also agree with what you say about Akira fan art. Good composition.

Also, Loston does it again!

[Bryan E.Warner]

Hey Loston,

That's an amazing critique right there. You pointed out all of the things that I just couldn't quite put my finger on. Trying to figure out how tall to make the chairs was really difficult and trying to make the table seem correct, because I think this is the first time I've done this kind of perspective. Your insights are invaluable, thanks!

Brian

You know we are very Very lucky to have an Artist of Lostons caliber here at Penciljack...He has an eye for things that astounds me..and has helped me out many times...You should visit his Art-Blog Brian ( if you haven't already )

[Bruce Lee]

Hey Loston,

That's an amazing critique right there. You pointed out all of the things that I just couldn't quite put my finger on. Trying to figure out how tall to make the chairs was really difficult and trying to make the table seem correct, because I think this is the first time I've done this kind of perspective. Your insights are invaluable, thanks!

Brian

Really glad I could help, Brian. Perspective really can be difficult to figure out sometimes. It can be very tricky if you haven't done it a lot. There are some good books on perspective out there that I found to be very helpful, Brian. I can recommend three of them to you. All three of these books are currently available, so I also included links to Amazon for your convenience:

-THREE-DIMENSIONAL DRAWING (aka SUCCESSFUL DRAWING), by Andrew Loomis. This is one of the very best books I've seen on the subject. Goes into details about hanging figures in perspective, etc.
http://www.amazon.com/Successful-Dra...essful+drawing

http://www.amazon.com/Three-Dimensio...sional+drawing

-PERSPECTIVE MADE EASY, by Ernest R. Norling. This is a good solid book on basic fundamentals of perspective.
http://www.amazon.com/Perspective-Ma...tive+made+easy

-PERSPECTIVE FOR COMIC BOOK ARTISTS, by David Chelsea. This book is both informative and fun to read. A very good book on the subject that's also entertaining.
http://www.amazon.com/Perspective-Co...c+book+artists

Keep up the good work!

[BrianGilman]

Hey Loston,

I actually own all three of those books. I applied the changes you suggested and I'll have the finished product up later today. Thanks again!!

Brian