Marvel Samples! C & C greatly appreciated!

[lucasnickerson]

Hey guys- just finished work on these pages sent over from Marvel! Before I give them a final polish, I'd like to know what you guys think.

[golgotha]

not bad. there are some anatomy issues, but the thing i would change is the flower girl looks like a small adult instead of a child. i think with fewer details on the face would help and maybe make her a little thinner in the arms and legs.

[dstry]

Hey Lucas,

I can't help noticing that you've redrawn Daredevil #1 by Paolo Rivera. I really liked that comic as well, but I just happen to have read penciljack's submissions guide a few minutes ago; http://www.penciljack.com/forum/entr...for-submission

One of the things that the author mentions is to choose pages that aren't very good to redraw from. The problem here is that the pages from Rivera's Daredevil #1 were OUTSTANDING... Very hard, if not completely impossible to top those pages. Here they are for comparison's sake:





It might help to study Rivera's compositions a little bit, yours feel cramped by comparison.

[lucasnickerson]

Man- you know your books! This is what Cebulski sent though, not what I've chosen. Rivera definitely has a lighter take on DD, but I opted to go much darker- away from a spider-man type. I agree that the panels are feeling camped though, but I attributed that more to the abundance of blacks. Should I lighten them up? Or should I simply break the panels up? We obviously have different styles and storytelling methods, but I definitely dont want my panels claustrophobic either!

[dreno360]

Awesome to see the comparisons on the originals and your takes. That flower girl does indeed look like a small adult.

[Juggertha]

Page 4 isn't doing a lot for me. The action sequence takes some figuring out... and the menacing guy doesn't look funky, but rather too sketchy.

Pg 3, pnl 2 is the strongest, IMO.

[Smitty]

While details help define age with adults (Aunt May's wrinkles, Reed Richard's white temples) proportions are the way to achieve youth. Eyes on the mid line=Adult. Eyebrows on the midline=Child. Split the difference for teens.

Note there's really only one drawing here (on the left). The image at right is copied and pasted. It has the EXACT same skull, hair eyes, nose and mouth. The difference is: the eyes have been lowered, nose and mouth are slightly reduced and lowered. If I can get that close simply by adjusting the placement of grown up features in a child's skull, imagine how much closer you'd get using child like features.

[Bryan E.Warner]

Are you just doing the inks?

[lucasnickerson]

Are you just doing the inks?

The whole thing, I'm afraid! I will get to edits, but I'm really busy with another project right now, so I'll post them when I can! thanks for the tips though!

[Mr. Nixon]

I think the tilted perspective on the fourth panel of page two is a little distracting. It gives the feel that the people are sliding of the page. Also as far as composition, the placement of the flower girl seems to close to the center and the chairs are spaced unevenly on either side of the rug. The head of the guy in the background is peeking out of her hair, which is kind of a composition "no-no". If the path was a running a little more diagonal across the panel and the girl was more to the left I think it would look a little more balanced. The composition portion of Andrew Loomis' book Creative Illustration (you can find the pdf online for free) has some great info on composing a scene to lead the eye through a shot. I hope that helps.