One page writing challenge - Dinner Party

[My name is Tommy]

Here's my official "Dinner Party" themed entry.

*NOTE: If anyone wants to draw the Super-villain one, feel free. All I ask is a writer credit if you show anyone and that you notify me so I can see the sucker:].

As for this one, I'm actually talking to an artist about extending it and making it an anthology hopeful. If we go with a different story, I'll post on this thread that this story is fine to draw based on the same stips.

(sorry if this is jumbled, it copied weird. Think I fixed it though.


PAGE 1 (8 PANELS)


Panel 1:
We're in the middle of a very barren desert. There's a decrepit
paved road cutting through it, but nothing else as far as the eye
can see.
A very nice, expensive car(think more "luxury vehicle" than "sports
car") is driving on the road. The car is nearly spotless and sticks
out like a sore thumb, clearly not belonging to the area.

LANCE
(Caption)
"I have to go peeeeee!"

BILL
(Caption)
"Should have went at the last gas station."

LANCE
(Caption)
"I didn't have to go then, I have to go now!"

BILL
(Caption)
"I can pull over and you can pee in the desert."


Panel 2:
Now a shot of the inside of the car, maybe through the windshield.
In interior is as pristine as the the exterior.
We can see Bill, the man driving, who is about 30 years old. He is
dressed as if he just got out of the office, his white button-up
shirt is scuffed and marked with dirt and he has his sleeves rolled
up to the elbow.
He is looking back at his sons through his rear-view mirror. The
children are Lance, 8, and Kyle, 5. Each of the boys have short,
neat hair, and are dressed in shorts and T-shirt. Very suburban
family.

LANCE
I'm not peeing in the desert, there's scorpions out there! And
snakes!

BILL
Then hold it. Grandma's house is just a few more miles away.


Panel 3:
We see the car traveling down a dirt road approaching an old farm
that, were it not for the half dozen other cars parked in front(none
as nice as Bill's), would look abandoned. We can see that the barn
is opened but we can't see inside it just yet.

CAPTION
Grandma's house.


Panel 4:
Bills car is now parked in front of the barn, which we can see is
set up like a dining room, table and all. In the very back of the
barn a large fire pit is burning.
Bill is pulling a man who is gagged and bound with chains from the
trunk. The victim is just a few years older than Bill.
The children are carrying their own luggage and walking towards the
house.

BILL
You two take your bags inside and let 'em know we made it all
right.


Panel 5:
We're now inside the barn.
Bill has slung the victim over his shoulder and is walking towards
the fire pit. Be sure to get the victim's face in this shot. He has
an expression of absolute terror on his face.

BILL
I'll get started on dinner.

VICTIM
(Muffled)
Mmhf!


Panel 6:
Bill has tossed the victim into the fire pit and is walking away
casually. The victim is screaming helplessly against his gag and
trashing about, but the pit is too deep. He's doomed.

VICTIM
(Treat kind of like an SFX)
MMMHHNNNF!!


Panel 7:
The whole family is now seated at the table in the barn, eating up.
It's a full table, half a dozen cars worth, kind of a family reunion
of sorts. Make sure that they're normal looking people, not
"rednecks", but less suburban than Bill. Remember Granny,
specifically.
The table is set almost like it would be for Thanksgiving, but
instead of a turkey as the centerpiece there is a fully cooked and
carved man.

GRANNY
This is delicious, Billy. You'll have to leave a recipe.


Panel 8:
Close up of Bill's face, a slight smile upon it as he chews his
food. I also like the idea of his fork up with another bite ready
for when he's through with this current mouthful.

BILL
No recipe, just roast them.

Have you seen the kind of stuff they eat? They practically
season themselves.

**END

[cresc]

"My New Toy"

I liked the characters and I think the one page format in this case doesn't do them justice. You really need another page to flesh out the idea.

"Dinner Party"

That's one messed up Thanksgiving Dinner! Much better use of the format on this one, managed to throw in a subplot while working with 8 panels! Excellent.

[Chris2.0]

Good luck to all entrants...! I recently did a couple of 1pagers after each other, kinda all 1paged out...!

Best one pager I can remember was in an old Charlton comic, about a guy in a futuristic setting running away from an unseen enemy. His clothing was torn and he was injured, and then they caught up with him! Turned out to be a clone, who got separated from his other clones in an attack, but now he's back home... That was many years ago, impressed me so much I wrote a "homage" to it!

It was where this kid escaped & was running from a giant robot... Which then caught him, but then he felt oddly at peace & home? Then we see why - he's a clone (ta-daaa...) & the robot is using the clones as a human central nervous system in a symbiotic relationship, and then he ejects the old, used-up version of the clone before absorbing the new clone...

So in a round-about way it could be seen as a possible candidate for this dinner party writing comp as well...? Heh-heh...

Did anybody enter InvestComics’ Deadly Tales: One and Done? The same kind of thing, just centered around death...

[My name is Tommy]

@Chris: I'd love to see both the old Charlton 1-page and the homage you wrote to it. That sounds like so much detail to put on one page haha. If you're down to post the homage or point me in it's direction via link, I would be grateful.

Also, I just checked out the One and Done link. And I got really excited and ready to email a couple artists about trying it out... and then I saw the dates haha. I need to be on the lookout for more anthologies to finally get some of my stuff out there and this just sounded splendid haha. I vote we harass them into doing a sequel!

[My name is Tommy]

^What the heck? I wrote a reply to cresc also.... Let's try this again haha

@cresc: Couldn't agree more on the "My New Toy" front. I liked the characters enough that I'm seriously considering throwing them in as side characters in this super hero series I'm writing. I don't think the script's "bad" considering it's like the 2nd or 3rd I've ever written at any length, but it's just not executed too well. I'd want that last panel to be larger than 1 page would allow haha.

Glad you enjoyed the Dinner Party one though! I'm a big fan of dark-yet-light stories.

[cbikle]

Dinner Party At Sector Bravo-Charlie (BYOB)

Page 1
Panel 1

Our story starts in the midwest, where we get an elevated POV of a heavily guarded military facility (armed posted guards, helicopters, attack dogs, etc.) and the U.S. flag should be visible somewhere in the panel.

A radio-static-y word balloon should emanate from one of the buildings.

RADIO STATIC-Y WORD BALLOON: To thank you and your government for your hospitality to my brood, we have prepared this dinner party in your honor.

Panel 2
Now inside the building, we see Senator McKenna (from The Specialist) and Zathlis shaking hands, while other partygoers mingle in the background. Almost all of the males are smoking cigars or pipes and everyone is drinking.

Senator McKenna: curly-haired with glasses, medium build (kind of looks and sounds like character-actor, Eugene Levy)

Zathlis: huge humanoid alien that looks like a 5 armed-lobster, with there being an obvious lack of symmetry. He's wearing a "Ward Cleaver" style casual dinner suit from out of the 1950's-1960's and a high-tech translator which is where his translated dialogue should be emanating.

Other partygoers: Are a mix of high-ranking U.S. military personnel, scientists and various forms of extraterrestrial life that have become "Americanized" and are wearing the latest fashions of casualwear (except for the one alien sporting a Members Only jacket and parachute pants). All of the aliens are wearing a version of the same translator that Zathlis is wearing.

The living room is quite spacious and has a mix of American and extra-terrestrial trappings.

SEN: Well, Zathlis, thanks for having me and the rest of the McKenna clan over !
SEN: I'm sorry Kyle couldn't make it *
ZERNA/RADIO STATIC-Y WORD BALLOON(from off panel) Dinner-meal is now readied !
EDITORIAL CAPTION BOX AT BOTTOM OF PANEL: * To see what's going on with Kyle, check out the story Route 13

Panel 3

Now seated at the big dinner table and Zerna (Zathlis' mate of the same species) lifts the lid from the serving platter revealing a lobster-looking arm that looks identical to one of Zathlis' arms, except in it's broiled state it looks like a cross between lobster and a rib. Sen. McKenna looks like he's going to be sick.

ZATHLIS/RADIO STATIC-Y WORD BALLOON: As my guest, it would be my honor if you ate of my flesh.
SEN.McKENNA: Ulp !

Panel 4
McKenna looks doubtfully mulls this over.

MCKENNA: Zathlis, I dunno...
MCKENNA: I mean...
MCKENNA: Are you even kosher ?

Panel 5

Now wearing something like a lobster-bib, we now see Sen. McKenna biting into the arm-rib.

McKENNA: Wow Zathlis, I gotta say...
MCKENNA: You're delicious
ZATHLIS: Thank you.
ZATHLIS: You should try me with more BBQ-Butter.

Panel 6
Zathlis says something that puts McKenna ill-at-ease again.

ZATHLIS: Now Senator...
ZATHLIS: I believe you earthlings have a ritual known as a "key party" ...?
McKENNA: Uh...
McKENNA: Uh...

[My name is Tommy]

MCKENNA: Are you even kosher?

To me that's the best line of any one pager on here so far haha

[Shaun]

Enjoyed reading all these, Cresc's was especially nice. Alrighty, one pager, here we go...

The Infernal Souffle

Panel One
The eccentric mad scientist DR. WYLDE sits at the head of a table in an abandoned chemical factory. Seated at the table with him are his minions, henchmen dressed mostly in wool sweaters (with the sleeves rolled up) and newsboy caps. A vast feast lies in waste on the table before them.

DR. WYLDE
My minions, don't view this as a consolation dinner. We escaped the clutches of that wretched Vilderchaiah and we live to fight another day!
DR. WYLDE (linked)
Now, where's number 4 and 6 with that infernal souffle?!


Panel Two
Number 4 and 6 are in the ruinous factory kitchenette. They are dressed like the other henchmen only they both wear aprons. They puzzle over an oven.

NUMBER 4
This was NOT in the job description!

NUMBER 6
I would rather go another 10 rounds with Vilder than cook. Boss man should just order out!


Panel Three
We are back on the factory floor as the hero VILDERCHAIAH attacks the unsuspecting villains. He is a dark anti-hero like Batman, only he embraces the wolf as his symbol and dispense justice with claw tipped nunchuks.

NUMBER 4 (off)
I really think we need to ask for health insurance. Have you ever seen an OLD henchmen??


Panel Four
Back in the kitchen Number 6 pulls a deflated brown blob from the oven. Number 4 holds his nose in disgust.

NUMBER 6
I don't know, Four. I think a rat crawled up in and died or something!


Panel Five
Back in the main room Vilder lays a devastating right hook into the face of the insane Dr. Wylde. His bloody grin reveals no sign of displeasure.

SFX
CRAAAAACK!


Panel Six
Number Four and Six walk into the cavernous main room of the factory, both holding the disgusting desert. They're looking down in shame, not aware of the presence of the arch-nemesis.

NUMBER 4
Sorry, Doc, I know this is a bad time but is there any chance we could get an HMO?


Panel Seven
Vilder stands atop the table, crouched and ready for battle. Through his half mask we glimpse a smile. All around are the battered bodies of henchmen, including Dr. Wylde.

VILDERCHAIAH
Oh, you're gonna need it!


Panel Eight
Small Insert of the souffle, a rat pops it's head out and peeks around.

CAPTION
The End.

[cresc]

@Cbikle Ha ha! This is my favorite so far. Reminded me a lot of Milliway's Special of the Day. For some reason i could see a short lived, giant lobster race doing exactly that. Diplomacy with them would be rough!

@Shaun 4 and 6 are the oddball Karate-knowing Chef thugs that Jackie Chan always encounters. I dig stories that give insight to the background characters so i enjoyed this.

[My name is Tommy]

@Shaun: Some action! That's what this thread was missing. Very entertaining, you have earned the 3-pager challenge haha.