This should read fast, and if you read any and have comments let me know. I'm wondering how cliche all this is. Kind of rips of The Wire, but it's a plot device that works well in the story structure. Also not fully scripted out but what's vital is there. Thanks

PAGE 2
PANEL 1
OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA
Homicide Lieutenant sits at his desk, reading some kind of
document. There is a knock on the door.
SFX
KNOCK KNOCK
PANEL 2
The door opens and Horatio is there in the doorway.
HORATIO
You wanted to see me sir?
PANEL 3
Horatio walks into the room.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
Come in, Horatio. Sit down.
PANEL 4
Homicide Lieutenant looks over his desk at Horatio.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
You’ve done a lot of good work here
in homicide.
HORATIO
...thank you.
Horatio is unsure why he’s saying that.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
But I’ve received a number of
complaints.
PANEL 5
Horatio stares at the Lieutenant, surprised.
HORATIO
Complaints?
PAGE 3
PANEL 1
The Homicide Lieutenant stares at Horatio.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
I believe there was an altercation
yesterday.
PANEL 2
Horatio stares at the desk, angry at being snitched on.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT (OFF PANEL)
I hear that things got fairly
physical.
PANEL 3
Horatio speaks calmly but angrily to the Lieutenant.
HORATIO
Those guys were celebrating a
good man’s death.
PANEL 4
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
Violence is not tolerated in my
division, Horatio.
PANEL 5
HORATIO
You’re not really going to do this.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
If you’re talking about
transferring you, then yes, I am.
PAGE 4
PANEL 1
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
They’re waiting at you in the
graffiti unit, third floor.
Horatio is very angry.
HORATIO
Graffiti unit?
PANEL 2
Horatio is pissed off and stands above his chair.
HORATIO
You know what this is really
about. You and your golden boys-
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
I’m going to suggest you get your
things and go...
PANEL 3
Horatio is cleaning out his desk, putting papers in a
box. He is angry and moving quickly.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT (TEXT BOX)
...before you do something you’ll
regret.
PANEL 4
Horatio is carrying the box from his desk to the open door
of the large room full of cubicles. Three cops by the door,
including Angel Johnson, are smiling like bullies at school.
PANEL 5
Horatio stops in front of the men.
HORATIO
What are you looking at, Angel?
ANGEL
Easy cowboy. Don’t want to end up
in the basement, right?
PANEL 5
Horatio drops the box and steps towards Angel, Angel backs
up, not having expected a physical response.
PAGE 5
PANEL 1
Horatio swings a left at Angel, who dodges it.
PANEL 2
Angel takes a right to the nose, the left having been a
diversion.
PANEL 3
Horatio takes one to the stomach from another cop.
PANEL 4
The men stop as the lieutenant yells off-camera.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT (OFF PANEL)
HORATIO!
PANEL 5
Horatio looks over to the Lieutenant, standing in a room of
cops watching the scene. Angel has his nose bleeding. The
lieutenant is pointing towards the door authoritatively.
PAGE 6
PANEL 1
The lieutenant is still pointing as Horatio stands.
LIEUTENANT
I ought to fire you.
HORATIO
You won’t.
PANEL 2
Horatio looks to the room of detectives; we don’t see where
he’s looking in this panel.
HORATIO
I’ve got too much dirt on this
department.
PANEL 3
Horatio is pointing at the gathered detectives.
HORATIO
All of you!
PANEL 4
The lieutenant is still pointing.
HOMICIDE LIEUTENANT
That’s enough. You’re expected
downstairs.
PANEL 5
Horatio walks down the hall with his box in his hands,
fuming, his box in disarray like he picked everything he
could up within a few seconds.
PAGE 7
PANEL 1
Horatio enters through an open door into a small room with
two desks. Frank Chambers looks up.
CHAMBERS
Horatio Shao?
HORATIO
Is that my desk?
CHAMBERS
Yeah.
PANEL 2
Horatio, still angry, puts his box down and stares at
it. Chambers looks on thinking.
PANEL 3
CHAMBERS
They screwed you out of your
department, huh?
PANEL 4
Horatio looks to Chambers but says nothing.
PANEL 5
CHAMBERS
Welcome to the club.