First post- 2 pages

[BrianGilman]

hey all,
I did these last week and am looking for feedback. Thanks!

[stoat]

Hey Brian,
looks good, Panel 4 pg1 + panel 1 pg 2 stand out from the rest in comparrison to the space scenes,
Maybe it's just the way you've pencilled the blacks but they seem to form shapes that are slightly off putting.The last row of panels look far better.(I'm just finding out for myself how you can actually see development as you work on even a couple of pages.)
I was also wondering that if the ship is leaving the planet in the first panel,whether the planet would be better off placed in the bottom left of the panel, to aid the flow across the page.Like wise on panel 5 the arc of the ships trail seems to cut off the panel too close to the inset?
Frankly,space being mostly a void,It's a pain to draw.
look forward to seeing more.

[BrianGilman]

Thanks for the comments, Stoat. I agree with your observations, this was a really tough thing to draw, especially getting decent compositions. On page1-panel1 because of the way the script is written, i wanted to create sort of a barrier on the right side, to force the viewer to look at the guys face, then follow his eyes down and to the left into the next panel. Whether or not that was successful is up for debate, but it seemed like the best option that I could come up with. I also should have left the "space" portions blank and used the little 'x's to denote the black areas. The pencil lines are definitely a distraction and take away from what I have drawn. Theres another page to this story, but I've got new projects to work on and learn from. Thanks again!