Undead Lands 2

[pbcpres1]

issue 2, Pg. 1

Pg. 2

[cbikle]

Looks good; I like the different angles.

[pbcpres1]

thanks, but too bad that pg 3 is going to disappoint you. the writer told me not to overthink the last panel's composition, in regards to the clashing perspectives of the vehicle, and the background.

[walterostlie]

I think adding some backgrounds and varying angles would really bring this page to life. Everything is too straight on.

Page 1, Panel 1. This is straight on. For a splash page you could take some time with a 2 point perspective, so the side and back of the truck. I can't tell if he is in the city or forest or what. It also looks like he and the truck are floating off the ground, their feet aren't touching anything. The shotgun looks small. You could give the truck more personality. Dents, mud, blood, stickers, etc.

Page 2, Panel 1 shows a little bit of a twist of angle, but I think you it could have been more.

Page 2, Panel 2 it is small so I can't see what he is doing. but where did the lighter come from in Panel 3? and how did it turn on? Where's his hand?

The rest of the panels are all pretty much straight on, straight side or straight down. Doing too many straight on shots ruin the illusion of depth.

Also I would think about adding gutters. Having panels butt up against each other is confusing for readers.

[Bryan E.Warner]

I'm with Walter on this one....
Keep at it!

[pbcpres1]

personally, i would like to use those tips that you've suggested in a comic, buuuut again, it's the writer who just won't budge on what compositions that he prefers to see on the page.

i wanted to use gutters, but he wants that 90's style, with the thin black lines.

[ScottEwen]

personally, i would like to use those tips that you've suggested in a comic, buuuut again, it's the writer who just won't budge on what compositions that he prefers to see on the page.

i wanted to use gutters, but he wants that 90's style, with the thin black lines.

When I read a script where a certain composition is described that I know I can improve on, I usually go ahead and do my version. Every time I've done that I've had the writer say "much better than how I envisioned it," and I've never had anyone request I change it back. Obviously if your writer is Alan Moore, you may want to stick close to how its scripted, but if you're working with an amateur writer or even someone who's only been published a few times, don't hesitate to disregard the compositions they request. I don't mean any disrespect to writers, it's just that our job is to figure out how this stuff is going to look.

If you come up with something better than what's in the script and your writer still insists you do it exactly as he wrote it, find another writer.

[Bryan E.Warner]

A Writer like the artist must be flexible for a true collaboration

[walterostlie]

I was in a review session once with an editor from Marvel. There was a group of us hopeful artist and we each took turns showing her our portfolios. We all got to listen to each other critiques. It was pretty awesome.

She pretty much tore all of us a new one. She was the most vicious review I've ever had, but totally helpful. So a few artists decided to blame some of their page's fault on the writer. "The writer told me to do it." I think she finally had enough of hearing excuses (FYI, if you are getting a portfolio review, don't make excuses, no one cares, just take the advice.) So after hearing 'the writer' for the umpteenth time, she said (I paraphrase and add some flair )

"When the page is finished and the art and storytelling sucks, people will think you're a crappy artist, not the writer. That is your name on that artwork, so why would you do shoddy artwork and take a crap on your own name? So if you have a writer telling you to do something wrong, tell them why it is wrong and do it the right way. If they don't want to listen, then maybe it is time to find a new writer."

Besides, I don't think I really said much about composition. You can keep the same composition and still have perspective, depth, and clarity of storytelling.

[Bryan E.Warner]

That sounds about right...