Velvet Gardens

[GuntherGoltz]

Hey everyone! First time posting any art here.

These are the first two page of a book I'm working on, obviously unfinished. This is my first foray into digital inking, so I'm looking for crits on that, and also a test on some gray tones.

Lemme know what you think!

[Deth]

Very nice. Good angles

[Emperorsteele]

Very nice, very clean... I'm a bit perturbed by the fact that each successive panel feels less and less finished. You have a fully rendered splash page, first panel has blacks and some shading, second panel has just blacks, and third panel is just line art. And while I like the angles, it almost feels like the character is falling, because you go from one extreme to the next.

Also, you have the character surrounded by pine trees, but in the third panel, they're all normal trees. I would go back and try to mix that up a bit. Actually, no, scratch that... Do some research, find out if forests with one kind of tree usually have other trees in it. Upon thinking about it, it's rare to see several types of trees all near one another... they're usually clustered into groups. So maybe you're good the way you are. I dunno, it just struck me as odd when I saw it here.

[GuntherGoltz]

Awesome tips man, that's some stuff I've been wrestling with.

It's funny you mention that about the trees, I struggled with balancing accuracy with expediting the page, as pine trees are not fun to draw from that top-down angle. The story is set in and around Tillamook, Oregon in 1982, and I did do some research on the native foliage around the shore line-- there are a range of deciduous and evergreen trees in that area. However, if it rips the reader out of the story and makes it feel like a different location, I'll just have to redraw some trees.

On the unfinished nature-- the grays are a test right now, I'll post the next two pages tonight with some more finished tones.

I've got 22 pages penciled and I'm poking away at the inks, tones and lettering. I want to keep posting as I progress-- what's the etiquette here? Two or three pages per post to not overwhelm? Or should I just edit the first post with any new pages? I'm shooting for getting 2 per day posted here for critiques.

Also, any tips for putting stars in digitally on my night skies, (not pasting a photo or anything, just tips on brush types or something)?

[GuntherGoltz]

page 3, tones unfinished. Still trying to work through the oddities of lettering in Manga Studio.



I have NO idea what happened to the word balloons being so off here! If anyone has any tips on this, (done in Manga Studio EX 4), PLEASE help me out!!

[svonhershman]

Even though the text is obviously shuffled and messed up, I hate the font! Otherwise I love your work.

[Ace Corona]

As far as the artwork is concerned, you're very skilled. As a suggestion for the lettering dilemma, maybe you should make the panels and do the lettering and dialogue balloons first, before you do the artwork. You might try starting a thread in the tips and techniques subforum and ask for help with this problem, or better yet, post in the thread that is already started about lettering. Someone here probably knows how to help you.