Looking for a script...

[Fallenangel]

Hey guys! (my first post here -ever)
As the title says, i'm looking for 3-4 page script to practice on... preferably with TopCow characters
or with something similar (a supernatural detective story or something like that...)

hmm...that's pretty much it... appreciate the help

Cheers,
Fallen.

[My name is Tommy]

I don't have a script that fits that description, But I do have a one-pager I wrote forever ago. It's kind of a cheesy hero thing. Not the best story-wise, but very clear shots and storytelling practice for an artist. If you're interested let me know and I can email it on over.

[Fallenangel]

I don't have a script that fits that description, But I do have a one-pager I wrote forever ago. It's kind of a cheesy hero thing. Not the best story-wise, but very clear shots and storytelling practice for an artist. If you're interested let me know and I can email it on over.

Thanks man, but what i'm looking in a script is something more down to earth/realistic not the superhero type.
Anyways thank you for the offer.

Fallen.

[Zepster]

Thanks man, but what i'm looking in a script is something more down to earth/realistic not the superhero type.
Anyways thank you for the offer.

Fallen.

ahhhh

Witch blade doing the under cover cop thing looking for what happened to missing girls and being stalked by demonic wolves ( of course ), her cover detail get killed and she deals with the wolves only to face their master..... So, it starts out mundane but gets a bit horror/mystical?

Not sure if that strays too far into the fantastical for you... Otherwise I can rustle up something a bit more normal/realistic easily enough.

I have two episodes of a very dark crime thing I did a while ago that may be more up your alley, if you want to review and pick/choose which pages are of interest.

Let me know...

[Fallenangel]

ahhhh

Witch blade doing the under cover cop thing looking for what happened to missing girls and being stalked by demonic wolves ( of course ), her cover detail get killed and she deals with the wolves only to face their master..... So, it starts out mundane but gets a bit horror/mystical?

Not sure if that strays too far into the fantastical for you... Otherwise I can rustle up something a bit more normal/realistic easily enough.

That actually sounds really cool, how many pages is it?

[Zepster]

That actually sounds really cool, how many pages is it?

3 at the moment ( it ends with her confronting the baddie but not beating the sh!t out of him, easily expanded by a few pages if thats what you want ) - Do you want them private or just here in the thread?

[Fallenangel]

3 at the moment ( it ends with her confronting the baddie but not beating the sh!t out of him, easily expanded by a few pages if thats what you want ) - Do you want them private or just here in the thread?

A 3 pager is fine with me.
You can post it here or pm/e-mail me, whatever suits you best.

And again, thank you

[Zepster]

A 3 pager is fine with me.
You can post it here or pm/e-mail me, whatever suits you best.

And again, thank you

Howdy – Hope this works for you. I’ve thrown in dialog/captions to give you practise at making space for it. It’s a very short Witchblade story – but can be easily expanded if you’d like ( ok, there is a page 4 but 3 is probably enough for now ). Any feedback would be appreciated.

Page 1

Panel 1

Ext, just after sunset. We’re above the city streets looking down. The buildings are thrown into silhouette against the fading sky while the streets below are already alive with street walkers, pimps and Johns.

In our immediate foreground and looking down on the scene is the partial silhouette of what we’ll later be calling a Shade Wolf. Basically it is a demonic, dire wolf sized/shaped predator that can shadow shift.
It shouldn’t be immediately obvious what it is now, but if we reread the story we should be able to spot it.

CAPTION: THE URBAN JUNGLE. PEOPLE USE THAT PHRASE WITHOUT EVER GIVING IT THOUGHT.

Panel 2

We’ve moved our POV closer to street level now and can see Sara Pezzini walking alone down a street towards an alley. Pimps and prostitutes are watching her warily. She is dressed in a trench coat and wearing sun glasses and a hat. If we can see above, she is being shadowed by a shadowy wolf like figure that uses the rooftops to move about.

CAPTION: AN UNEASY QUIET LIES ON THE JUNGLE TONIGHT. ITS BUSTLING ENERGY BROUGHT LOW AS ITS DENIZENS STAY HIDDEN IN THE SHADOWS HUDDLED TOGETHER IN FEAR. JUST LIKE A REAL JUNGLE.

Panel 3

She stands alone at the entrance to a darkened and litter strewn alley. We should have caged windows, rusty fire escapes and a dumpster. Lots of places to skulk and hide. She has a hand to her ear as she uses a concealed radio.

There are Shade Wolves waiting for her but they’re not fully visible yet and maybe should look like you’re being artistically imaginative by giving the dumpster a wolf’s shadow or see one in a seemingly random shadow pattern on the wall.

CAPTION: WHEN A PREDATOR IS NEAR.

SARA(Radio): RED RIDING HOOD RADIO CHECK.

Radio: WOODSMAN RADIO CHECK ACKNOWLEDGED.

Panel 4

Our POV is slightly below and looking upwards at Sara as she looks nervously up at the walls of the alley. She has moved deeper in the alley now and on the roof tops behind her we can now see the Shade wolves ( at least 3 ) snarling down at her from behind. Their eyes should glow red and teeth be stark white against their dark bodies.

She hasn’t quite noticed them just yet but in instinctively aware of them – if that makes sense. She has just removed the sunglasses to better see in the darkened alley.

SARA(Radio): GOOD BECAUSE SOMETHING TELLS ME WE’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE GIRLS.

Panel 5

Ok, we have Sara turning rapidly and firing with her gun ( or guns if you want to go the manga route ). Her coat is swirling dramatically, hat has fallen off to allow her hair blow about the place. Shade Wolves are attacking from above by leaping towards her, but these are creatures of shadow, they should be blurred/fast moving. She is wearing a stab proof vest beneath the coat, her cop badge hangs around her neck.

SARA(Burst): WOODSMAN!!!

SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM

Page 2

Panel 1

Sara, half kneeling in the middle of the alley. Her coat and legs should have slash marks, with blood dripping from her leg, maybe a few scratches on her face also She still has her gun but is looking in horror at the silhouettes of several shade wolves lingering in our foreground. There should be shade wolves behind her also.

SARA(burst): WOODSMAN WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

Panel 2

Sara has regained her feet but is trapped in the centre of a group of snarling/snapping wolves. She still has her gun ready but is thoughtful/confused. She is discarding the ruined coat and we can see she is wearing a sleeveless t beneath the stab proof vest.

SARA: MY BULLETS DID NOTHING BUT THEY’RE NOT ATTACKING. THEY’RE HOLDING ME HERE. WAITING. BUT FOR WHAT?

Panel 3

We’re close in on her face as she gives the radio another try. Behind her we can now see the shadowy figure of our villain, the Huntsman. He is a tall figure draped in a tattered cloak and armed with a bow. His eyes glow and he has a horned helm, antlers rather than a rams horns. He has a quiver with one arrow in it.

SARA(Radio): WOODSMAN RESPOND. REPEAT WOODSMAN….

Panel 4

Close in on the grinning and rotted corpse like teeth of the Huntsman. They're dirty, uneven and sharp.

HUNTSMAN(Judge Death style works well for the text here ): THE WOODSMEN SLEEP BENEATH THE EVES OF THE FOREST. THEY WILL NOT RISE AGAIN THIS NIGHT.

Panel 5

Close in on Sara, as the meaning of this sinks in and she sees the Huntsman for the first time. She is shocked but angry, her eyes wide.

Panel 6

A collection of bodies, all with their throats ripped out. We’ve a couple of uniformed cops and a plainclothes one also. There is a blood drenched radio beside them. They’re in a cop car parked near the alley.

Radio: BILL? FRANK? GLOVER? SHIIIIII..

Page 3

Panel 1

The wolves attacking Sara in mass, bundling her under their shadowy bodies, her gun firing uselessly.

SARA(Burst): IIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Panel 2

A glimpse of her face beneath the shadows, determined, a flash of steel. Maybe even the beginning of her armouring up around the eye.

Panel 3

The huntsman stooped as he watches on, his bow held at his side. From the seething mass of bodies we should see a blade emerging, dripping in smoky shadow.

HUNTSMAN: SHHHHHH IT WILL GO EASIER IF YOU DON’T STRUGGL….. EH?

Panel 4

The Huntsman reaching for the arrow, ducking, as dying Shade Wolves fly violently past him through the air, leaking shadow smoke.

HUNTSMAN: AHHHH THERE IS STEEL WITHIN.

Panel 5

In our immediate foreground we have the huntsman still going for that arrow, but still clearly surprised.
Our focus though is of Sara standing proud and fully ( well partially ) armoured up in the middle of a heap of dead/dying shade wolves ( they dissipate in clouds of darkness as they die ).

She looks angry, resolute and ready to kick ass as the witch blade has formed a wicked looking sabre on her arm. Her coat, if we can see it at all, lies in tatters on the ground.

Important: In the background, and again probably only noticed on a second reading – We have one or two of the Darkness’ homunculi (sp?) watching proceedings.

SARA: I GOT YOUR STEEL RIGHT HERE.


Right - hope that hits the notes you're looking for. If not, let me know and I can adjust.... And again, any generic feedback, re descriptions/clarity/panel count etc.. would be most useful.

thx

[My name is Tommy]

I sold mine poorly. It's more a talking heads scene between a villain and their roommate and actually more mundane than this one. As I said though, cheesy and old. Zepster's here is better haha.

[Fallenangel]

Howdy – Hope this works for you. I’ve thrown in dialog/captions to give you practise at making space for it. It’s a very short Witchblade story – but can be easily expanded if you’d like ( ok, there is a page 4 but 3 is probably enough for now ). Any feedback would be appreciated.

I did some sketches for it yesterday..feel free to look at my SB thread, i would have some more constructive crits when i"ll do the layouts.